1. Service to Self and Service to Others (STS vs. STO) is a false dichotomy.
If you’ve been involved with spiritual or New Age material for any length of time, you may have heard polarity described in terms of “service to others” and “service to self” or “STO vs. STS.” These terms originated in the Ra Material allegedly channeled by a small group of people in the early 80s. Since then, they have been frequently adopted by those of the lightworker persuasion to describe the perceived need to “polarize.” Service to others is of course viewed as “positive,” and service to self as “negative.”
While I’m sure most people understand that in practice it’s not very realistic to pick one and exclude the other entirely, there has still been a tendency to portray them as an either/or, two paths in conflict with each other. This is misleading and problematic. I have known many people, including myself a lot earlier in my life, who get so carried away with trying to “serve others,” that they completely marginalize and forget themselves. Nobody can go on like this indefinitely; the outcome is that these people end up being no good to themselves or anyone else, and are forced to swing back heavily toward serving themselves just to get back on some kind of even keel. If they’ve become overly resentful in the process, they may just end up staying that way. In this way it could be said that being too gung-ho about STO actually creates more STS people. Things also get problematic in that many lightworkers try to “serve others” against their will, by attempting to convert others to their own paradigm and moral framework. Forcing help on someone who doesn’t want your help is, arguably, a self-serving act. And around and around we go…
It would probably be more realistic to say that there are self-serving, and others-serving elements in nearly everything we do — and if we’re going to survive long enough to serve anybody, this is how it has to be. Rather than trying to figure out the orientation of every act and then trying to get a sum total out of it (which is what you’d have to do to figure out one’s polarity in STS / STO terms) I find it more meaningful to focus on the understanding that one’s actions come from. Some people and entities, being disconnected from their heart chakras (or possibly not having them to begin with) for various reasons, perceive the world as an inherently competitive place where the way to survive is at everyone else’s expense. Others, whose heart chakras are present, healthy and functional, perceive a sense of interconnectedness with their fellow beings. This leads them to recognize that their highest good, and that of everyone else who is aligned in this way, are not mutually exclusive; they are, in fact, one and the same.
As for me, my goal is not to be any certain percentage “STS” or “STO” — my goal is self-mastery. The nature of my path means that I will naturally serve and be served by those whose goals and values are aligned with mine. Self mastery means that, by definition, I have to spend large amounts of time and personal resources on myself, but the result is that I have more to offer others, and am happy to do so, such as by making information that I’ve found helpful available on this site. At the same time, if I allow myself to “serve” to my own detriment, then I would be moving toward martyrdom, not mastery. I give simply because I choose to, and aim to live and act in such a way that benefits myself AND those who come into my sphere of influence who are similarly aligned. I have also done inner work on myself such that my overall general focus at the energetic and subconscious level is service (rather than say, security or gratification). This might seem selfless if not for the fact that I also realize that in this orientation, my basic needs tend to be taken care of without much direct focus or worry on my part, and whatever gratification I might enjoy tends to show up on its own. 
Of course not everybody is aligned with my goals and values, and I have no intention of “converting” anybody to anything. Every individual needs to work out their own path for themselves, and I am at my best, and accomplishing the most, when mutually serving alongside likeminded people. Others will indirectly benefit from my service, though I don’t necessarily focus heavily on those who have no need or use for my particular areas of specialization at this time. My time, insight and personal resources are also not for those who seek to control and manipulate regardless of whether they have the best of intentions. Those that attempt to block or divert my path generally receive only a complimentary demonstration of free will by being unceremoniously removed.
2. Extreme Passivity is Not a Virtue.
When the subject of nonviolence is discussed, names like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi and Jesus Christ are typically mentioned in order to illustrate its principles. The point at which lightworkes often drop the ball on this one even while placing themselves in the same category, is when “nonviolent resistance” regresses into the form of its neutered cousin: extreme and undiscerning passivity.
