Archive for the ‘Gehenna's Posts’ Category

Conscious Eating


I’ve seen the subject of food and spirituality crop up on many a blog, and I’ve also noticed the attitude that “all vegetarians are militant fuckers, kinda like evangelical Christians, forcing lettuce/Christianity down your unwilling throat in a bid to “save your heathen soul!””. Yeh. You won’t often hear from us quiet vegetarians, because we are too busy managing our own lives to start telling other people how to live. I’ve never made a big deal of my vegetarianism, although there are times it crops up.

I recently went to a great New Year’s Eve party where the host was serving up sausage and bacon sarnies.. he’d graciously been out and bought me some Quorn sausages and made me the best damn sausage ‘n’ bread combo I’ve had :)
I admit, I’m seriously tempted by bacon.. but who isn’t? I’ve known bacon-eating Jews. Yeh bacon smells good. No, I don’t eat bacon. I said tempted, it is possible to RESIST temptation! o_O
Meanwhile, other blogging veggies I have read about would have been scrumpled in a corner bitching about the meaty smell or pompously lecturing partygoers on the evils of animal slavery. Or of course, they’d not have attended, as a protest.

Palehorse likes his meat.. and he gets it. I cook a mean blue steak and I once won an award for my faggots. I love to cook and bake, and I have no problem handling and cooking meat. Bacon brownies anyone? ;) Of course, I’ve had the whole “bad veggie!” thing levelled at me because I am not super-anal about avoiding all contact with meat.

I do think there is an element of controlling in the whole food debate. A friend, a lifelong “animal-loving” vegetarian was harangued into eating meat during her pregnancy by a midwife who thought she was a “silly little girl” for being vegetarian. So many women think “midwife knows best!”, especially during a first pregnancy, and of course a lot of people are intimidated by the medical profession in general. This smacks of bullying and a desire to humiliate on the part of the midwife.

So, wither spirituality? My own personal opinion is that one should care what they put into their body, as much as they care what they feed their mind. I am all for making conscious choices, and for exploring them that bit further.. something that makes “popular opinion” exceedingly uncomfortable :D Eat meat, eat dairy, eat people if you so desire, but do a little research if you haven’t already. Do you want hormones, food fillers and chemicals in your body? Whatever your diet, there are always healthier choices available.

I do not see eating meat as evil or unspiritual. For millennia, native peoples have hunted, and used every part of the animal they captured. For this reason, I have no beef(pun intended) with leather, skins or furs as a by-product of meat-eating.. and as an angry Goth dominatrix I need all the leather I can get.

I draw issue with the treatment of animals in the food industry. In traditional farming, before it was all mechanized and intensive, animals were treated with respect and meat was a once or twice weekly menu item, with the left-overs being put to use over the next day or so. The animals had a natural life, ate real feed and reared their young. The demand for a daily fix of meat has meant that most livestock are now treated like the cheapest mass-produced consumables, and have no hint of a normal life experience. They eat their ground up brethren and have their young taken at birth. Life should never be cheapened. This is why I buy organic and free range meat and dairy products when cooking for others.. and is as ethical as I wax on the subject.

Would you mindlessly accept everything fed to you by the media? Do you hate who you are told to hate and welcome the new “safety” measures you are told to applaud? Do you revel in a kind of grim martyrdom over your lot in life? Do you treat all your belongings as disposable? Well, if you do then I doubt you read our blog anyway :D

What I chose to eat, or not eat, is my business. I do not force my choices onto others. I can happily co-exist with, and cook for a carnivore without compromising myself. I tread the middle ground in the veggie/carnie spat.
This blog has been about my stance. Whatever your preference is, if it is in tune with your spirituality ..if you have thought about it.. and it is right for you, then that is all that matters. I do not think that vegetarianism is a prerequisite for being included in the top ten internet spiritual guru list, nor do I think it makes one a better person/yogi/tolle-ite/lover.

I’d never raise a child as vegetarian, for the same reason I wouldn’t tattoo a 2 year old. I don’t own my kids; it isn’t my choice to make.
Others do raise their kids as veggies, for many reasons and that’s fine, they are doing what suits them as a family. There are many diverse ways one can choose to live or express themselves. There is no right answer, no “true path”, except to be aware. You are a tenth-level ninja who loves steak tartare? Great. You don’t eat anything that casts a shadow? Cool. Whatever works for you.. just accept that it may not work for everyone, and take your “chick tracts” to recycling ;) Lead by example, but understand that your way isn’t the only way.

Conscious spirituality encompasses a knowledge and understanding of what you consume.. mindfood, bodyfood, material goods. It’s about respect. Know and understand what you eat, in the same way as you would think about the latest conspiracy theory or what religion is doing it for you this week. To be spiritually awake is to be in touch with yourself and aware of your actions, and to make positive choices.
Unthinking roboticism is a soporific drug, and sadly, often easier than waking up.

