A facebook friend recently asked for suggestions for a personalised number plate. Having narrowed it down to half-a-dozen choices, he pointed out his favourite and a few “possibles”. Cue OUTRAGE!

Most people took offence to VI0L80R for various reasons; that it didn’t fit with their idea of who he is; that it “unnerved them”; that it was “triggering” because they’d been beaten, raped or almost-raped, force-fed meat or murdered yesterday, in a previous incarnation, by association or in a dream. This led to various forms of passive aggressive wheedling and promoting of another choice because it was “cuter”, “fun” and various other words hinting at sugar-y.

I’ve noticed the same thing on a forum I moderate. In the beginning, I took much flack and whining about my name (Gehenna) because of other people’s ignorance to anything other that the King James Bible. I used the name Eris briefly and they all patted me on the head and expressed happiness that I’d chosen a handle that fit in much better with their fwuffy world ..because fiery purification is much, much worse than the Goddess of Discord

I enjoy a darker aesthetic than most. I’m not afraid to explore “scary” themes through music, film and personal style. It’s a healthy outlet for a facet of my character that we *all* have in common. It doesn’t make me a Satanist, Snake-oil Peddler, Darkworker or any of the hundred other things I’ve been accused of. Repressing things causes problems that end up being expressed anyway, often in uncontrolled and dangerous ways.

The VI0L80R number plate encompassed several different cultural references my friend resonates with. References to rape and abuse *originated* with the commenters. They projected their experiences and connections onto the number plate. They *chose* to become offended after dredging up an unpleasant meaning to link said plate to. They took offence.

Stop right there!! If a word makes you feel bad, ask yourself WHY? Are YOU in control of your life, or are you bouncing around aimlessly? There are a million and one things out there that people get wound up and indignant about, and those million and one things will rule your life if you let them!

Every time you get all worked up about something you cannot control, you are handing over your power. You are saying that someone, or something outside of you can dictate how YOU feel. With all those million and one bugbears passing through your sphere, you’re in for a long time of feeling powerless.

I am not here to please you, and nor is anyone else. YOU are here to please you

In reply to the number plate thread, I said: “I’d go for VIOL8OR if it resonates. Other people’s issues are theirs to deal with. Why moderate your cultural references for people..? You’d end up having to change everything that pisses people off. There is always gonna be someone who finds stuff offensive. Hell, people are offended by Xmas, fairies and fucking unicorns!(I am offended by unicorns).

Surely fixing yourself, and dealing with your triggers is easier than expecting the whole world to change for you? Because in a world of nearly 7 billion people, there are gonna be sites, situations and people that are a LOT less sensitive than Steve. I say this as someone who has dealt with trauma; I am not sitting in an ivory castle.. but ultimately there is only one person who is responsible for the offence we take, the hurt we feel and the reactions we have and that is OURSELVES.”

Take back your personal power! Don’t allow anyone else to dictate how you feel. We are sovereign beings who’s only true control is over ourselves. Trying to change other people is a waste of time and doesn’t work. If you find another’s aesthetic distasteful then figure out what it sets off within you, and understand yourself that bit better.

We make conscious choices about who we interact with, but at the same time take note: Avoiding every possible “triggering” situation will make your world smaller and smaller. True power over one self, true self-mastery, is to fear nothing and no one! Go get ‘em, Tiger!

–Gehenna

Popularity: 5% [?]

Are you ashamed of something.. your financial situation, weight, an illness or disability? How many of you lie to others about those things, or act self-effacing when they come up in conversation? Do you put yourself down because you want to get the jabs in before someone else does?

Why do you feel this way?

There is a lot of hatred and venom aimed people on welfare, at the overweight, at smokers, the mentally ill ..the list is endless. Someone is always hating on someone else, and it is usually because they are “told” to by popular opinion. (That, and fear that they will catch “gay-”, “illegal-”, “goth-” or “pro-choicer-” disease.)

So, where does popular opinion come from? Why from YOU! Popular opinion is the sum “vibe” from all of us. That’s right.. it is your fault again

If you identify with a stigmatised group; if you feel ashamed because of your circumstances or problem then you are fuelling the bad feeling, adding to the hurt other people feel, and increasing the divide… and around we go.

Do you have friends in similar situations to your own? By bad-mouthing yourself, you are insulting them. You may say that you don’t look down on other people, but some part of you must do, to treat yourself in such a shoddy manner.

All the nastiness that comes across in popular opinion (Rawr!! shoot all welfare people!!) starts with us, as individuals. Now, you could say that “I am ashamed because all the papers say….”, but that shows your primary concern is what other people (who haven’t even met YOU) think.

Why are you handing over your power to faceless strangers? Take back control; don’t let those idiots with their ill-informed, media-roused rubbishy sound bites, make you feel less of a person. You are so much more than just the one small part of your life! Let everything you are shine through. Be proud!

We ALL, every single damn one of us, make mistakes. “There but for the grace of God..” and all that. If someone judges you unfavourably because of something you can’t help right this second, then boot them from your life; don’t waste time trying to please an asshole.