The three men mentioned above all had specific objectives, of which nonviolence was part of their overall strategy. MLK and Gandhi were both up against a greater power in physical terms, and used nonviolence and civil disobedience as leverage in order to effect change by swaying public opinion in their favor. Jesus allowed himself to be put to death because he felt it was part of his personal path — though he is also recorded as having used violence on at least one occasion. (John 2:15) The point is that in all three cases, these men were most certainly not passively allowing their opponents free reign. They were willing to speak out, boldly and loudly, even if it put themselves in danger. Their nonviolent resistance was a calculated means to a specific end. Gandhi, it should be noted, had no place for cowardice among his followers. To those whose nonviolence is rooted in fear, such as the lightworkers whose stance against violence amounts to their fear of punishment in the form of an imagined karmic backlash, Gandhi had this to say.
“Gandhi guarded against attracting to his satyagraha movement those who feared to take up arms or felt themselves incapable of resistance. ‘I do believe,’ he wrote, ‘that where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence.’” (Source)
I am personally ambivalent about the use of violence in any form, though the discussion of that subject goes beyond the scope of this article. I’m definitely in favor of using force when necessary, which can be done in many ways without resorting to physical violence. It should be pointed out that many bullies and predatory types will immediately back down when confronted by a show of force, although discernment is required to know whether this is a safe option. In any case what concerns me is the tendency among “spiritual” people toward the view that being a spineless jellyfish, and immediately rolling over in submission at the first sign of opposition, is a virtue. I recently read a quote from a lightworker to the effect that in the hypothetical event of an attack on his family, he hoped that he could be a “willing punching bag” so that they could get away. After reading this, I must admit I had the urge to knock some sense into him myself. Ahem.
This underscores the major difference between the lightworker approach, and that of the Three Amigos of Nonviolent Resistance up there. The former doesn’t resist or accomplish anything; it only disempowers the individual and encourages bullying behavior to continue unchecked. It’s really no wonder that so many bullies, liars, predators and sociopaths are able to elevate themselves to positions of power and influence — when we’ve got so many lightworkers who see it as a virtue to hand over their own to the darkworker’s cause.
Every individual should take an approach to this question that best fits with his or her conscience, and nature. Whatever your stance on violence though, the best position is one that empowers you, takes a firm stance against bullying or predatory behavior in any form, and refuses to indulge or help perpetuate it — including by being a victim.
3. Darkness is not “bad.” It just IS.
We all have a dark, or shadow-side. That part is a given; the important question is what you choose to DO with it. Lightworkers tend to view any manifestation of darkness in a negative light, including their own, and either try to change or deny those aspects of themselves. The problem is that when you deny or repress any part of the self, especially that one, it simply expresses itself in a way that is not healthy for you or anyone else, internally and externally. Granted, we live in a world where some very dark individuals routinely get away with very nasty things. The irony is that if lightworkers (and everyone else for that matter) were to take responsibility for and integrate their own darkness, and become masters of their own personal power, there would be no darkworkers. Why? Because most of the power darkworkers hold is stolen. If we weren’t making so much available for them to steal, and making our unexpressed darkness available to exploit, they’d simply be forced to find another way to sustain themselves, because doing so at the expense of the rest of us would no longer be an option.
That’s not to say that darkness is always unhealthy or destructive, although “destruction” is itself a force of nature that is necessary for creation to take place. Darkness is only unhealthy when it gets sociopathic and predatory, or when it’s manifesting unconsciously. My own approach is to become conscious of my darker aspects without trying to change them into anything else, but finding a way to align them with the highest common good. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that we could actually learn a lot from darkworkers. Without being able to rely on the cooperation of others, theirs is a path of high resistance and struggle, which forces them to develop other strengths such as intelligence, organization, drive and ambition. Can you imagine what our world would look like if what I described above were to happen; if all that misplaced power, resources and the talents of the people who have taken them were freed up and put toward the common good? It may be a pipe dream, but if you’d like to see it happen as much as I would, then making friends with your own darkness would be a good place to start.
4. We are not all the same.
Lightworkers have a bad habit of assuming they’re the only people in creation — that everyone is either a lightworker or a potential lightworker who doesn’t know it yet. Diversity and free will be damned! This gives rise to the desire to convert or “fix” others, usually in terms of convincing them to accept a given belief system and moral framework. Nevermind that we coexist with a diverse cast of characters on a variety of paths, whose choices are theirs to make. I recently saw a quote from a self-described lightworker to the effect that “everyone wants love.” This idea is common — project enough love ‘n light at any person or entity, and they’ll eventually morph into Mother Teresa. The problem there is that not everybody you meet has a heart chakra with which to process love, sometimes by choice as they have willingly signed on to the darkworker path. Even if someone wanted a heart chakra who didn’t have one, who wants to bet me a sandwich that the average lightworker has neither the knowledge nor the tools necessary to make that happen?