–Gehenna

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Conflict of Abundance?



A friend of mine volunteers in a local charity shop (thrift store for those “over-the-pond”). He’d been offered a very large donation of ex-hire costumes from a firm which hires exclusively to professionals; theatre companies and the like.. not to the general public. I’d asked if they’d be getting a plug instore as often happens when a business donates. “Na-uh, conflict of interest!” he replied, “we do fancy dress hire at the shop! Corporate won’t allow it!” I found this a vivid example of this idea being imposed solely by belief. The business donating the costumes is not even open to the general public, whereas the charity shop’s fancy dress hire is aimed at people wanting a costume for a party or dress-up-day; there is no “conflict of interest” as they do not share the same client base.

To fear the drying-up of customers/money/resources is to see abundance as limited. That’s a bit of an oxymoron as abundance is ..abundant! “Sharing the wealth” opens doors; it creates connections and increases networking, drawing more of what you want into your experience. What you might “lose” would pale into insignificance. Fear and worry are also negative manifestation.. showing up very quickly in the form of everything you don’t want. Don’t corral your wealth, or impose restrictions on your client base. If you really believe that your source of work, and therefore income, is finite then maybe you should rethink whether you’d be better off working in a cube farm with a nice, steady guaranteed salary. ;)

Here at Beyond Within, we often link to people who sell similar services, and blog on similar issues as ourselves. I don’t see this as taking anything away from us! To jealously guard the in-flow of wealth and abundance is to stifle it’s natural flow. We have loyal readers, but they are not exclusive to us. In the wonderfully diverse spiritual scene that is found online, there is a lot of crossover.. like a buffet of metaphysics and self-improvement. Would you annexe all the fried mushrooms at a real-life buffet? Well, you might, but you’d be so full you’d not have room to experience the southern chicken bites, or the marinated olives. You’d miss out on far more by overdosing on mushroomy goodness than if you shared the delight those crispy pieces gave you. :)

As in Nature, competition for resources is an illusion and better results are achieved by working together.

–Gehenna
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Dispelling the Money Myth



I’ve often heard it said that it’s “wrong” to ask for payment for tarot readings, healing and other spiritual and psychic talents. Wrong by whose standards? Ah yes, “Them,” the secret judges of morality. ;)

I give my energy, time and skill when I work for a client, and they pay me as compensation. This is no different from anyone else using a talent to support themselves; singers, magicians, artists… we all need to eat!

Payment indicates a professional approach; I owe the client a duty of service; I must earn their money. It puts the client in the driving seat, whereas a freebie, a favour- call it what you like, is done at the practitioner’s discretion. It likely won’t contain the effort and attention to detail that a paid, personal service will. Someone offering free healing doesn’t care if you return. I do!

While it seems very loving and “fluffy new age” to share such gifts for free; it does more harm than good, to both practitioner and client. The practitioner is inundated with requests and becomes resentful of the client. The practitioner is drained of time, emotion and energy. Some clients superglue themselves to the practitioner, unable to go to the bathroom without a full Celtic Cross spread to examine their options. The energy in this situation is definitely not balanced!

Which brings me to donations. “Donations are ok!” “They” cry! Well, I’d rather not let someone else define what my time is worth and tell me how much I need to live on. If your boss “donated” to your bank account, would you be 100% sure that he’d pay you enough to cover your mortgage?

With a clear price and summary of what it pays for, the client knows what they can expect from you. The reciprocity of a paid service ensures both client and practitioner are equal; the giving and receiving of energy then occurs with no further debt or obligation. The client leaves the healing session or reading feeling empowered and the Practitioner is able to switch off from the client’s session without feeling drained.

All good readers and healers abide by a code of ethics which states in part that they do not take advantage of a client financially. Detractors often accuse us of fostering dependence for financial gain. I say that the involvement of money REDUCES the risk of a client becoming dependent on me. My clients come from all walks of life, but all are discerning people who have chosen to spend money on the services I offer. With free readings and healing this discernment isn’t necessary; parting with cash encourages a step back to think.

“Free” readings that I offer to close friends are not free of the reciprocity I spoke of earlier. Relationships by definition involve energy exchange. I’ll do my boyfriend a reading and he’ll clean the toilet. :D I’ll send healing to a sick friend, who on recovery sends me a bottle of perfume oil. While these exchanges aren’t written on some chit sheet, they are a tacit element of any relationship.

The fact that I, and many others in my field charge for our work should tell you something very important. We value our time, ourselves and YOU. :)

Originally published in Shadowfae’s Monthly Newsletter.

–Gehenna
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What Is Tarot?


Fate? Free Will? Fortune telling?

