Posts Tagged ‘Personal Development’

Conscious Eating


I’ve seen the subject of food and spirituality crop up on many a blog, and I’ve also noticed the attitude that “all vegetarians are militant fuckers, kinda like evangelical Christians, forcing lettuce/Christianity down your unwilling throat in a bid to “save your heathen soul!””. Yeh. You won’t often hear from us quiet vegetarians, because we are too busy managing our own lives to start telling other people how to live. I’ve never made a big deal of my vegetarianism, although there are times it crops up.

I recently went to a great New Year’s Eve party where the host was serving up sausage and bacon sarnies.. he’d graciously been out and bought me some Quorn sausages and made me the best damn sausage ‘n’ bread combo I’ve had :)
I admit, I’m seriously tempted by bacon.. but who isn’t? I’ve known bacon-eating Jews. Yeh bacon smells good. No, I don’t eat bacon. I said tempted, it is possible to RESIST temptation! o_O
Meanwhile, other blogging veggies I have read about would have been scrumpled in a corner bitching about the meaty smell or pompously lecturing partygoers on the evils of animal slavery. Or of course, they’d not have attended, as a protest.

Palehorse likes his meat.. and he gets it. I cook a mean blue steak and I once won an award for my faggots. I love to cook and bake, and I have no problem handling and cooking meat. Bacon brownies anyone? ;) Of course, I’ve had the whole “bad veggie!” thing levelled at me because I am not super-anal about avoiding all contact with meat.

I do think there is an element of controlling in the whole food debate. A friend, a lifelong “animal-loving” vegetarian was harangued into eating meat during her pregnancy by a midwife who thought she was a “silly little girl” for being vegetarian. So many women think “midwife knows best!”, especially during a first pregnancy, and of course a lot of people are intimidated by the medical profession in general. This smacks of bullying and a desire to humiliate on the part of the midwife.

So, wither spirituality? My own personal opinion is that one should care what they put into their body, as much as they care what they feed their mind. I am all for making conscious choices, and for exploring them that bit further.. something that makes “popular opinion” exceedingly uncomfortable :D Eat meat, eat dairy, eat people if you so desire, but do a little research if you haven’t already. Do you want hormones, food fillers and chemicals in your body? Whatever your diet, there are always healthier choices available.

I do not see eating meat as evil or unspiritual. For millennia, native peoples have hunted, and used every part of the animal they captured. For this reason, I have no beef(pun intended) with leather, skins or furs as a by-product of meat-eating.. and as an angry Goth dominatrix I need all the leather I can get.

I draw issue with the treatment of animals in the food industry. In traditional farming, before it was all mechanized and intensive, animals were treated with respect and meat was a once or twice weekly menu item, with the left-overs being put to use over the next day or so. The animals had a natural life, ate real feed and reared their young. The demand for a daily fix of meat has meant that most livestock are now treated like the cheapest mass-produced consumables, and have no hint of a normal life experience. They eat their ground up brethren and have their young taken at birth. Life should never be cheapened. This is why I buy organic and free range meat and dairy products when cooking for others.. and is as ethical as I wax on the subject.

Would you mindlessly accept everything fed to you by the media? Do you hate who you are told to hate and welcome the new “safety” measures you are told to applaud? Do you revel in a kind of grim martyrdom over your lot in life? Do you treat all your belongings as disposable? Well, if you do then I doubt you read our blog anyway :D

What I chose to eat, or not eat, is my business. I do not force my choices onto others. I can happily co-exist with, and cook for a carnivore without compromising myself. I tread the middle ground in the veggie/carnie spat.
This blog has been about my stance. Whatever your preference is, if it is in tune with your spirituality ..if you have thought about it.. and it is right for you, then that is all that matters. I do not think that vegetarianism is a prerequisite for being included in the top ten internet spiritual guru list, nor do I think it makes one a better person/yogi/tolle-ite/lover.

I’d never raise a child as vegetarian, for the same reason I wouldn’t tattoo a 2 year old. I don’t own my kids; it isn’t my choice to make.
Others do raise their kids as veggies, for many reasons and that’s fine, they are doing what suits them as a family. There are many diverse ways one can choose to live or express themselves. There is no right answer, no “true path”, except to be aware. You are a tenth-level ninja who loves steak tartare? Great. You don’t eat anything that casts a shadow? Cool. Whatever works for you.. just accept that it may not work for everyone, and take your “chick tracts” to recycling ;) Lead by example, but understand that your way isn’t the only way.

