A "Create Your Own" Reality-Check

A “Create Your Own” Reality-Check

April 3rd, 2008

What I’m going to post today will probably be fleshed out and given more context by future posts, but well — I’m pissed off now. :P I’d rather write what’s on my mind rather than spending days on a bunch of intro material and then writing something that has less impact than it’s having on me right this minute. So.

I’ve been doing a lot of pondering on a dilemma. First, you have the popular idea in spiritual circles that we create our own reality. Fair enough; I’ve seen this principle in action to an extent, in my life and the lives of others. Where people start alleging that all of our lives are planned in advance, that we all choose our parents and so forth, is where I start to take issue. How do we reconcile the idea of creating our own reality with events that seem very much outside our control, and do a lot more harm than good to our development?

Granted, my childhood was relatively “normal” (if anything can truly be called that) — but if I had a nickel (or 5p rather :P) for all the truly genuine, spiritual people I know who had horrific experiences in childhood, I’d have enough money to open a chain of counseling centers by now. This pseudo-rant was triggered in part by two different musing sessions with two of these people just today, in fact. I know so many spiritually-aware people who had to end contact with one or both parents because their parents were toxic, that it’s almost starting to seem like it goes with the job description. I’m not satisfied by the usual explanation that these experiences are chosen in order to learn and awaken spiritually, either. Sure, in many cases these experiences cause the individual to turn to spirituality as a way to change their circumstances, and maybe they do — after going through the difficult process of healing all the ensuing trauma. Wouldn’t it make more sense, serve the same purpose and be much more efficient to be born into a family of already advanced souls who would encourage and nurture one’s development, without all the trauma in between?

Childhood aside, I’ve had many experiences in my own life that I’ve always felt were not meant to go the way they did, even if I did learn something from them. People I didn’t realize I should never have associated with until a lot of damage was done; costly mistakes I feel like I was “nudged” into and so forth. I’m all for taking personal responsibility, but many times even in hindsight I don’t see any way that I could have made better choices. There simply were no influences in my life or in my frame of reference offering any hint of a better alternative. Though there certainly was no shortage of influences very loudly trumpeting the virtues of what turned out to be a bad option! Lessons were learned, but then time that could have been spent learning further lessons had to be spent fixing the damage done by the first set instead. I am unable to believe this is the best possible way that life lessons can be learned, and I have experienced being able to set up my own life lessons deliberately — although it’s still more difficult to exercise this ability than I believe it should be, because of everything that came before. So what gives?

My current idea is that we come into this life with a certain set of lessons to learn, obviously. These lessons can be learned in a number of ways, positive and negative, and technically we have the choice as to when and how. In reality though, free will is only as free as our ability to use it and knowledge that we can; without those the idea of free will becomes meaningless. In childhood we have neither the knowledge or ability, through no fault of our own — but the part that many belief systems leave out is that elaborate control structures are in place to try and see to it that we never do. Look around, and I’m sure you can identify a few without me having to make a list. ;)

Unfortunately there are forces in this world that can smell a soul on the verge of awakening like a shark smells blood in the water from a mile away. The need to learn the lessons one came for is apparently “permission” enough for them to do what they do, which is to swamp the soul with distractions, deception and bad options which lead to more bad options. In order to stay “within the rules” they have to leave open the possibility of learning a life lesson from all this, but at great personal cost, and the added risk of further growth being made much more difficult. While I do believe we can choose the circumstances of our births, I’m also beginning to wonder if someone who doesn’t know this can be “diverted” by opportunistic negative forces at the time of incarnation, into a birth scenario that technically matches their soul vibration, but in a negative way. Unfortunately a child who grows up feeling like they have no control over negative circumstances often grows up to be an adult whose decisions are rooted in the false belief that we have no control over what happens to us. This results in more bad choices, which attracts more negative people and circumstances. Wash, rinse, repeat.

My question is — where is “higher help” in all this? According to most sources they sit around waiting to be called upon in all but the most dire life-or-death circumstances, in order to “respect our free will.” This would be all well and good if the other side wasn’t simultaneously taking advantage of every loophole in the book to try and make sure we never realize help exists, or that things could be different. So instead of having a life that continually gets more enjoyable with time and experience as we learn and grow, many of us spend years digging ourselves into a hole, more years trying to figure out how to dig out of it and clean up the resulting internal mess, and then hopefully have some time left to enjoy the fruits of our progress… before we have to forget the bulk of it and start all over again, possibly having our incarnative amnesia further taken advantage of. Something definitely does NOT add up here as far as I’m concerned.

As cynical as this post may have seemed though, I’m going to end it on a high note. There IS a way to balance this equation. The answer has to do with the fact that time as we know it, “past” and “future” are illusions. Much as light moves through a reel of film to create the illusion of a linear, forward-moving sequence of events that we call a movie, so too does consciousness move through a series of quantum events that exists in an eternal “now.” I and many others have had great success healing “past” aspects of the self by interacting with them in the present, as I described in my post Internal Time Travel. I’m not entirely satisfied with healing only my current self, from my present frame of reference onward into the linear future. If all aspects of ourselves exist in their own “now,” don’t they all deserve “redemption” just as much as the version of ourselves who finally figures out how to pull it off? What if it were possible to act as our own council throughout time, to take responsibility and exercise fully informed free will in ALL our decisions, reshaping the past from the present just as we create our future? What if we could take the idea of creating our own reality a step further, and re-create our whole reality?

I realize I’ve touched on quite a few subjects only briefly that probably merit much more explanation. I’m sure those will find their way into future posts. For now, g’night!

–Palehorse

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