Archive for the ‘Emotions’ Category

How to Defy Gravity

…Okay, strapping toast to a cat might be one way, but pending a breakthrough in cat / toast-based propulsion, I’ve come up with another method. Stay with me here.

A friend was recently musing and made a comment along the lines of “why are flashbacks always about the disturbing, negative stuff?”

This got me thinking again on something I’ve wondered myself. Why is it that it’s so seemingly easy to “fall into” negativity, whereas a habitually positive mindset needs to be cultivated, enforced and maintained, often with great discipline? Why do the negative elements of our experience, and our memories, actively draw our attention, while keeping positive takes our deliberate focus and cultivation?

Dealing with persistent negative interference, or even habitually negative people really brings this issue to the forefront, especially if one is sensitive to energy or empathic. It is often noted that negative entities are much more coercive in their approach, whereas our allies more often wait to be called on and engaged, and otherwise use more subtle means of contact. It is thought that this is because one respects free will while the other doesn’t – though I believe that while this may often be the case, this phenomena also has a lot to do with the types of energy we’re dealing with, and their natural properties. While positive influences are simply present, to be found, engaged with, acted upon… or not; negative unhealthy influences seem to exert an active pull on our awareness, our energy, our vibrational state. In an un-disciplined mind, positivity takes effort to maintain – while worries appear seemingly on their own until we learn how to stop. Why is it that if all things are equal and force of will is not being applied, everything seems to default or degrade in the direction of the negative?

And what does any of this have to do with strapping toast to a cat?

After meditating and doing some inner work specifically on this question, the answer I found could be summed up in a word: gravity.

The word “gravity” has two relevant meanings – one can refer to the perceived seriousness of a situation; the other refers to the force of nature that draws one object to another. As is often the case with linguistics, the meanings and origins of words can provide clues about “the way things work” that are known by the collective unconscious, but are not made completely conscious until someone notices the connection. In this case: the same principle that keeps our feet on the ground, also exerts an active pull on our thoughts, energy and emotions.

Many energy-workers can verify that having a high volume of positive energy moving through your system will make you feel like you’re floating. In contrast, having a blob of negative energy or emotion in your gut can feel like something heavy, dense, almost physical, and like it’s pulling the rest of your energy toward itself. “Pulling” is the key word there – negative energy has something akin to a gravitational pull, which typically draws energy and awareness toward itself if equal or greater force is not applied to direct it somewhere else. It’s like comparing a cloud of helium to a ball of lead: the lead has a gravitational pull; the helium does not.

Additionally, the navel chakra, which is in charge of our emotional processing, and also stores a lot of our most emotional memories, is associated with water element, and does indeed behave a lot like a body of water; the material it contains share many of water’s obvious properties. Of course, water doesn’t “decide” where to flow – it is naturally drawn by gravity toward the lowest point unless energy is expended to direct it elsewhere. Likewise, this explains why the attention of an untrained mind is naturally drawn to its traumas, its worries and its current problems, rather than, say, being magnetically drawn to a bright new possible future.

Enough of the high school science refresher course though – what can we DO about this?

Sci-fi geekdom came through with an answer. Anti-grav technology is a permanent fixture in every sci-fi universe; I figured, why can’t it be in mine? Could I make this gravitational effect optional in my internal space with intent?

Houston, we have a solution.

After some experimentation, I was and am very pleased with the results. I meditated with the intent of programming my chakras with the concept that my energy, emotions and awareness are no longer subject to the force of gravity, and almost immediately started seeing the effects I was hoping for.

The “pull” effect from negative and unhealthy influences is greatly diminished, the more that my intent fully sinks into all aspects of my mind and system. The implication of this is that I can set my inner state where I want it and it will stay there, or even move higher on its own momentum, without having to continually put effort into keeping it there and be vigilant that it’s not slipping. I can choose the direction of my thoughts (and by extension, my direction in general) without a bunch of resistance from various sources exerting a drag in other directions not of my choosing.

Without having to specifically devote a constant amount of my energy and effort to “staying positive,” I’m finding that, notably, my creativity and ability to be productive is greatly increasing. With negative influence no longer distorting its content and expending its energy, my subconscious mind seems to have a sense of humor all its own; recently its taken to making up amusing Family Guy style cut-scenes, in response to things people say in conversation. In other words, I’m pretty sure I’ve also accidentally discovered the cure for boredom. :D

Also very much worth noting is the change in experiences with manifestation. Before now if I wanted to manifest a positive outcome, my intent would have to be constantly reinforced so that I wasn’t being pulled off track toward a less preferable outcome between setting the intent and seeing it play out, especially if there was a stretch of time between A and B. Even then, results were not consistent enough to be reliable. Now? I basically only have to define my intent and state how it’s going to play out, and it happens at a rate I’m increasingly coming to rely on.

In normal cases, the practice of “being positive” pits a negative pulling force that often has a mind of its own, against a positive one that feels good, but usually doesn’t actively draw anything to itself. With gravity neutralized, it’s simply a matter of choosing what feels good over what doesn’t. There’s a tough choice… and by “tough” I mean “almost too easy.”