Conscious spirituality encompasses a knowledge and understanding of what you consume.. mindfood, bodyfood, material goods. It’s about respect. Know and understand what you eat, in the same way as you would think about the latest conspiracy theory or what religion is doing it for you this week. To be spiritually awake is to be in touch with yourself and aware of your actions, and to make positive choices.
Unthinking roboticism is a soporific drug, and sadly, often easier than waking up.

–Gehenna

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Link Love

Its that time again… here’s some useful stuff I’ve stumbled across and been reading this week.

Reviving Batteries and More Reiki Stories — I’ve been reading Reiki Retreat for a few days; good stuff there. I gotta try reiki-ing batteries now.

9 Distant Reiki Healing Tips — Can you tell I’ve been in a reiki-ish mood? This post from the Reiki Blogger gives nine great tips for distance healing.

A Surefire Recipe for Successful Manifestation of Your Wishes and Desires — Desika’s blog caught my eye since the title itself, “I Am My Own Master,” is a big theme that comes up a lot on Beyond Within. He’s recently written a great article on manifesting your desires.

How Your Attention Turns Possibilities Into Reality — Werner’s personal development blog covers some good ground about the relation between consciousness, quantum reality and manifestation. Its definitely given me food for thought and fuel for experimentation. And that banner is pretty epic. :P

Unmediated Interaction, Spooky Action Theory, Quantum Teleportation, and the Web of Life — Continuing on the quantum reality theme, Jennifer discusses “spooky action”: particles acting without a known cause or interaction, and explores the implications for our greater reality. Fascinating stuff, that.

That’s all for this week!

–Palehorse

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Conquer Your Fear #3: Embrace Change!



Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

–Helen Keller

Next to social anxiety, fear of change, the unknown and attachment to “security” are the other biggest obstacles to truly living. This idea of security can be a powerful influence. We often prefer what’s familiar, even if it’s not in our best interest. The toxic relationship. The job you can’t stand. The “comfortable” life devoid of risk when you know you have the potential to be more. You know when you’re in this sort of situation, because you can feel it; your discomfort is your spirit longing to express itself more fully. Ultimately, the only true source of security is within — it’s a state of mind that you can achieve now, regardless of your external circumstances.

Life is perverse in the sense that, the more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire.
–Brian Tracy, as quoted by John Clark

The fear of uncertainty is perfectly natural – but the truth is that security is an illusion; change and uncertainty are two of life’s constants. Resisting change only leads to stagnation and stunts our growth. But something I also learned from experience is that when you start making moves toward your passion and your highest good, reflecting more of your true self, the universe will respond by opening up new paths to allow you to keep going.

Life Lessons from a Supervillian

A wise friend once explained to me that the universe never wastes energy – it’s not going to lay a bunch of options in front of you that you may or may not overcome your fear enough to move toward. So, get to steppin’, and then you’ll start to see new opportunities. For some reason this explanation gave me the mental picture of Magneto in one of the X-Men movies. If you’ve never seen them, Magneto is able to control metal, and there’s a scene where he steps out into empty space and pieces of scrap metal are forming a walkway under him as he goes. This was a powerful image for me (hey, whatever works, right? ;) ) — step out in faith and you’ll find yourself on your path. Even if it looks like there IS no way possible – I urge you to just start moving. If you don’t know what to do or don’t have any sense of direction, just do something different from what you’ve been doing, and if you don’t like the results of that, do something else. Don’t wait either – start moving today, even if you only take a baby step. You’ll start taking bigger steps once you reinforce your confidence, but you have to start somewhere or you’ll never start at all. If you’re thinking you have too many commitments and attachments and “responsibilities” to think about moving in a different direction, that just means your first steps need to be toward releasing some of them. If you’re not completely happy with your life as it stands now, and not living out your passion, then you owe it to yourself to try something new (and if you are, hell, write me a guest post and tell us how you got there. Heheh. :P )

Testing (or Being Tested By) My Philosophy

Once I realize something, like change, is a given, I tend to embrace it and do whatever I can to turn it into an asset rather than an adversary. I’ve found that this approach is great for reducing resistance and stress in my life. In keeping with my previous post about “arranging the playing field on your own terms,” after finally ending a mutually unhealthy relationship, I confronted many of my fears about change, security and social situations… by going on vacation. :D