Speaking of sandwiches, another good reason not to assume that everyone is fundamentally the same and headed in the same direction, is that it can be unnecessarily dangerous — if the person you’re looking at and seeing “lightworker in training” is looking at you and seeing “lunch.” At the very least, by trying to fit everyone in the same mold, you run the risk of infringing on the free will of someone who may be just as concerned with “doing good” as you are, but have a very different definition of what that means.
5. “More polarized” is not “more advanced.”
I have noted a tendency among lightworkers to view the decision to “polarize” as a sign of spiritual advancement. And it is… for them. In other words, they have designated this incarnation to experience polarity from a certain angle, and so the conscious decision to be a lightworker is an affirmation of the path they signed up for. More power to you if you have come to this realization in your own life; one should be applauded for the conscious decision to follow their own path. However, the mistake I see many make is to view everyone else in terms of lightworkers, darkworkers, and “those who haven’t made THE decision to polarize YET.” This decision is often portrayed as an eventual hallmark of everyone’s path. Why is this a mistake?
Because one person’s path is another’s distraction.
Early on in my own path, I encountered the path of the lightworker being portrayed as the be-all, end-all… and it sounded good! So I tried it on for size… and soon found that it didn’t fit me. All I experienced at that time was tension, problems and other signs that I was not being true to myself. What I later found out is that for me to advance on my path was to acknowledge that I’ve had my fill of experiencing either polarity by itself — I’m on a path of balance.
6. I don’t want to be positive all the time. I want to be real.
Under the lightworker philosophy, there are no negatives — the ideal is to frame every thought, emotion and situation in a positive way. The usually stated reason for this is “we get what we focus on” This is problematic because our emotions — even our negative ones — serve a useful purpose. By paying attention to how we’re feeling, we get important feedback about ourselves, our environment and the state our lives are in. Negative emotions are often the body’s way of letting us know that something is wrong. Repressing them not only causes serious problems at the physical, psychological and energetic levels, it can lead one to accept or not even recognize an unhealthy situation, rather than making the changes necessary to improve it or move on. I have learned to view my emotions as tools — and the “positive” ones are just as valuable as the “negative” ones. Expressing negativity only becomes a problem when it becomes a habit; otherwise it’s much more useful to let the emotions express themselves, get it out of your system in a healthy way and move on. If you’re in a genuinely crappy situation, the first step toward a better one is to acknowledge it for what it is.
It is important for me to be real and genuine in my dealings with others. When we’re angry or sad for instance, and mask it with happiness, we send out mixed messages. This disempowers ourselves and deprives our relationships of the opportunity for growth and change. If a problem that should have been acknowledged gets buried in the interest of “staying positive,” it only builds resentment and puts an increasing strain on ourselves and our relationships.
So-called negative emotions also play a valuable role when it comes to enjoying and creating art and music, where the darkness is just as important as the light. If it was all fairies and unicorns, all the time, it would make for a pretty bland experience, and I think I really would go crazy. All told, I much prefer being able to acknowledge, value and utilize ALL aspects of myself, rather than trying to force myself into a contrived semblance of perpetual sunshine.
7. I’m a man.
Or more accurately, the way I think and operate is influenced predominantly by male energy… and that’s the way I likes it. Fiery, active, logical, doing, projective, conscious.
The lightworker paradigm runs largely on feminine, “goddess” energy. Feminine energy is every bit as important; it’s the watery, passive, emotional, intuitive, receptive, subconscious counterpart to the above. One of my challenges has been to incorporate and learn to use my own when it would be appropriate and helpful. In reality, we all possess both, and “male/female” are only some of the many terms that can describe these energies, though my personal preference is still to live and act more at the “male” end of the spectrum most of the time.