A quick word of caution to those who plan on doing your own experimentation with this principle (and sending me feedback and entertaining stories!): obviously just as if you were going to be without gravity physically, you need to establish your own strong sense of direction and intent, so you don’t just float aimlessly, or worse, send your life circumstances hurtling around randomly with great force like a pinball. That sounds a bit disconcerting I figure, so I wouldn’t recommend it. It is still necessary to break habits such as negativity, worry, emotional drama and taking things too seriously – the difference is without the extra resistance, getting away from those, and anyone trying to maintain them, is a lot less like trying to leave the mafia. ;)

–Palehorse

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Dealing With Disappointment

A friend I’ve known since childhood asked me to write on the subject of “Disappointment”, and how other people offer platitudes that, while well-intended, often make us feel worse.

Let’s start by looking at what disappointment is, so we can figure out how to move on from it. Simply, it is unhappiness with how something has turned out. The issue in question is partly fulfilled, but has a major flaw.

Your current position in life may not meet your teenage aspirations. Prince Charming’s mask slipped to reveal that he is really Captain Bastard. The new job is nowhere near as rewarding as you thought it’d be.

So, you are disappointed. Friends will tell you that “It will get better, suck it up!”, “There are plenty more fish in the sea! Try that guy who likes you (but who you don’t fancy at all)”, or “Make the best of it! At least you have a job!”. They will jolly you along and try to take your mind of your woes.

Don’t forget the Love ‘n’ Light “Gurus” who bully you into plastering on a false smile, being grateful, and generally pretending that you are happy. Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil ..bury your head in the sand and convince yourself life is lovely-jubbly. Lie to yourself, and you won’t care that you are in debt up to your eyeballs!

Wait up! That is not dealing with the problem. It’s settling for less than you want. It is compromising. Do you really want to compromise on the life experiences you are shooting for?

Compromise in this case is a form of martyrdom, where you sacrifice your goals on the say-so of others. So fucking WHAT if “it’s the same for everyone”? That’s just peer pressure. Other people may have given up.. that doesn’t mean you should as well.

Try this instead:

Rather than trying to cover up your disappointment ..embrace it. What is it that is not good enough about the situation? What would it need to be perfect? Refine and script the experience you want. This worked incredibly well for me when I was looking for hot male company ;)

Disappointment can be used as a tool to identify and craft the life you want. A better way to help a friend who is in the doldrums over their circumstances would be to say “hey, you are right to feel that way. I’d be feeling pretty upset too. So what is it you really want?

That will encourage them to open up and focus on what they want, and to get back on to their life path with renewed excitement and enthusiasm for the future.

We all deserve happiness! To gloss over disappointment is to stop striving for the true joy, contentment and love that can be ours. Allow disappointment to express itself so that it may teach you it’s lesson and sharpen your imagination.. because the only limits on your achievements are self-imposed;)

–Gehenna

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Be Proud of Who You Are

Are you ashamed of something.. your financial situation, weight, an illness or disability? How many of you lie to others about those things, or act self-effacing when they come up in conversation? Do you put yourself down because you want to get the jabs in before someone else does?

Why do you feel this way?

There is a lot of hatred and venom aimed people on welfare, at the overweight, at smokers, the mentally ill ..the list is endless. Someone is always hating on someone else, and it is usually because they are “told” to by popular opinion. (That, and fear that they will catch “gay-”, “illegal-”, “goth-” or “pro-choicer-” disease.)

So, where does popular opinion come from? Why from YOU! Popular opinion is the sum “vibe” from all of us. That’s right.. it is your fault again ;)

If you identify with a stigmatised group; if you feel ashamed because of your circumstances or problem then you are fuelling the bad feeling, adding to the hurt other people feel, and increasing the divide… and around we go.

Do you have friends in similar situations to your own? By bad-mouthing yourself, you are insulting them. You may say that you don’t look down on other people, but some part of you must do, to treat yourself in such a shoddy manner.

All the nastiness that comes across in popular opinion (Rawr!! shoot all welfare people!!) starts with us, as individuals. Now, you could say that “I am ashamed because all the papers say….”, but that shows your primary concern is what other people (who haven’t even met YOU) think.

Why are you handing over your power to faceless strangers? ;) Take back control; don’t let those idiots with their ill-informed, media-roused rubbishy sound bites, make you feel less of a person. You are so much more than just the one small part of your life! Let everything you are shine through. Be proud!

We ALL, every single damn one of us, make mistakes. “There but for the grace of God..” and all that. If someone judges you unfavourably because of something you can’t help right this second, then boot them from your life; don’t waste time trying to please an asshole.

Putting an end to intolerance and stigma starts with the individual. Show the same acceptance and love to yourself that you extend to other people. Deal with your own fear, hate and embarrassment.