What IS Tarot? I’d say that depends on perspective. Someone new to Tarot would be forgiven for thinking it is about laying out the Querant’s entire life path from now, until death. That is, after all, how popular myth shows the caricatured “Gypsy Rose Lee” reader.. a grizzled, colourful hag with a magic window into your future, which is inescapable and has been written since before you were conceived.

So, do you believe you are a puppet, compelled to enact scenarios with no will of your own? I hope the answer is a vehement “No!” :)

One of the greatest gifts given to each of us at birth is Free Will. No matter what cards we are dealt, we are given the wonderful ability to work with them and create the life we want. Want to be a famous rock star? Learn guitar, take singing lessons and network. Put your energy and drive into making your dream a reality… hard work, yes; but the reward is worth it as you take to the stage feeling you were born to be adored!

So, back from the tangent, what IS Tarot??!

Tarot is a handy method for helping you make the right choices, the ones that will lead you where you want to be! Tarot alerts you to stumbling blocks along your way, it helps you recognise pivotal forks in the road and it assists you in decision making. Tarot can show you the most likely outcome of your actions. It can say “if you do this then you’ll likely end up here, but if you choose this option then you’ll stand the best chance of getting here”.

Tarot is an excellent way of getting an overview of a problem which you may be too embroiled in to remain objective in your dealings. It often shows the true motivation of all involved, and highlights character traits which affect the process.

On occasion, there are unavoidable or “fated” events that show up in a reading and these are indicated by the Major Arcana cards. That still doesn’t mean we are players on a cosmic chessboard. We always have Free Will and can choose how we move onwards from that defining event.

Tarot is that guidance we often wish for when we have no idea which way to turn. It’s brilliant for “advice” questions: “How can I find the love I seek?” “How can I feel more secure in my job?”, but not so good for yes/no questions. Do you want to be dependant on us any more than on a universal puppet master?

Don’t look on us Tarot readers as people to tell you what to do, but as guides to help you become empowered as you take control of your destiny. We won’t ever tell you what to do — but we’ll shine light on the twists and turns ahead of you. :)

Originally published in Shadowfae’s Monthly Newsletter.

–Gehenna
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Interview with KT Fanning



This is the first in a series of interviews conducted by Gehenna here on Beyond Within. In this blog I’m asking Kathy Fanning, author of Atlantean Knights
(aff.) a few questions. Having gotten to know each other through use of spiritual, psychic and doomer forums, I feel she has a unique insight which our readers will appreciate.

1. So, Kathy, what’s your take on spirituality? How has this changed as you have gone through life?

I came in knowing I was eternal and part of it all. This has never changed. Rather, my connection to wholeness runs like a subterranean river beneath the wellspring from which I have had to draw strength all through the dark times in my life. Even in deepest despair, that well has never run dry.

I knew by the time I reached 7, the traditional “age of reason”, that religion was just a play on a stage. Useful for those who don’t know any better, but merely an interesting diversion for me, like watching people on the bus. I observed long ago that religion, while attempting to be spiritual, seldom is. Rather, it is a device to control the masses made up mostly of bullshit. That said, I always loved the concept of angels and the role modeling of saints and still do.

2. What spiritual path is the one you least “get”?

Well I “get” them all – and that may be the problem. lol. The one I most loathe is fundamental born again “Christianity”. As far from the teachings of the Christ as you can get. I detest hypocrisy.

3. Give our readers your best piece of advice!

Life is a banquet so live!

Take responsibility for your choices. There are no victims, only bad choices.

It’s not what happens to you but how you choose to respond that counts. This determines the quality of life.
Attitude is everything. Nothing is ever hopeless. If the light hurts your eyes, wear sunglasses, but don’t turn away.

4. If you could go back, what point in your life would you revisit, and what would you tell yourself?

I’ve thought about this many times over the years. While I wish several things in my life had gone differently, I would change nothing because every experience leads to the sum of who and what I am and will become.

That said, I would look at the young man I married and tell myself, “RUN!” I would have stolen the money to take my SATs which my mother wouldn’t give me (because my brother went to college and he’s a bum) so I could go to the Latin American Institute and become an interpreter at the UN and move into that brownstone with the red door down on Second Avenue.

I would have told myself to go to the prom with Johnny Jones instead of Frank Liebhauser. And maybe a couple three other things.

Mostly I would tell the young me that I was beautiful and worthy and wonderful and loved and talented. Because I didn’t know.

5. Share a moment in your life when you realised that existence was more than random coincidence?

There was never a single moment in my life that I ever thought existence was random coincidence.

6. We here at Beyond Within love to spout off on some pretty polarized subjects.. can our readers have your best rant on a subject that really gets you going?