Among lightworkers there’s a strong (maybe “strong” isn’t the right word) tendency to demonize the masculine end of the energetic spectrum, and try to operate solely on feminine / goddess energy. Since this conflicts with my personal preference, and I plan on continuing to be myself without feeling guilty about it, this is another way that being true to myself requires rejecting the lightworker paradigm.
8. I like my ego.
Popular spirituality and common lightworker parlance takes a page from the book of Eastern philosophy (and distorts it heavily in the process) by declaring war on the ego. Ignore it, repress it, deny it, kill it, get rid of that ego!
Sorry, but I’ve never done away with part of myself, and don’t intend to start.
I have written in depth about exactly what the ego is and why it’s a valuable part of our experience, as this is an important subject. For now I will say only that my objective is not to do away with my ego — it’s to do away with all the influences my ego has absorbed that aren’t aligned with my purpose and what I want to experience. In doing so my ego has become my own creation.
9. Living as if “all is one” is a recipe for disaster.
The lightworker paradigm tends to downplay the practical need for personal boundaries, in favor of viewing everything and everybody as One. In a previous article I recounted a conversation with a fellow who had likewise taken to viewing everyone, including sociopathic people and negative entities, as part of himself — and was wondering why he found himself continually targetted for abuse by beings of the physical and nonphysical persuasions alike. We all may be from one Source, but for practical purposes, we experience ourselves as separate individuals when living in a 3D world. Revolutionary concept, no? The problem is that trying to live as if we were literally one with everyone else in practice, especially when combined with other common lightworker traits like repressing anything dark or negative, is a good way to get a swift and uncomfortable lesson in just how diverse humanity really is.
10. Light vs Dark is more like a dysfunctional marriage than an epic battle.
“The cosmic struggle between light and darkness” — sounds like the material for a good movie doesn’t it? An ongoing conflict that, from one perspective, has winners and losers, and from another, has only winners. This is how the situation is usually portrayed, anyway. In reality the way it plays out in our world is more like a mutually abusive marriage. Lightworkers and darkworkers both want to control what you, and each other, do, say and think. The only real difference is that to achieve their goals, the dark uses the worst of the male principle (fear, coercion, aggression) whereas the light uses the worst of the female principle (nagging, guilt tripping, passive aggression). Granted one may threaten you outright whereas the other will attempt to irritate you into submission… but both only respect your free will insofar as your choices agree with their personal agenda. As such I stand in opposition to both of them.
Further Reading
As I was developing the content for this article, I happened to cruise over to In 2 Worlds and find that Carissa just wrote an article that covers eerily similar ground. Must’ve been a ripple in The Force™. 
New Age Love and Light Fallacies
Then as I was looking for articles by lightworkers to make sure I was representing their views in an unbiased way, I found this one written by another non-lightworker.
…So then my challenge was to come up with content that couldn’t be summed up with “yeah, what they said.” 
Here are two of the main articles by self-described lightworkers that I read to make sure I was accurately representing the lightworker viewpoint in order to disagree with it. Both Steve and Erin have written extensively on the lightworker paradigm. Both also have a lot of useful and valid things to say on a variety of subjects; this just happens to be one on which we differ strongly. 
–Palehorse
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Wow- what a great article! Good material, succinctly written, and really funny to boot! 2.6 thumbs up!
Thanks Palehorse. I like the No Symbol on the Unicorn. Is that a My Little Pony Unicorn? My Little Pony would best describe a Lightworkers, IMO
What’s funny is during the same time you launched this article with the NO UNICORNS! graphic, I had just purchased some vintage 80s stickers on eBay. One unicorn, one pegasus.
I loved the artwork and the throwback to my childhood, what can I say. Go unicorns! 
haha
Love your style. Thanks for being real. Real is good. Real is what heals and we can still be positive and peaceful and all the other stuff.
Peace
Mirit
Carissa: I have nuttin’ against unicorns per se; just the “lightworker mascot” kind. I’m sure there’s gotta be some epic, fire-breathing battle unicorns out there somewhere, establishing balance in the universe and whatnot… can I get an amen? Anybody? Hello? Bueller? Bueller?
Mirit, Tehuti, Anon: thanks for the kudos!