If you seriously believe all the bullshit you read in the news about how immigrants, single moms and aliens from Jupiter are stealing your tax dollars, seek help.

We all seek to live in a loving world, so do your bit. To quote ourselves here at Beyond within ad nauseum -”Change yourself, change your world” ;)

–Gehenna

Popularity: 60% [?]

It's Okay to Feel Bad!

With so many spiritual websites out there emphasising positivity, it is no wonder so many of us feel like we have failed at life when we wake up feeling less than love-and-light-y.

For those practising the “Law of Attraction” there are dire warnings against negativity, and thus manifesting what you do not want.

Of course, feeling good is important ..but for it’s own sake first and foremost. Changing your life circumstances is the long-term goal, but it should be remembered that happiness comes from within.. your circumstances are the symptom, not the cure.

In my experience, it doesn’t help to plaster on a smiley face and repress your problems.. they are still playing out internally and causing you pain.

Crappy emotions are a sign something is wrong, much like pain indicates an injury to your body. As you would salve your wounds, so you need to address the issues which are causing you emotional pain.

I find that giving the negative emotions a voice; allowing them expression, is cathartic and doesn’t scupper your long-term goals of improving your vibration. To indulge the odd day of unhappiness is to release it from your experience. We are so afraid to be human, and we really shouldn’t be. To deny a part of ourselves only makes it more determined to show up, and play out in a way you have no say in.

If you wake up and feel overwhelmed by sadness, jealousy or anything else that makes you feel less than smiley, try one of these techniques:

Play some music which reflects the emotions you are experiencing.
Draw or doodle your thoughts.
Cry and scream, or punch pillows.

..but most of all, do not beat yourself up for being human!

By practising these techniques you’ll soon realise how much energy it takes to feel bad.. and you’ll learn that letting off steam regularly is healthier for you than bottling it up.

Raising your vibration isn’t about having an unbroken string of joyful and abundant days.. it’s about loving yourself, warts and all ;)

Originally written for, and published in EarthSpirit Tarot’s newsletter.

–Gehenna

Popularity: 60% [?]

Read the FAQ!

I have nothing against religion. I count some pretty devout Christians, Pagans and Thelemites among my friends. I do however hold a beef against people who use their religion like a giant self-righteous hitting stick. If you are going to use Jesus/Pan/Crowley/Cthulhu or Zoroaster as your tag team partner please keep up-to-date with their latest developments ;)

We have a site FAQ. It isn’t there to look pretty. We try and answer as many of your questions as we can so that if you message for help, we aren’t spending our, and your, valuable time explaining who we are and what we stand for.
*I*, Gehenna, yes that’s G-E-H-E-N-N-A, really do not want to spend my work and email time explaining the 20+ years of pop culture and arcane religious references behind the name, that hold a deep enough meaning for me to use it as my online alias. It is there in a simplified form on the FAQ.

If you don’t like our vibe, then don’t read us and don’t buy from us. Simple. We debated long and had a drink or two.. hard about how we should represent ourselves on our site. Did we want to be businesslike? HELL no!

Who we are is important to us. Our testimonials often mention that we come across as people our clients can relate to. I am not willing to compromise my identity for the sake of a sale, nor will I spend hours of back-and-forthing explaining myself to people who cannot be bothered to understand their own religion.

I recently posted an unmoderated blog comment denouncing us as clowns and scammers (written by someone perturbed by my choice of name) on my personal facebook page.

Here are some responses:

SH–good response, not worth taking the time to explain the unexplainable to the ignorant and irrelevant…

SMcB–A lot of people miss the one, main positive of the meaning of Gehenna – Gehenna symbolizes the process of PURIFICATION through fire (whether that be energetic fire, violet flame, etc) People like him just google the word and pick the first few descriptions without actually taking the time to read and understand.

Me-^this. And They also miss the AD&D stuff

SMcB–Hell yeah! Or should I say Gehenna yeah LOL – You can find a few sources for this if you google Gehenna and Purification but there will always be some dork who blocks out the rest and goes straight for for the “hell and damnation” meaning.

One example is the story of TOPHET AND MOLECH IN HINNOM “During the twelve-month period in Gehenna, the soul goes through a process of purification and atonement”

LtG–He probably knows SO little about his own religion that he doesn’t realize gehenna is a REAL place outside Jerusalem and there IS NO HELL. Jews don’t acknowledge one, nor do they acknowledge any devil character.

LW–evil in who’s eyes huh? Lack of understanding ANYTHING is the biggest problem in this world. Too many morons, who know NOTHING with far too much to say on things they will never understand.

………………………………………….

It should be noted that although this person has never bought any of services they would advise you “not to buy from these clowns or you’ll live to regret it“. Consider yourselves warned! *Leers scarily at you*

My advice to anyone curious about us would be to open your minds and leave your preconceptions at the door. Read our site. If you like us as people then it is highly likely we will be happy to work with you. If you feel that we are evil then please google for someone who will be better suited to meet your needs.