My wacky adventure started when a long time online friend from Delaware invited me to head over for a visit. When I mentioned this in my personal blog though, I was suddenly inundated with demands to “visit me too!” Long story short, this evolved into an epic hippie-trek down most of the east coast. At the time this was a big step out of my comfort zone – I had a lot of anxiety surrounding things like being out of my element, meeting new people, having to be social for extended periods, getting lost and generally not feeling like my circumstances are under my control. As such I kind of knew this was going to be more than a regular vacation, and I was deliberately using it as an opportunity to confront a lot of stuff at once. But by this time I had been taking deliberate (though smaller) steps out of my comfort zone for a while, often just to see what would happen.

In the weeks leading up to it, and during the trip itself, I was definitely tested. Everything about it from the order of the visits to the actual people I’d be visiting kept changing as people dropped in and out of the arrangements, and the whole thing looked to be on the verge of falling apart several times. The day before I was supposed to leave I even discovered someone had yoinked my suitcase for their own vacation, thinking it was theirs, and at that point I couldn’t afford a new one. To say I was getting tense is an understatement; I was frequently worrying about what I had gotten myself into, even thinking I was probably a bit nuts for agreeing to all this (luckily for me my sanity has often been the subject of debate :D ). But every time something changed, I made it a point to remain calm and kept reaffirming that everything would go perfectly, exactly as it needed to. Right before I left I happened to hear from my mom that she had been out and stumbled upon a suitcase even better than my old one that was being sold at a fraction of the regular cost because of some small cosmetic defect. I took it as a good omen. :)

The testing didn’t end once the trip began, either. It started out with security taking too long and my gate being changed after my layover… resulting in me running across Phoenix airport with my belt and boots in one hand, holding up my pants with the other, and getting let onto the already closed plane by amused employees, which is a lot funnier now than it was at the time. I did get completely lost in the baffling labyrinth that is Penn Station in NY… and then managed to find and board my train at 1:33 that left at 1:35. There was another day when I had an all day train ride across several states into PA, but still hadn’t heard from the next person to know whether I had a place to sleep that night.

But you know what? By the time all was said and done, the whole thing went off even better than anything I could’ve planned myself. Nothing went so wrong as to be a serious problem, I had a great time, and came back with a lot of good stories. I attribute this to the fact that I surrendered my concept of security and trusted that things would turn out fine. The whole experience had a profound impact on my philosophy and approach; even the course of my life itself. Years after the fact, I also see that trip as “training” — without that, I’m not sure I would have been able to suddenly pick up and move over to the UK, when the opportunity presented itself within a span of a few months. But it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I’m still getting confirmations along this crazy journey that I’m continuously moving toward fulfilling what I came here for: my soul’s full self-expression.

Now it’s your turn: what did you do today to move toward your highest good?

–Palehorse

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Conquer Your Fear #2: Squash Social Anxiety


Earlier in my life, I could’ve been a poster-child for social anxiety. My self esteem was a general disaster area. I was awkward meeting new people. I had a hard time looking people in the eye. If a random person unexpectedly stopped me to talk, my first response would be to feel defensive. And don’t get me started on trying to approach women… yeesh.

At some point in our lives we have all experienced social anxiety in one form or another. When surveys are conducted, it ranks near the top every time, even above the fear of death! As I said in my last post, fear that aids in survival can be healthy; fear of things that aren’t directly threatening to our survival, not so much. Social interaction never killed anybody, and people are naturally social animals. Obviously finding a way to eliminate these fears is in our best interest.

So why are we so afraid of each other?

That’s a damn good question; glad you asked. ;) Social anxiety stems from two mistaken beliefs, held either consciously or subconsciously.

1. “My worth is determined externally, by what other people think of me.”
2. “Other people are more important than I am.”

Fortunately I can scientifically prove that both of those are false; no matter who you are. Using quantum physics no less. Don’t run off screaming; I promise it won’t make your head explode! ;) Check this out:

Question1: What are you made of? (Correct answer: “Particles and empty space.”)
Question 2: What am I made of? (Correct answer: “Particles and empty space.”)
Question 3: What separates us? (I’ll give ya three guesses and the first two don’t count. Yep: “Particles and empty space.”)