I agree with the article. Balance is still the key. Its perfectly human to be upset about something from time to time. This doesn’t mean we are not enlightened human beings. We don’t have to stay focused on the negative, we can recognize it, see where it’s coming from and find a solution for it. That’s how we stay balanced. We cannot deny our true feelings. I have discovered this very thing being a lightworker myself. I’ve saved the article, it’s very good.
I think you have missed the entirely. Service means to others AND self.. You cannot help others without taking care of yourself. However, false ego is NOT a good thing. It is behind just about every path to self destruction and destruction of other people and things. You don’t have to be extremely passive to be a lightworker, and you don’t have to be a female either. Good deeds can be done by all, and there’s plenty of work to go around. Being positive IS real… And with all this, balance still is key, achievable, possible and absolutely necessary no matter what path you are on in life.
Peace-
Di
Hi Di,
We may be more on the same page than it seems. As for the ego though my position is that it’s just another part of the Self, and necessary for functioning in the world. The problem is not the ego itself, but rather the fact that most people don’t use theirs in ways that are very healthy. More on that in my most recent article…
http://beyond-within.com/blog/personal-development/the-prime-addictions-of-the-ego/
You seem to be chaotic good! =)
Good call.
I don’t think you know what you are talking about.
I think my definition of “lightworker” is not what the main stream definition is then. To me lightworker is someone who sheds light on the darkness and learns to embrace both and create balance. You can’t have light without dark. SO I will still proudly claim the title of lightworker amongst the things I do.
Saying that, the article is great! And I agree with a lot of what you are saying.
I never did understand the “fluffy bunny” ideal of always serving and neglecting yourself. Or the thought that you had to give and it was not right to receive in return. To me that goes against the Universal Law Of Abundance and throws things out of balance. Same with the titles “White Magic” and “Black Magic” – the “magic” is energy and is neither good nor bad. it’s the person who wields it that makes it so. I’ll stick with my “grey” energy work methinks
Hmmm….maybe I should change the title to Shadow Worker heh heh
That Gandhi has a deeper meaning:
‘I do believe,’ he wrote, ‘that where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence.’”
When or “where” is there ever “only a choice between cowardice and violence”??
And what exactly would the violence be a reaction to?? FEAR maybe?? Of what?
What is “cowardice”? Answer: When FEAR rules One’s perspective and thus their perceptions are filtered through the lens of weakness and inferiority.
False choices, meaning, there are always more than 2.
Hi there,
I am a LIGHTWORKER. Some statements you made were very good and valid however I strongly disagree with some statements you made about how we work.
We work to Balance ourlives, to respect everyone and everything and not to judge another.
We live an a world of polarity and the reason for this is: To experience who we are the way we choose.
I do not believe that living in the light is the only way to spiritual enlightenment, but i do believe it is MY way. With out dark i would not be able to experience light because without it’s opposite how would i even know what light is? So there for i respect the dark also, and the ppl who choose this way.
Putting light into others is how I help people to heal, however i would never force anybody to heal with light if they choose not to, they may not feel they need to heal which mean of course they don’t need too.
As a lightworker my first goal is to honour and work on myself, i am not here simply to serve others and your right in saying if you do not work on yourself, you end up no good to anyone. I do not know a single lightworker that does not honour themselves and give to themselves everyday.
It’s not up to me to awaken anyone, however if ppl come to me themselves then and only then will i teach the way of the lightworker and not before. And please understand i don’t feel that the LIGHTWORKERS way is the only way. But if ppl come to me than they are there for a purpose, and my purpose is to spread light.
I do not judge anyone, of course in saying that i would not be friends with a serial killer, however I would still respect them as a human with a soul who is experiencing itself the way it has choosen, and that way is neither good , bad, better or worse than my own.
I believe that ego does get a bad rap. If we ridded ourselve of our ego we would have no need to get up and got to work, or to strive for anything.
As a lightworker i do not try and be rid of my ego but simply to balance it and Not to be ruled by my ego. And i truly do not no a single lightworker that would say you need to kill your ego!!!
Thanks for your input
Sending Love and light
Just read (most) of your article…I consider myself a ‘lightworker’, and my personal opinions and viewpoints on spirituality do not match this stereotype you have painted of a so-called ‘lightworker paradigm.’ You cannot categorize the opinions and philosophies of all self-proclaimed ‘lighworkers’, just as you cannot say there is a ‘college student mentality’ or a ‘hispanic viewpoint.’