A name is just a name. After all, do you think xXxSexy-hot-babe69xXx is really a hot 21yr old?

For the record, I am female, which is pretty obvious if you read the “about us” page. Not “he” as our disgruntled reading-shy friend kept repeating.

*This has been a public service announcement and a free tutorial in using Google search.*

–Gehenna

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The Danger of Pop New Age Doormat Syndrome

Popular self-help guru Steve Pavlina often pops snippets of wisdom on his facebook page, which are often controversial ..but hey, if it touches a nerve, it’s made you think ..at least that is the idea right? Sadly “thinking” is a concept alien to some Seekers, as you’ll find out during the course of this rant blog.

This recent Steve-ism caught my eye: “Saying “I’m done with you” once can be more effective than having to say “I forgive you” a dozen more times.” This is something that I’m definitely with Steve on, and I have written often on ending abusive or other unhealthy relationships, and the importance of not become a martyr.

Forgiveness is a process that I see as meaning you will no longer pay the emotional price for the actions of another; you’ll no longer take responsibility for that person, and you accept the part you played in everything. In some cases it is easy to forgive and continue to enjoy that person’s role in your experience. Sometimes, taking responsibility means no longer allowing that person in your life.

Forgiving another either gives them a second chance, or enables them to continue their bad behaviour. After several kiss and make-ups, or gentleman’s handshakes, if you are still not seeing real change, ask yourself why. Are you forgiving or validating that person? This life is your journey, remember that.. and do not feel guilty for making a hard choice if it ultimately is the best way for you to grow. You are not here to carry anyone else through the entirety of their life.

As anyone on the meta-scene knows, there are “conscious” people… and then there are the “Enlightened” (insert sarcastic quote-y finger gesture). The conscious make an effort to live courageously; aware and responsible for their actions and their own lives and circumstances. Conscious living can be hard at times, as one has to face some pretty uncomfortable truths about oneself.

The “Enlightened”? Whew… in a nutshell, these are the holier-than-thou, sanctimonious, Tolle-fodder spewers. (Now say that ten times :D ) Original thought? Na-uh.. If it doesn’t come from someone who advocates ego-death, putting others before oneself, destroying one’s possessions and turning the proverbial cheek, they don’t wanna know. They parrot the whole “New Age Doormat” waffle like a mantra, as if love, light and blind trust will save their home, wife and kids from the machete-wielding robber/rapists that just broke down the door.

Here is a post I shared with friends after reading this reply on Steve’s “I’m done with you” thread:
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“Some ponce-y glitter-monger: “Should we really throw someone out just because logic permits it? People can change. They might not really want to change their harmful actions now, but maybe in the future they will become more intelligent… For the time being we certainly don’t have to put effort into establishing a connection with those who hurt us, but if we actively get rid of them forever, aren’t we just telling the universe that things we also are capable of make us reject-able as people too? I propose that we trust everyone as much as we safely can. For some people this won’t be much, but I bet if we look hard enough there will always be some common ground. I don’t know about you, but for me I find that if I reject someone completely, I have to constantly justify it to myself and it still seems suboptimal. It also is a loss for me too because then I can no longer learn from the person I have rejected.”

Me:”ffs, what a twat. If you go to a buffet and you know caviare makes you shit runny green water, do you really need to keep tasting it to be “fair to the caviare” and “learn from it”, or do you go, no, I choose to not experience the caviare, bring me some fried mushroom :D

what a friggin idiot, fucking enlightened Doofus!”

..and now some replies from friends of mine:

“Totally agree with you..hope people don’t take his advice…particularly people in abusive relationships…it’s just dreadful.” -SF

“I bet he has guilt-wanks, srsly, it must be guilt, guilt all the time. fucking holy hell.”-Me again ;)

”New Age= let your demons fester and thrive in the silence of your denial, open yourself up to be completely trodden on (for experience of course), and only wear clothes you think Ashtar would approve of.”-SM

”That is just way wrong. Sometimes you get people in your life that are just so toxic that the only way to free yourself from their damaging energy and actions is to totally cut ties! This ignoramus is just enabling people who won’t let go off a bad relationship they NEED to get out of and away from.”-SMcB

“Fuck light workers, Im off to eat kittens with georgie.”-SM

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This is a dangerous bit of advice to give to someone in a bad relationship. It encourages the guilt and lack of self-worth that they are already wrestling with, and it tells them they are wrong if they don’t say “enough”. The Pop-New-Age denial, pretence and martyrdom mindset is about glossing over and hiding real problems.. problems that can be fixed by living consciously. Facing your demons in cold, stark truth, allows you to grow, thrive and learn about yourself, far, far more than keeping an asshole around in the hope that they might change.