Oh jeez. Can we go back to the forums and pull out one of my raging fuges? I have to be set off. I can say the subject of domestic violence gets me going. Women who don’t prosecute their abusers but go back for more. Four words can make me rant for days – “but I love him.”

Racial or religious or national or economic bigotry can get me raging.

My sister’s lunacy – could fill the Library of Congress with my rants. But I just can’t go off on one for no reason – I have to be provoked.

Abusive bosses and women in offices who abuse their power is another subject which pains me greatly since I am so often on the other end of their tyranny.

Injustice. Big one.

Political ignorance and lack of compassion.

Disrespect of differing opinions.

And oh yeah, if you don’t like my opinion then shut the fuck up. I’ve had it with people who ask my opinion and then attack my answer. Fuck you. (…well said! -Gehenna)

7. Metaphysics has it’s share of wackos, what’s the nuttiest theory you have heard?

Most of the conspiracy theories are wacky. The wackiest metaphysical claim, however, would have to be from my brother’s common law wife, a professed psychic who claims she goes into the mind of an oarfish, connects with dolphin-sonar, and that’s how she gets her readings. She “mind surfs”. Psychic as an acorn.

8. Many believe we are here to learn.. what have you learnt so far?

Shakespeare, Aldous Huxley, Socrates, Louisa May Alcott, L. Frank Baum, Conan Doyle, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Kipling, Dickens, Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Lao Tsu, Gautama Buddha, Wayne Dyer, Francis of Assisi, Therese of Lisieux, Confucius, John, Paul, George and Ringo, Oscar Hammerstein, and a host of others have already written down what I’ve learned much more profoundly than I could ever hope to.

9. I loved your book Atlantean Knights, and I’d love a little insight into it’s conception :)

Atlantean Knights came straight out of a dream. A dream so vivid and visionary that I wrote it down as soon as I woke up. I believe most of that book, although meticulously researched, was a product of karmic memory and channeling. And the dream became Chapter 4. In my writer’s workshop someone might remark that something seemed a bit over the top and I would knee-jerk respond, “But that’s how it WAS!” They often looked at me as if I was a lunatic. Sometimes the guy sharing the couch might move a little away.

Some years later I was grieving the loss of what I had foolishly thought was a relationship. My daughter challenged me to get my head out of my ass, stand up and be who I was, and take a night school course. She reminded me that I was always saying how I wanted to write a book, so prove it. I took her wise teenage advice. It was a read/critique novel writing workshop and I had to have something to read for critiquing so I pulled the memory of the dream out and jotted down a rough first chapter. That was the beginning.

10. Please tell us more about your writing?

Then came Once Over Lightly
(aff). 1973 New Jersey and New York. A book filled with humor as well as some heavy subject matter (shell shock, drug abuse, domestic violence, death, reincarnation). An angel, a talking dog, two ghosts, and some cousins with messed up lives. The soul of a child who could become the first female president of the US and achieve world peace in the name of the world’s children – but who needs a specific couple who are divorcing to conceive her. Can the ghost of her possible grandfather help her seize this destiny? Her prospective mother is his daughter. He has one month, until midnight Halloween night, with only his faithful dog to see and hear him. The ghost of Lincoln Lightly is based on my father, who died when I was 8. The setting is where I lived the first 25 years of my life.

Battle Fox – an historical fantasy in which a Civil War soldier meets a fox spirit woman who changes his life. She marries his best friend, disguises herself as a drummer boy, and joins the regiment. When in her fox form she takes Adam and his two friends to magical worlds woven in the fabric of time.

This one came from a dream also. And that dream is also a chapter in the book. The hero is based on my great grandfather. I walked every battlefield he fought in and followed the trail of his regiment, weaving all I learned about the Billy Yanks, the battles they fought in, and the terrible moment in history called the Civil War into the plot. Battle Fox made the semi finals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel of the Year contest for 2009. If only an agent would represent it!

The White Ship is an historical novel which tells the story of the 12th Century Titanic. I’m still working on this one. Fleshing it out and polishing it up. Turns out the dark ages were not so dark after all, for this was a time of a wonderful cultural renaissance for the fledgling British Empire, full of color and rich achievement. I discovered a fascinating subject in the character of Henry I. The White Ship was the worst maritime disaster of the Middle Ages. Its sinking changed the course of English history. Its parallel circumstances to the Titanic are bizarre and amazing.

Please visit Kathy’s author page, where more information resides about all these books, along with pictures pertaining to each work.

–Gehenna
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Ask Gehenna #1


Editor’s note: while I’m working on the next post in the series on Soul Fragmentation, Gehenna has answered some questions from her mailbag, in the first post of her new Q&A series. Enjoy! –PH

In this blog I’ll be answering some questions from Isaac, a talented indie/folk rock/alternative musician from BC, Canada. You can check out his music here www.boylouie.com; and his tweets here. :)

Isaac has asked me several questions:

1. How do you make your daily vibe predictions and psychic weather reports? What is the process? Do they differ?

Ah, well they both involve a really complex process of tantric meditation, arcane ritual and human sacrifice… haha, I kid.

