A friend I’ve known since childhood asked me to write on the subject of “Disappointment”, and how other people offer platitudes that, while well-intended, often make us feel worse.
Let’s start by looking at what disappointment is, so we can figure out how to move on from it. Simply, it is unhappiness with how something has turned out. The issue in question is partly fulfilled, but has a major flaw.
Your current position in life may not meet your teenage aspirations. Prince Charming’s mask slipped to reveal that he is really Captain Bastard. The new job is nowhere near as rewarding as you thought it’d be.
So, you are disappointed. Friends will tell you that “It will get better, suck it up!”, “There are plenty more fish in the sea! Try that guy who likes you (but who you don’t fancy at all)”, or “Make the best of it! At least you have a job!”. They will jolly you along and try to take your mind of your woes.
Don’t forget the Love ‘n’ Light “Gurus” who bully you into plastering on a false smile, being grateful, and generally pretending that you are happy. Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil ..bury your head in the sand and convince yourself life is lovely-jubbly. Lie to yourself, and you won’t care that you are in debt up to your eyeballs!
Wait up! That is not dealing with the problem. It’s settling for less than you want. It is compromising. Do you really want to compromise on the life experiences you are shooting for?
Compromise in this case is a form of martyrdom, where you sacrifice your goals on the say-so of others. So fucking WHAT if “it’s the same for everyone”? That’s just peer pressure. Other people may have given up.. that doesn’t mean you should as well.
Try this instead:
Rather than trying to cover up your disappointment ..embrace it. What is it that is not good enough about the situation? What would it need to be perfect? Refine and script the experience you want. This worked incredibly well for me when I was looking for hot male company 
Disappointment can be used as a tool to identify and craft the life you want. A better way to help a friend who is in the doldrums over their circumstances would be to say “hey, you are right to feel that way. I’d be feeling pretty upset too. So what is it you really want?”
That will encourage them to open up and focus on what they want, and to get back on to their life path with renewed excitement and enthusiasm for the future.
We all deserve happiness! To gloss over disappointment is to stop striving for the true joy, contentment and love that can be ours. Allow disappointment to express itself so that it may teach you it’s lesson and sharpen your imagination.. because the only limits on your achievements are self-imposed;)
–Gehenna
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