Your duty is to yourself, no other. You can only support someone while they do the work they need to do. Thinking you can change another is a fallacy of co-dependence. Right up there along with the thinking that sacrificing yourself makes you a better person and that you are somehow needed. I choose to be with someone who wants me and it is much nicer than being needed, I assure you ;)

The “Enlightened” have chosen a label that they try to make fit. It is somehow noble to be “Enlightened”, a paragon of virtue and goodness far, far removed from any sense of what it means to be human. They practise a “speak/hear/see no evil” mindset which is blind to reality. If your goal is to play your part in bringing a better world for everyone, then surely being in no doubt as to what needs changing would be a good idea? Ya think? Where do the “Enlightened” get these ostrich/masochist ideas from?

Why, that’d be Eckhart Tolle again.. he’s Oprah Winfrey’s “man of the hour”. His influence spreads like a horrible, horrible disease. He’s a peddler of the worst kind of crap I’ve had the misfortune to read.. oh yes, I’ve read his bunkum. It is just another religion that people run to for answers and instead of taking what works, and throwing out what does not (like we encourage you to do on this site), and understanding what they’ve read, they just spew out soundbites in the vain hope that fluff, glitter and whimpering spinelessness will solve their problems. “I’m good now!” cringe, cringe, “Universe give me $1,000,000!”

Killing the ego, in my mind, is as wrong as cutting off any well-functioning body part. It is just stupid. It makes a mockery of some really good New Age practices, and twists the original intent of a new age of love and peace into something that teaches us to be mindless automatons. The above quote from the enlightened doofus is the sort of stuff that is vomited verbatim from Tolle-followers.

The ego is the interface by which we experience life, and how we know what we want more of, and what we want less of. It’s how we express ourselves as people. Take away the ego and you lose wonderful diversity, and instead replace is with a block of tasteless, unremarkable plankton. Nice. If ego-death happens naturally as we shuffle off the mortal coil then what the HELL is to be achieved by murdering it now? Why not just… enjoy life?

Our very own Palehorse, and Mr Pavlina both have excellent blog posts on the subject of Ego, which make their arguments far more eloquently and completey than I ever could. Kudos guys! I’d also recommend a re-read of Palehorse’s excellent article “10 Reasons I’m not a Lightworker” which describes some of the bad side of being “good”.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m into love, freedom, wisdom and understanding.. just not at the expense of myself, or my family. I’ll help you, if you show willing to help yourself. Sure, we all need a hand up from time to time. We all need to to lean on someone. We all make mistakes and need the slate wiped clean. Just… know the difference between a problem to work together on and overcome, and something that is gonna be a never-ending thorn in your side.

Sometimes the best way to help other people is to let them go… and the best way to help yourself is to say “No.” You regain your personal power by taking the initiative to end an unhealthy relationship. By never being willing to cut anyone from your life you are handing your own power over to them. By being a slave to guilt, you do the same.

People come into our lives for a day, for a season, or for years. We can learn from their departure as much as from their presence. “What if?” Is a path that you’ll never be able to fully explore, and guilting yourself with it will drive you mad. Why live your life in a constant state of second-guessing and questioning your actions? Trust yourself! Maybe that lack of self-trust is reflected in the actions of others. As we say here at Beyond Within.. “Change yourself..change your world”! ;)

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Dynamite Your Limitations!



Today I’m going to share a method for blowing through blocks, demolishing limitations and clearing out internal debris that I have been getting a LOT of great use out of.

Many personal development techniques involve things like repeating endless affirmations to implant an idea in one’s subconscious mind. Others recommend passive forms of meditation that, over years, possibly lifetimes, cause the mind and personality to integrate on their own. While these techniques will work to affect change, eventually — in the meantime you’ve still got all your old habits, blocks and fears, limiting your ability to fulfill your potential. If you picture one of those blocks as a brick wall, passive meditation techniques could be likened to removing it with wind and water erosion. Repeating affirmations takes time not only to gain access to the wall, but could be likened to replacing it with another structure, by hand, brick by brick. Technically effective, but very time consuming.

To each his own — but when I’ve got a wall in front of me, and I need it gone, I’d much prefer to pull out a sledgehammer and do some smashy-smashy. :D

One of the reasons I love symbolism and metaphor so much, is that they are the language of the subconscious mind. Since the subconscious is arguably the foundation of how we experience our lives, where much of our experience is created even, learning to speak its language is a powerful tool for those who want to be conscious, deliberate cocreators of their experience. To this end I have found that if I can frame an issue in symbolic language, and then interact with those symbols in meditation — they are often found to exist as literal energetic constructs that are performing some function in my system, for better or worse. These structures are often the result of long-held beliefs, faulty coping mechanisms, and reactionary defensiveness. Adopting healthier beliefs and habits certainly helps — but if they ever make a dent in those subconscious structures, it will be a very gradual process; meanwhile the structures themselves continue to carry out their old function until they’re completely removed. The following technique is used to quickly and directly remove structures in your subconscious and energy that aren’t serving your best interest, including but not limited to fears, anxiety, bad habits, bad coping mechanisms, habitual negativity and faulty belief structures.

The Technique

If you have a favorite meditation technique, do that. If not, do some stretches, get comfortable and clear your mind as best you can while taking ten or more deep breaths.