For the Psi Weathers, I’m looking at long term energy trends; the overriding energies over a two-week period and likely “world events” they can lead to. That, and the overlying theme they cause in our personal lives over that time. These I write up a day or two before the time frame they are intended for. I tune in my internal antenna, I reach forward and try to immerse myself in the coming energies. I pull several cards from my Tarot “work deck” to help visualise what I feel. (I use a plain old Rider-Waite deck for this; although I have several beautiful decks that reflect me much more, they are for personal use.)I also pay attention for insightful nudges from my higher help. I try to predict things to look out for in the media and collective consciousness.

For the daily vibes I draw two cards from the Tarot, for inspiration.. and then I reach for the energies of the coming day and correlate them with the vibes I get from the cards. As it’s a combination of both the nudges from the cards, and the energy signature of the day; even the same cards on two separate days will lead to different interpretations. What I end up with is the daily energies which will affect us on a personal level… and a few ideas of how to make the most of them. I always do each daily vibe a day ahead, I’d hate to “cheat” and write it on the day it’s due ;)

They do differ, in that I see the Daily Vibes as wheels within wheels… the day-to-day subtleties, ebbs and flows within the wider scope given by the Psi Weathers.

2. How did you develop your psychic abilities?

I’ve not actively worked on them, not in a “sit down and do energy work” way …although I do believe they can be developed in each one of us by doing precisely that. Since I was tiny I’ve had my freaky ‘fluence! To me, it is an extra sense. I do actually have synaesthesia also, which is an overlapping of the senses, and heightened senses at that. So, you could say I’m extra-sensual.. *sets up porn spam filter in email inbox*

…and back on topic. I guess being aware of, and not dismissing my 6th sense as bullshit, helped it develop. That and using it every day.. you’d not believe how handy it comes in. Other psychics often pinpoint the start of their abilities to trauma, so it could be that when I was tossed across the front yard as a little ‘un by lightning… that may have unleashed something.

3. Do you astral project or lucid dream regularly? Why or why not?

I spontaneously AP quite often but it’s not something I work at or do by intent, the same goes for lucid dreaming. I tend to sleep in a series of naps rather than regular 8 hours so dreaming is sporadic. As for why I don’t work to perfect it… I’m a busy mom to small girls and between them and Beyond Within there aren’t enough hours in the day! I have to pick and choose quite selectively what I want to spend my time doing, and I enjoy other things aside of metaphysical disciplines. It’s not something I’ve written off practising in the future; it is just currently that my free time is spent on self-work, movies and internet. :)

What advice would you give to a beginner?

Ooooh! I’d say “don’t believe everything you read online”. For every well written and coherent blog on metaphysics there are a thousand full of ill-informed claptrap. Spend some time each day connect with your inner voice, your intuition. Getting to know yourself is the first and soundest step to everything from lucid dreaming to demon killing. ;)

Thank you for the questions Isaac!

–Gehenna

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Ask Gehenna!



Hello!

I’m inviting our readers to submit questions which they’d like to hear my view on. After 18 months of existence, I’m sure you all have a good idea of what Beyond-Within, and both of us are about. If you are new to our site then please take your time to look around; our blog is searchable by category to help you find my few posts. ;)

I write a regular column in a friend’s monthly newsletter, and have answered such questions as “How can I handle empathic overload?”, “Why charge for psychic readings?” and “Your prediction failed…WHY?!?!?”

I’ll be answering the best questions on our blog. Please use the contact page to submit your question, and remember to include your name/alias and relevant website.

–Gehenna

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TV Begone!


It amuses me how emotive the subject of television watching actually is. I’ve been met with reactions from mild bemusement to jaw-dropping shock in response to the fact I do not own a television. “What do you DO???” exclaimed a friend’s mother, “Aren’t you bored?”. One woman even made an excuse to pop round to our house to see for herself!

I’m not militant about my status as a television non-owner; I don’t think tv is inherently evil or that I’m “better than YOU!” I’m writing this blog to share my experiences, thoughts and the benefits I perceive to being free of this ubiquitous device.

I removed the television from our house in January of 2008. My primary motivation was that here in the UK, we have to pay a yearly license fee of £142.50, or risk a hefty fine. I don’t agree with the cost or the requirement of a licence to watch TV, as I believe it to be a tax on television ownership and the thin end of a very big wedge. Along with my satellite subscription, TV was costing me over £40 a month! That’s a big chunk of money for something I barely had time for.