Call me a geek (and you’d be right) but reflecting on this truth was one of the major shifts in thinking that eliminated my fear of other people. And it’s the same thing mystics of all major traditions have been saying for centuries: we are all interconnected, and the different between “me” and “you” is hazy at best. We all have a role to play, from the president, to the beautiful woman you want to get to know, to you and I; but “importance” and “authority” are both illusions that we project on other people. When you realize on every level that your self worth is inherent and comes from within, that you’re about as important as you believe yourself to be, and that other people’s opinion and response to you is largely influenced by how you see yourself, you will be the one projecting an air of authority and importance. It then becomes possible to use even your own self image as a tool to start creating your ideal social experience. Let’s look at some specific situations though, and what can be done to make them feel more natural.

Fear of Social Situations

Once you’ve done the internal work to improve your self image to reflect the response you’d like to get from others, the best advice I can give is to practice, practice, practice. If you still have anxiety, acknowledge that but do it anyway. It helps to keep in mind that there’s a good chance the other person whose opinion you’re concerned about might be just as worried about what you think of them! Or that they used to be, if they’ve already done the work to move past their own social anxiety. In any case I’m not going to go too much into how to build good social skills in this post because I’m mostly concerned with achieving the ideal state of mind first; besides that topic has been covered on a million other sites, and books.

One thing I do recommend is doing some thinking on what your comfort zone is, and then deliberately taking small steps outside it. Use the every-day encounters that you probably have to do anyway for practice. I found people that I encountered on regular errands or otherwise had to buy something from, to be good practice for two reasons. First, being pleasant is probably part of their job, so you’re basically guaranteed a good reaction. Secondly, all too often people like the mailman, the bank teller, the waitress, aren’t acknowledged on a more personal human level – so when you do, their reaction will probably be genuine. In any case, the positive interaction will reinforce to your subconscious that you can interact confidently and get a positive response. So, when you’re going about your day, make it a point to look that person in the eye, smile and tell ‘em to have a good one.

A lot has been said about how the online world is no substitute for social interaction in person, which is true, but kept in its proper perspective it too can be used as a tool for overcoming social anxiety. When I was restructuring my self image and way of relating to others, you might say I beta-tested a lot of my ideas and ways of communicating online in order to see how other people reacted to different things. On the internet we can be whoever we want, so it’s a good place to experiment with minimal risk. It was also useful for developing my interests, finding new ones and getting more comfortable expressing my thoughts, beliefs and opinions to other people. At some point though, you’re going to have to take what you’ve learned out in the real world in order to continue growing.

For those who are feeling a bit bolder, I recommend taking the experimentation out into the real world. After all, there’s no better way to overcome a fear of making an ass of yourself… than by making an ass of yourself! :D This ties into what I said yesterday about setting up the playing field on your own terms. This can be a lot of fun – get together with an equally adventurous friend, go someplace away from where you live where nobody knows you, and deliberately do things that are out of character. Go out wearing something ridiculous. Make up a joke survey and see if you can get people to take it. Go up to the first ten people you see, tell them you’re from the planet Zexpar, your ship has crashed and you’re wondering if they have a spare fluxulator. No, seriously. The idea is of course to set things up so that you can drop your inhibitions in a safe way, and in doing so, lose your attachment to what other people think. What do you have to lose except your fear? This exercise is limited only by your imagination and comfort level. Let’s keep it legal and ethical too, though [insert liability waiver here for my-arse-covering purposes]. ;)

Fear of the Opposite Sex

This is the other biggie for many people, and I’m no stranger to it. Most of what I have to say is of course from a male perspective, but hopefully my female readers can also extrapolate something for their own benefit.

For many guys, approaching women, especially really attractive ones, is nerve-wracking. It helped me a lot to think on why I found beautiful women intimidating. At some point I decided there was no reason I shouldn’t interact with whoever I want, and this fear was holding me back, so I started challenging it. The short of it was that after questioning all the usual assumptions, when I couldn’t come up with a good answer for why they should be intimidating, I stopped being intimidated. ;) The longer version is that women, no matter how beautiful, are just regular people like me or anyone else, strengths, weaknesses, flaws, insecurities and all. So why should I give them any special treatment, whether in my own mind or in practice? Why is it up to me to impress a woman? If I’m to decide whether she’s someone I want to pursue spending more time with, isn’t it equally important for her to impress me? Just another few examples of how thinking outside the box and challenging disempowering beliefs can bring good results.