When ready, with eyes closed, mentally ask to see the structure representing the issue, beliefs or pattern you’d like to remove, being as specific as you can. Picture it as a building, though if a structure appears in your mind’s eye on its own, go with that.

Demolish the structure. My usual method involves rolling explosives in through the door like a bowling ball, and pressing down on a somewhat cartoonish detonator. :P Feel all these actions as well as you’re able, as if you were really there. Don’t just picture it; DO it, mentally. Push the proverbial “red button”; hear and feel the blast; see the structure reduced to rubble. Feel the sudden release and clarity it left behind.

Now imagine yourself driving a bulldozer, and push the rubble into a pit of violet flame, so that there’s now a clean flat surface where the building once stood.

After you remove an old structure, you may want to leave it at that, or you may want to put something better in its place. If you’d like to implant a new belief, suggestion or operating procedure, I recommend the technique for changing beliefs at their root I posted on previously.

Explanation and My Experiences

The significance of most of the symbols should be pretty clear — you symbolize the issue in question in a way the subconscious mind understands, and send a clear message that you want it gone, removing any associated energetic structures in the process. The reason I use violet flame is that violet flame is a type of energy most commonly associated with spiritual alchemy. The significance of using it in this exercise is that any part of the debris that isn’t in your best interest is either burned away or transmuted into something beneficial, and anything worth keeping is left for future use.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel like you’re great at visualizing. I’m not great at visuals myself — most of my visualizations are more like a series of brief snapshots than a continuous movie, and a lot of what I do is more by feel and intent in a more abstract sense, than literal sight. It’s something I’m working on, but for the sake of effectiveness with this exercise it doesn’t seem to make much difference either way. I also don’t worry too much about physical realism — i.e. rolling some dynamite in through a door wouldn’t make for a neat, well controlled demolition in the real world, but my imagination doesn’t seem to care. ;) The key is the symbolism and a strong intent; those two things are much more important than the actual form used, or the ability to hold the visuals. In fact, I would encourage you to tweak it and make it your own; make it fun for yourself.

I have used this technique numerous times to great effect. The first major issue I tackled had to do with a low level, almost constant anxiety I had identified causing problems in my system, and creating a lot more nagging resistance than I wanted to deal with in the average day. With a combination of tarot readings by Gehenna for insight into the problem, the dynamite technique, belief reprogramming and energy healing afterward, I was able to uncover that the anxiety actually had multiple causes, remove the related structures, put something better in their place and heal a lot of old wounds as if they’d never been there. Over a period of a few weeks, I was able to completely eliminate a huge amount of anxiety and tension from my system. This has vastly improved my overall quality of life, as well as my focus, ability to meditate, and my productivity in an average day.

The second major problem I solved was a massive structure blocking my heart chakra’s ability to fully function. In my last post I described negative beliefs as mercenaries, hired to build a fortress around one’s heart chakra. I found this to be a very accurate description of what was actually going on in mine. This subject may actually be worth expanding on in a future post because I believe that the majority of people who have not done deliberate internal work probably have their heart chakras blocked off to some degree. For now, suffice to say that during a time in my life when I was more vulnerable and less able to address conflict (and deliberate negative interference) in a way that was healthy for myself, I unknowingly built a massive wall around what I would identify as my feminine aspect — the more intuitive part that feels, reaches out, draws others in, and forms meaningful connections.

Interestingly, this came out when I asked to see any structures preventing my attempts to get better at spirit communication. I was shown a massive fortress, which I thought was probably blocking my crown chakra. Normally my ability to “see” these things is limited to brief flashes without much detail. This one though, was extremely vivid and well formed. If it was any more well formed, I’d probably be living in it. I could see the grains of sand in the mortar between the stones, it was that vivid. I took this to mean it had been there for a long time, and a lot of “work” had gone into forming it. I did my usual dynamiting routine — and clearly saw that it only took a small chunk out of the structure. Well… shit. :P So I walked around it (again underscoring how BIG this thing was), placing dynamite every few feet. That got ‘er down. ;) When I went to bulldoze the rubble, I could actually feel the bulldozer straining against these huge blocks of stone — pretty crazy. It wasn’t until after I removed this structure though, that I found out it hadn’t been in my crown chakra as I’d thought. In reality, I was now face to face with a now very exposed, and very upset, part of my heart chakra, that hadn’t seen the light of day in two decades. Long story short, after two days of sessions spent dialoguing with this aspect, getting it updated, comforted and apologizing for bad coping mechanisms, I made peace and got it integrated. The difference in my heart chakra was nothing short of stunning — it was more open, functional and “connecty” than I’ve ever known it to be.