Finances aside, these are my gripes with television:

The cultural impact of television advertising: I don’t like subliminal advertising, or advertising that outright demands that I live a certain way. TV adverts do exactly this, bombarding us with popular lifestyle choices for music, clothing and attitude. Of course adverts are designed to cater to the most profitable demographic; they are driven by revenue.

A by-product of targetting the mainstream is that viewers don’t realise there are alternatives, and so they buy into what advertising tells them without a second thought. They do not question what is presented onscreen. Consequently, there are hordes of people who don’t express themselves, and instead like what they are told to like, believe what they are told to believe and wear what the fashionistas tell them to. They find safety in numbers; non-conformity is seen as something freakish to be mocked, rather than an interesting diversity.

Women (and some men!) make themselves ill trying to emulate the style and looks of bulimic actresses and impossibly-sculpted actors. Adverts hint that we are somehow worthless if we do not conform to their ideals of youth and beauty. One anti-cellulite cream featured the thighs of a twelve year old boy, and shampoo adverts regularly use models with hair extensions.

Television advertising has played a large part in creating a generation where few can think for themselves. *Disclaimer* -not everyone who watches tv is a drooling vegetable.. like with anything else, an awareness of it’s effects and a degree of moderation work wonders.

It’s called television programming for a reason, kids ;)

Television’s use as a “soundtrack for life”: Too many families turn the television on as soon as they wake up, and do not switch it off until the last person reluctantly goes to bed. That’s around sixteen hours of noisy mental bombardment. I do wonder if these people are so afraid of having an original thought that they drown them out in this way.

As an empath it is anathema to me not to have some quiet time each day; to read, to lay and think, or simply to enjoy the silence. The loss of television had a profound effect on my two young daughters; if the “box” was on, I had to fight to gain their attention.. without it’s influence their attention spans increased and they began to engage in creative, imaginative play.

Walks to school became nature trails as they took more and more notice of the world around them, asking questions about creatures we saw; snails, slugs, birds, ladybugs and even the dreaded spider.

The News: Political news is mostly speculation, and by definition mostly imaginary. I find little truth or value in current affairs because of it’s skewed facade.

If news programmes aren’t the easiest way of manipulating the public, then I’m at a loss as to what is! With their doom, gloom and often outright hatred of those on the fringe of society they draw our focus to everything we don’t want in our lives. Plenty of people have an aversion to those who draw welfare benefits. “Cheats!” “Scum!” “Parasites!”.. again copying sentiments they hear on the news. The key word is aversion, aka negative manifestation.

By focusing on something, or on a group of people, by blaming it/them, you bring it into your experience. Public opinion, and thusly experience, is directly related to news stories. The horrific death of a child at the hands of an abuser makes headlines; and for months after our industrious journalists bring us more and more harrowing stories.

The power of the media is truly frightening. (that’s another potential blog!)

One can cut out these downsides and still enjoy some quality entertainment! “Then why throw away your TV?” I hear you ask, “Why not watch what you enjoy and turn it off?”.

Well, I didn’t find the few programmes we enjoyed worth the monthly expense. Along with that.. if you have young children you will be aware of their capacity to nag.”Muuuuuuuuuum, I want to watch Peppa Pig!” would soon become “..and I want to watch this, and that, and that….”. Children aren’t great at moderation and I’m a lousy disciplinarian. Removing the tv was the best choice for us as a family.

Within a week of getting rid of our tv, I had increased energy and clarity of thought. My creativity increased and I felt happier. I worried less about the future, which I believe was down to being news-free. I felt less irritable and stressed and more laid back about life in general. Visitors often commented on the pleasant atmosphere in our house, and that it was lovely to be able to chat unhindered.

When I see television in use outside of the home, I am very aware of it’s presence. I am irritated when I see it used in waiting rooms, shops and even the post office! In these situations it is spouting inane streams of “info-mercial” crap which only seems to put the patients and customers into a benign and glassy-eyed trance.

We still enjoy watching DVDs and streaming videos on the computer; the children appreciate selecting their viewing and see it as just one more form of entertainment rather than a necessary component of existance.

It’s a big leap of faith to make; television is deeply ingrained in our collective psyche and culture. A compromise I’d suggest is buying a cabinet to house your tv. Choose to watch, rather than have it on in the background. To use television consciously is to snap out of it’s control.

–Gehenna

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Overcoming Social Anxiety and Public Neg Interference


Leaving the house has always been a source of apprehension for me. If I’m having a bad ADD day, social interaction can be difficult, and my experiences with elements of gangstalking keep me from totally relaxing in a public environment. While I refuse to give in to fear and become a hermit, some journeys can be mentally exhausting. I’ve come up with a strategy which works well for me, and can be applied by anyone who has issues with agoraphobia, crowds, social phobia and even gangstalking.