A lightworker, in my experience and my work (massage therapist) is someone who is tapped in to a higher source (spirit, God, what have you…) for the purposes of helping others heal. It has nothing to do with dogma, converting others to my way of thinking, supressing or getting rid of the ego, “Goddess energy”, unicorns, passivity, denying darkness, or any of the other things you mentioned.
In fact, I AGREE with most of what you said about those things……I just feel the term “Lightworker’ is FAR too general a thing to pidgeon-hole this stereotype. Yes, I’m sure there are those who say they are lightworkers that espouse the often absurd ‘new age’ virtues you have mentioned, but that does not mean that ALL lightworkers share those opinions.
My experience with lightworkers has been far different; in fact, the work I have done, in my own healing and learning to help others, has included delving IN to shadow, to learn from the dark, to incorporate; to use the ego as a TOOL, a door of introspection that may lead to self-mastery. And no…not everyone is a lightworker. And as far as chakras….well, that’s something that’s only important if it means something to YOU. If you have no interest in chakras, it’s true…..they don’t exist. Just as if you have no interest in meditation, there is no ’still point.’ It only matters to those it matters to.
So I guess it’s unfortunate that these new-agers have embittered your views of “lightworkers’, because it’s just not true that they’re all flakes. There is no ‘Lightworkers Bible” that contains a list of philosophies and beliefs one must abide by to be a ‘Lightworker.” I almost want to write one as a joke in response to your essay….Chapter 1: Killing the Ego . Chapter 2: The Goddess Path-The Only Road to the Light. etc etc….
Hi Ron,
The bulk of your comment is mostly subjective and not something I can comment much on in much the same way I don’t get into debate with sects of Christians, who believe mutually exclusive things, all wanting to be recognized as the “rightful” holders of the term. Labels and the groups who hold them are dynamic and evolving; this article should be seen as a snapshot of some of the most prominent. If I tried to split hairs, I’d be here all night… and wouldn’t irritate nearly as many people enough to respond.
As I found when doing research for this article, the most prominent and visible people calling themselves lightworkers and attempting to define what it means to be one, espouse these views, and when most people raise objections to lightworker-dom, these are the points that usually get raised. I don’t claim complete originality in this regard, and linked to more material making similar objections that I found synchronistically as I was developing my own. It’s a bit like, if you don’t agree with being represented by the Pope, you may want to find something to call yourself other than “Catholic.” Not saying it’s “right” or that the lightworkers are quite the same sort of centralized institution, but that’s how the popular consciousness works.
Another point I’d make is that while there may be few individuals who completely fit the portrayal I laid out — there are probably a lot more who hold at least some of these views as subconscious programming, just as I found very stereotypically toxic programming from belief systems I don’t even hold anymore, operating and affecting my experience subconsciously. That stuff can be notoriously persistent and hard to get rid of, and shaking it up in people who may not realize they still hold it in some form, is one of the aims of my writing style.
This, I did want to address:
“And as far as chakras….well, that’s something that’s only important if it means something to YOU. If you have no interest in chakras, it’s true…..they don’t exist. Just as if you have no interest in meditation, there is no ’still point.’ It only matters to those it matters to.”
Going to extremes of subjectivity is another one I could have included, and don’t condone myself. I myself had a lot of issues I tried various things to address over about ten years. They resolved only when I discovered: 1. chakras exist objectively, 2. mine had what could be considered “mechanical” problems that needed to be figured out and fixed, and 3. addressed them as such. In that way a lot of things were resolved in a matter of days in many cases. This was enough to convince me that chakras aren’t just a mental construct that are there if you believe in them and aren’t if you don’t — they’re the etheric equivalent of and interconnected with physical organs, with objective functions, specific ways they’re meant to function, and specific parameters that need to be maintained to keep them in good health. Likewise, when I took up meditation I realized that meditative stillness was an objectively verifiable state that I had already experienced in other ways. Subjectivity is all well and good, but so are moderation and balance, says I.
You should write that “Bible”; it’d make for some good satire, which I definitely approve of also.