At this point it’s worth noting that while I wish everyone could experience the enormous benefits of a fully open and functional heart chakra, it’s important to make sure you’re in a supportive (or at least not actively abusive) environment before doing work of this nature. The unblocked aspects will likely be the source of stored pain, and I’ll be honest, it’s not going to be pleasant until they’re fully integrated. Those aspects will also be very vulnerable, so I would strongly suggest not doing so if you’re in an abusive situation or overly negative environment. Ideally you would have someone on hand willing and able to give any emotional support, feedback and help with self-monitoring that is needed, especially when dealing with issues of past trauma. In those cases, the supervision of a qualified hypnotherapist or mental health professional may be advisable. Energy healing has also shown itself to be extremely helpful in the reintegration process. With that said, I’ll address some common questions I’ve been encountering about the dynamite technique.

Common Questions

What if I destroy something I probably shouldn’t?

It doesn’t really work that way. The way I understand it is that there are two kinds of internal structures. One is based on beliefs, entrenched habits, socialization, fears — all unproven “stuff” that gets piled on top of your true identity over the course of your life, distorting your perception of reality, and acting as an obstacle on the path of self-knowledge. The other kind is based on knowledge and personal experience — I use the term “gnosis.” You couldn’t demolish something you KNOW to be true if you wanted to — because you’ve experienced it firsthand. If you recognize that a structure is causing you to fear, or limit yourself, then you already know you’d be better off without it — this is just a symbolic way of letting your subconscious know “I want this gone, and gone yesterday.” Remember that you’re not working physically here, you’re working with symbols and intent — so it’s not like you’re going to aim at one structure, accidentally knock down another and find yourself convinced you’re a duck. :P

What if I don’t know all the specifics of what I’m demolishing?

I wondered this myself, but it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference whether you have full conscious knowledge or memory of the structure, its origin, history and everything it’s currently doing. I’ve used it on structures where I did have all this info, and I’ve done it with some where I didn’t have much more information than “there’s something in my system causing me anxiety”; in which case I simply said “show me the structure relating to this anxiety response.” In all cases its been about equally effective. Sometimes the instances where I have little info to go on are actually more fun, because I’ve had a lot of pleasant surprises; positive changes I could not have anticipated. That said, Gehenna’s readings were a tremendous help to me in gaining insight on what to target for maximum benefit. There was a period of a few weeks where this allowed me to zero in on and plow through a lot of major stuff in a short period; bam, bam, bam. So, consider that a recommendation for anyone who wants some clarity and insight before you start breaking stuff. :P

Is this an instant cure-all that will remove all my problems?

No. If anything it should be thought of as a way to get rid of entrenched resistance… but you still need to replace the old structure with better habits and knowledge gained from experience. Think of a bad habit as a thread that has looped around your legs, over and over, for a period of years, and your goal as something in the distance that you’re trying to walk toward. The structures that are removed by this technique are like the thread — it’ll be a LOT easier to achieve your goals with that resistance gone, but you’ve still got some walking to do. Without actively planning a course that’s different from the one you used to be on, and moving toward something better, you risk simply building another structure just like the one you got rid of. You can blow through the entrenched patterns that give you an overwhelming compulsion to procrastinate for instance — but for practical purposes, you still need to stop procrastinating.

WARNING: I’m not kidding when I say this technique will make changes in your system in a very fast and direct way. Fast changes can be disorienting, and cause symptoms of heavy clearing. This can mean a sense of “emptiness” or mental discomfort as your system adapts to operating without the former structure — like reaching for a security blanket that isn’t there anymore. It can also cause physical symptoms, much like detoxing the body can cause temporary physical discomfort. One should take it very literally that you’re getting rid of a structure, possibly one held for many years, and leaving nothing in its place. This should not be taken lightly. So if you plan on trying it, I’d strongly recommend experimenting with caution to start out, being very sure and specific about what you want gone, and not doing this with too many issues in too short a period. Treat it with the same respect you would physical explosives.

This exercise is not recommended for people with a history of mental illness, those in an emotionally vulnerable state, or especially fragile physical health. If you have ANY doubts about your ability to handle the effects of this exercise, please consult your doctor beforehand.

When I first came up with this technique, I got a little too excited about how effective it was, and did a lot of it at once. Bad idea. I was doing a major structure or two a day on average, and it went a bit like… “yay it’s working! Yay it’s working!” (Day 5 or so) “Ohhh crap it’s working a little too well, what did I doooo. *falls over*” :P I ended up completely drained energetically, mentally scattered, emotionally out of whack, nearly sick, and had to stop all inner work for about another week and a half until my system reorganized and recovered. For anyone who wants to try the technique, I would strongly recommend using it on ONE structure, and waiting for a minimum of three days to see how your system responds before going ahead with more. Since personal responsibility is one of the major themes of this site, I respect my readers enough to offer this information with the understanding that those who choose to apply it do so at their own discretion. Listen to your body, use common sense and find the pace that works best for you.

Be safe, have fun and by all means share your experiences with us! :)

–Palehorse

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Love Vs. Control


Today’s rant topic has been on my “list of things to write about” for a while, but I recently came across something that pissed me off enough to bump it to the front of the line. :P I stumbled upon an article written from an evangelical Christian viewpoint — and call it masochism (and you’d probably be right) but I couldn’t stop reading. An excerpt:

A selfish person will desire control over others to use them for personal benefit; an altruistic person will desire such to improve them out of love.