Gangstalking, for those unaware of the phenomenon, is a term for situations where a targetted individual is being harrassed over the long term in an organized way. Some cases of gangstalking exhibit elements of negative interference from a non-human source, in that things can happen that can’t be accounted for by regular people acting on their own, no matter how well organized they are. A common scenario is for the targetted individual to be going about their business in public, and be harassed by random people on the street. This is not “normal” harassment however – many targetted individuals have noted that the harassers will be going about their own business as usual, when a very noticeable mask-like change comes over them within seconds. Formerly cheerful seeming individuals suddenly appear unnaturally hateful and angry, and then begin hurling abuse. The abuse itself is interesting in that it will seem specifically tailored to the target’s vulnerabilities for maximum emotional impact – and many times it will go as far as the exact same words being used by completely different and equally random people, in different situations, on different days. My personal experience has been more of the “negative interference” than the “organized human” sort.

Needless to say, gangstalking phenomena can take things like social anxiety to a whole new level. In overcoming this obstacle, first of all I cannot stress enough how much of a difference the simple exercises of grounding and shielding make. I’m highly empathic so crowds, shopping and public transport are major issues for me. Shielding blocks out nearly all of the “babble” and assault on my sensing that I’d get hit with when in large groups of random people, although I’m still alerted to approaching trouble, such as groups of intimidating yobs. Grounding techniques help me when I feel overwhelmed, a common ADD symptom. I also wear an ametrine crystal to help with this.

This still didn’t solve the problems with Random Nasty Bastards. These gangstalking episodes would come literally out of the blue, with perpetrators going out of their way to screw up my day. I expect a few comments; everyone gets unwanted attention at some point, as they walk past a drunk, or gang of builders for example. What I got was far beyond that, to the point where attacks were obviously timed and scripted. I came up with an approach to dealing with the anxiety I felt, while putting a stop to obviously neg-influenced incidents.

Taking my inspiration from “The Secret” aka The Law of Attraction, I make a series of affirmations and visualise positive experiences while I’m getting ready to go out.

“This is my life, and every encounter in it is for my benefit.”
“My sphere of influence contains decent people.”
“I/we will have a pleasant walk.

I get into a good frame of mind before I leave, reasoning I’ll attract good things If I’m not in War Mode. ;) Breathing exercises control my increasingly rare panic attacks, as does grounding the nervous energy.

If I sense an obvious troublemaker is approaching I try to feel pity for them, and their obviously unfulfilling life, rather than getting tense and angry. I walk with confidence and project attitude rather than shield defensively. This works well, and where I’d previously get threats or abuse, they now hurry past sheepishly. Where I’d once felt intimidated I now feel empowered. Groups of mouthy teenagers are now more jokes than jerks. :D

Much of what we attract in any given day is down to ourselves. There will always be incidents that are beyond your control, but you are still responsible for how those incidents affect you. In cases of intentional harassment, your emotional response is often the key to determining whether it happens again. A victim mentality only attracts victimization, but when we stand up to the bullies in our lives, we take back our personal power.

Further reading on the gangstalking phenomenon:
Gangstalking and Hyperdimensional Matrix Attacks
Gangstalking Journal

–Gehenna

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7 Rules for Attracting Your Ideal Romantic Partner



This article details a technique that worked for me, and also for friends who have similar relationship histories.

After 15 years of bad relationships, I realised something had to change and that the only person who could change it was me. I’d just come out of a 10 year marriage which was very unhealthy, and had gone a long way to killing off the remnants of my lousy self-esteem. Without getting too personal: during the course of my marriage I’d not been allowed to express myself, I’d been misrepresented to everyone he knew, I’d been belittled at every opportunity and cheated on constantly.

Poor self-esteem often leads to fear of being alone, which in turn leads to bad relationship choices, which leads to… worse self esteem.

I’d been attracting friendships and partners who exploited weaknesses I had.. and the effects of fixing these issues manifested as each new, decent person who came into my life. To attract quality people it is necessary to work on self-love, and the fear of singledom as concurrent issues.

You can only love another once you love yourself. Here are the seven steps which enabled me to love, and be loved for the first time in my life.

1. Love Your Own Company!

I had been afraid to be alone.. and so had settled for friends and partners I really shouldn’t have.