My idea above for deliberately going outside your comfort zone in a “safe” way applies here too – go out in public, pick a girl you find attractive but aren’t worried about ever seeing again if it goes badly; smile and say hi, or even start a conversation if you’re up for it. Don’t even plan on having anything more come of it; do it solely for the practice. For that matter, strip clubs (yes, seriously) could also be a good place to get used to talking to attractive women in a safe environment. Just see it as social practice and don’t read too much into it there, turbo; it’s what they’re paid for. ;)

One last thing for now thats worked in my favor, oddly enough… is that I’m an equal opportunity heckler. Even when I was having a much harder time socially, I’ve always loved messing with people in a playful good natured way and pointing out the absurd wherever I find it… and nobody is safe, muahaha. It’s probably not for everybody, but if you can pull it off, it works extremely well on a lot of levels. Humor and laughter is the best cure for tension and anxiety for all involved. I’ve also found that when it’s done right and everyone’s having a good time, a bit of ribbing is disarming in a way that puts you in the “power position” of an interaction and causes people to see you as 1. fun and 2. someone they want to impress.

Now that I’ve gone through the ways I overcame my social anxiety, it’s your turn – what has worked well for you? Tell us about it!

–Palehorse

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You Are Your Only Authority



I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life that have caused me to ask the question “who’s in charge here”? Who can I look to for recourse when bad things happen? Why was that person able to get away with what they did? Why was this allowed to happen to me? These questions became especially relevant after I identified and kicked “The Judge” out of my psyche. The answer that kept coming back was simultaneously liberating and, in a sense, terrifying.

There is no higher authority in your universe than you. There is nobody judging, controlling or overseeing your life in the truest sense.

*Cue heated internal debate lasting several weeks*

Me: Wait… what was that again? So there isn’t anyone “in charge” to look to when things are going wrong? Or rather what I’m really asking is, there’s no universal complaint department whose door I can beat down to air my grievances? Okay, what I’m really really asking is, there’s nobody who’s going to fix situations and smite evildoers on my behalf?

Myself: No, I don’t believe there is. Well holy crap, then where do I go from here?

I: Inward.

When I had this revelation, even though my rational mind was protesting vigorously, my solar plexus chakra (the seat of personal power and will) was going nuts and my energy was crankin’, as if to shake me vigorously and say “YES! You’re onto something! For the love of God man, go with it!” So I did.

Speaking of God, that doesn’t mean I’ve given up a belief in a higher power. I believe there are any number of beings who are higher in awareness; some can even be approached for comfort, guidance and assistance, if they choose to give it of their own free will. More significantly I believe there is only ONE power that all personal power is derived from. The Upanishads summarized the situation with the statement “tat tvam asit,” or “thou art that.” Similarly, Christ rattled the power structures of his day with the statements “I and my father are one,” as well as “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I have said you are gods’?” To the extent that we identify with this power, we exercise our own authority. When Adam and Eve metaphorically “ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,” they (we) succumbed to the illusion that there are two powers. But the dark, negative polarity has no power in and of itself; it can only take power away from those who aren’t exercising their own. Which brings me to another truth I’ve come to recognize…

Whatever authority you relinquish, consciously or not, someone or something will gladly step in to take from you, and they will have their own best interest in mind, not yours.

From birth, we’re conditioned to believe that someone or something else has authority and control over our lives. Parents, teachers, religion, government, media. In a sense many of these things are vying for control over our us. Every day, someone is telling us how to spend our time and money, how to think, what to believe, trying to influence our likes, dislikes and opinions. And what about children, who aren’t in a position to make their own decisions? Ideally, young kids would be raised to be secure in their personal power and authority; it would be safely guarded until they are ready and able to start exercising it. Unfortunately the case is usually just the opposite – the indoctrination and disempowerment starts early, and some people never question or break free of it. But through the lifelong process of questioning our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and the influences we allow into our lives, and by taking responsibility for ourselves and our experience, we can begin to break free.

How many of your daily decisions are made by you, and how many by others? How many of your beliefs and opinions are truly yours? How much of your time and money is spent consciously and deliberately? How much of your life are you taking full personal responsibility for on a daily basis?

Now, if you’re not completely satisfied with your answers, what are you going to do about it?

Tomorrow I’ll post a technique I’ve developed for changing false, limiting, even self-destructive beliefs at their root, in order to be free of their effects.

–Palehorse

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