Putting an end to intolerance and stigma starts with the individual. Show the same acceptance and love to yourself that you extend to other people. Deal with your own fear, hate and embarrassment.

If you seriously believe all the bullshit you read in the news about how immigrants, single moms and aliens from Jupiter are stealing your tax dollars, seek help.

We all seek to live in a loving world, so do your bit. To quote ourselves here at Beyond within ad nauseum -”Change yourself, change your world”

–Gehenna

Popularity: 8% [?]

Here at Beyond Within Towers, we often discuss how spiritual themes are present in music, art and literature. Most of the human race like to express themselves in their surroundings, and as to the few who eschew a personal style.. well, that is another (pending) blog

Simon Meola is an up-and-coming Australian musician-and-artist worthy of your attention. I’m no art critic but his work encompasses themes similar to those found in the creations of Alex Grey, M C Escher, Gerald Scarfe and Salvador Dali

A particular favourite is “Veil to Veil” which illustrates this blog post. The bold, bright colors and organic feel remind me of my personal deck of Tarot cards, the Neuzeit Tarot.

If you like to decorate your environment with insightful art, that reflects your path as a seeker then take a look at Simon’s work. He displays an astonishing array of artworks, so I am sure there will be a painting among them that you will fall in love with

“Veil to Veil” reproduced with thanks to Simon Meola at “Dimension of Art”, http://www.simonmeola.blogspot.com/

–Gehenna

Popularity: 9% [?]

With so many spiritual websites out there emphasising positivity, it is no wonder so many of us feel like we have failed at life when we wake up feeling less than love-and-light-y.

For those practising the “Law of Attraction” there are dire warnings against negativity, and thus manifesting what you do not want.

Of course, feeling good is important ..but for it’s own sake first and foremost. Changing your life circumstances is the long-term goal, but it should be remembered that happiness comes from within.. your circumstances are the symptom, not the cure.

In my experience, it doesn’t help to plaster on a smiley face and repress your problems.. they are still playing out internally and causing you pain.

Crappy emotions are a sign something is wrong, much like pain indicates an injury to your body. As you would salve your wounds, so you need to address the issues which are causing you emotional pain.

I find that giving the negative emotions a voice; allowing them expression, is cathartic and doesn’t scupper your long-term goals of improving your vibration. To indulge the odd day of unhappiness is to release it from your experience. We are so afraid to be human, and we really shouldn’t be. To deny a part of ourselves only makes it more determined to show up, and play out in a way you have no say in.

If you wake up and feel overwhelmed by sadness, jealousy or anything else that makes you feel less than smiley, try one of these techniques:

Play some music which reflects the emotions you are experiencing.
Draw or doodle your thoughts.
Cry and scream, or punch pillows.

..but most of all, do not beat yourself up for being human!

By practising these techniques you’ll soon realise how much energy it takes to feel bad.. and you’ll learn that letting off steam regularly is healthier for you than bottling it up.

Raising your vibration isn’t about having an unbroken string of joyful and abundant days.. it’s about loving yourself, warts and all

Originally written for, and published in EarthSpirit Tarot’s newsletter.

–Gehenna

Popularity: 13% [?]

Whatever religion, creed or path you follow, a “dark night of the soul” is inevitable. There is no such thing as an unshakeable belief. Life happens in all it’s glory.. the highest highs, and deepest lows, and sometimes when we turn to our higher power for answers, none are forthcoming. None that we like, anyway

It may feel as though you have been abandoned in your time of need. You question everything, and you feel stupid for believing in something greater than yourself.

So, how can you re-ignite your faith when you feel so let down? There is no easy answer.. but here’s my 2 cents:

Think of yourself as the child, and your belief system as the parent. Now think on what “guidance” means.. and what it is not.

As a parent, I am tasked with guiding my children. I support them as they grow and learn, and I’m there to fix the bloody knees and runny noses. As they get older, I take a step back. I’ve given them the knowledge and tools to make their own way in life, and to fight their own battles. I’m still there to dispense love and comfort, and a offer a listening ear.

Sure, I could wave the magic mummy wand and step in to a playground disagreement, and in later years pay off the overdraft or have words with the mean scary boss.. and don’t those scenarios look ever more controlling and unhealthy?

To quote from the popular movie Deep Impact; God hears all prayers, even if the answer is sometimes “No”. Every parent says “no” to their child at some stage, for good reason. Material support might not be an option, but they can always offer emotional support.

As your creator, your higher power gave you life and free will. You were born to experience life, to grow, love, learn and achieve. Your higher help is still there, cheering you on through hard times, willing you to make it over the obstacles so that you can know the joy of a victory well-earned. Maybe you have shut out that voice in your anger and frustration?

Do not let hurt and pain blind you to all those times that your “parent” stepped in and gave you a helping hand. Life has many lessons, and the point of them isn’t often clear until some time later.

It is in our darkest hour that we need to use the faith, tools and lessons of easier times. Open your heart, mind and intuition ..in the midst of chaos you will find calm, strength, endurance ..and you will know that you are not alone.

Originally written for, and published in EarthSpirit Tarot’s newsletter.

–Gehenna

Popularity: 12% [?]