With one child and another on the way, I knew that the last thing I should do was rush into a new relationship. I didn’t want to be the caricature single mother portrayed by the media; introducing a new “uncle” to my children each saturday night. While this grossly misrepresents the vast majority of single mothers, it did make me re-asses my priorities and start me on one of my best spiritual journeys; that of learning to love myself. I embraced being alone, and with each day that passed I enjoyed it more and more. I felt freer than I had in years… silly things like being able to hold the TV remote, 3am baths, and being able to indulge my pregnant self with whatever food I was craving. I spent one to one time with my eldest daughter, and I spent one to one time with me when she went to bed. I enjoyed learning about myself, and my tastes which had been squashed for so long. I felt empowered by realising I wasn’t the evil harridan I’d been made out to be, but someone who rose above other’s actions and did what I felt to be right without pettyness or spite. I encouraged my children’s relationship with their father and never spoke ill of him infront of them, and while this often wasn’t reciprocated, I felt proud of myself that I wouldn’t be led into playing the role he’d written for me. I realised his cheating said far more about my ex than it did me. While it was happening I’d blamed myself, thinking his unfaithfullness was somehow my fault for not being pretty, or smart, or “insert a thousand equally stupid reasons here” enough. Being alone gave me the time and space I need to realise that the only blame I held was to allow him to continue sleeping around, by not valuing myself enough to expect better treatment.

2. Love Yourself!

Slowly but surely I began to like myself, and faced up to traits I posessed that I found a total turn-off in others; desperation, spinelessness, martyrdom and passive-agressiveness. It was a shock to take responsibility like that, but soon overcoming my own issues became a passion. With each improvement I made, I became happier, assertive and more secure in my own skin. Within six months, and by the time daughter number 2 was born, I had learned to like myself a hell of a lot, and changes were coming thick and fast! I reclaimed my home with new furniture and ornaments. I chatted to men online without feeling I had to tone down or compromise who I am; I’d developed a real “take me as you find me or fuck off” attitude. This becomes especially relevant later in this blog, when it comes to “The List”.

3. Be Yourself!

As previously touched upon, my ex-husband portrayed me in a stereotypical “nagging bitch at home” role, to family, friends and colleagues. I feel that he needed to see me this way in order to indulge his view of himself as the “philandering husband”. One thing I have always vehemently opposed is people assuming things about me, but this rot was too widespread to deal with directly. I refuse to prove myself to anyone, and even more so to an entire social circle of “anyones”!

Instead I focussed on what I was learning about who I am; that I’m not petty, spiteful, vindictive or loud… That I am tolerant, accepting, strong and thoughtful. I embraced these qualities and many more, and saw that the true me was something my ex refused to see. By being true to myself I changed people’s views in a healthier way than emotionally fraught confrontation would have. Less dramatically, I just liked being me!

4.Express Yourself

We were like chalk and cheese, with my ex having very mainstream tastes in music, fashion and film, and me being your typical wierdo. ;)

I found a lot of catharsis in finally stamping my signature on the home; getting out ornaments and candles I’d had tucked away for years and listening to music I enjoy rather than having the TV on as a constant soundtrack to life… with all it’s constant invasive barrage of lifestyle advertising. (That’s another blog!)

5.Appreciate Yourself

People treat you the way you show them you want to be treated. It’s that simple. This is not “Do unto others…” but “Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.” I mentally patted myself on the back over the slightest thing, much as one encourages a child, and, sure enough friends started to let me know they appreciated and respected me.

6.Put Yourself First!

In any triage situation, training dictates that you take care of your own needs before helping others, as a way of ensuring the best outcome all round. I’d learned to say “No!” to any request I felt would lead to me becoming resentful of the asker. This came about because I noticed my life was happier when I felt good, and hell, it’s my life! Life is about personal experience, and I wanted mine to be positive. I gave freely what I felt able to give rather than feel drained of personal resources. To be selfish doesn’t automatically mean “hurting others”… that’s just the popular misconception. Martyrdom isn’t healthy… that’s another blog too. ;)

7.The List

After a year of noticeable improvement, I began to think about what I wanted from life. I was happy living the single life, or single mom life at any rate. I’d realised that I would rather be without a significant other than compromise with someone who was bad for me, and of course my girls. I felt very strongly that loneliness was no excuse for making bad choices. Plus, I wasn’t that lonely- I had a great network of friends!

What prompted The List was numerous advances by men who were clearly The Ex #2. I was no longer someone who suffers fools gladly, and took great delight in telling them so. I knew what I didn’t want… so what did I want? (assuming I was ever prepared to date again!)

I wrote a very specific list of what my ideal man would be personality-wise and yes, looks-wise. I make no apology for this; some may think me shallow, but you can really tell a lot about a person by how they choose to present themselves to the world. What was contained in The List was the recipe for a guy I felt to be truly compatible with me. I won’t bore you with the contents.. all I’ll say is if you try this, I cannot stress enough that I was specific. No “GSOH, SWM” for me. I specified beliefs, musical taste, style, hair, hobbies…After writing this down, I felt empowered. I had recognised my needs and that was a huge breakthrough for me. I swore then that come what may, I’d never settle for Mr Not-Quite-Right. I’d learned to be happy without a partner, and I’d learnt to love myself enough that I felt worthy of the guy I’d described.

The rest is, well, history. :D

–Gehenna

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