The really ironic thing is that the article is subtitled “The Dark Side of the Soul,” since this false dichotomy illustrates two beliefs that are equally based in the dark side of the ego and its need for control.

The idea of equating love with control is as prevalent as it is toxic. The concept is ultimately rooted in a coercive view of divine power (a fallacy I also addressed here). In philosophical circles this is known as the “Divine Command Theory” of ethics — you do what God says, not because what God says has merit in itself, but because he is bigger than you and may light you on fire if you don’t (rough paraphrase there :P ). Since we typically become like the Gods in which we put our faith, this leads to a glorification of coercive control in the way we relate to other people.

Even people who don’t hold this (or any) particular view of God can nonetheless fall into the trap of seeking to control and manipulate others “for their own good,” and equating this with love. In reality this approach is rooted solely in fear. Fear of loss; fear of change; insecurity in one’s beliefs about how the world is or should be. On the other side of the equation are those who enter a relationship with the attitude that love is based on how much of themselves they give up for the other person’s benefit. Both are equally misguided and soul-destroying.

When you plant a seed, do you tell it how to grow? Micromanage its growth? Force it to grow how you want? No; that approach would probably kill it. Rather, you give it what it needs to flourish, and it does the rest. The truth as I have come to see it is that each soul is in this life for its own reasons. I may be able to help you remember what your reasons are, but if I try and force you to accept some version of what I think they should be, then I am nothing more than an obstacle on your path. Upon encountering situations like this, my advice would be to run. Quickly.

Love, and any attempt to control another person against their will for any reason, are mutually exclusive. In reality control is a subtle form of theft. Your free will is in a sense your own posession — the free will of others is not. If any one of your relationships is based on anything real and genuine, then exerting control over it is both unnecessary and detrimental. Conversely, if you have to control or manipulate someone into aligning with your will, you’re actually stealing something that isn’t yours to begin with from that person as well as the universe. You’re conning them out of their time, energy, resources, whatever, and also depriving someone who could accept those resources in an honest, voluntary and mutually beneficial way.

For those who habitually engage in control and manipulation of the people in their lives, the price is often quite high. They depend on the ignorance and relinquishing of personal power of their subjects in order to perpetuate these relationships. The need for control is never secure or satisfied however, and the inevitable result is that they push a little too far, inadvertently awaken their hostage’s need for spiritual and emotional independence, and thus the house of cards they have built up around themselves falls apart very quickly, leaving them with nothing.

The exceptions to this are situations where one voluntarily consents to give up control to another person on a temporary basis with the goal of regaining one’s own foundation. I would place kids in this category as I believe in pre-incarnative agreements, but in any case obviously young children need someone to establish healthy boundaries, ideally as a way of teaching them how to establish their own. Another example that comes to mind is a friend of mine whose life at one point years ago, was on a downward spiral of addiction, lying and stealing. His parents and older sister agreed to have him move in with her, on the condition that his choice was to have her run his life like a military dictatorship while he was there, or he would be turned out on the street. Today his take on all this is “y’know, I’m still not sure I like [my sister] very much, but what can I say, she did get me turned around.” In cases like this, the individual has already relinquished control over their free will, so there are times when “tough love” from someone willing to hang onto it for them until (and only until) they are capable of reclaiming it for themselves, is appropriate. The challenge there for both parties though, is to not enter into a cycle of dependency where the enforced control lasts longer than it needs to. Fortunately today my friend is living on his own and doing very well for himself. All of this serves to illustrate that for those who are in a position of authority over others, ideally the goal should always be for the subjects of control to to find their own sense of personal power and authority.

The distinctions I’ve laid out here can be applied to one’s spiritual evolution, and all the way up to the divine level. As we evolve spiritually, the need for control, whether over other people or circumstances, decreases, in favor of control over the self. Control of the self, our thoughts, words and actions, is the one form of control that is possible and well worth cultivating. It is here that the only real forms of security and personal freedom are found, as is the desire to help others find their own truth and freedom.

The highest form of love seeks to encourage, preserve and protect free will, not to subvert or destroy it.

–Palehorse

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Taking Out the Trash: a Technique for Stress Relief

This is a technique that I use to deal with the stresses and frustrations of life. With two daughters under the age of four, I have to be creative with my time when it comes to personal development. Hour-long mediation sessions communing with helper entities to solve life’s woes are a rare luxury ;) , as is extensive energy work.

My eldest goes to a local pre-school, a short walk from our house, and around a twenty minute round trip. Before we leave, I write a few words to describe any worries and stresses I have on a piece of paper, and crumple it into a ball which I then place in my coat pocket. As we walk to school I imagine each step is taking me further from the worries, and I imagine the stressy feelings being soaked up by the ball of paper. It feels like an energy flow from my chest to the paper. As it doesn’t demand all my attention, Im still able to enjoy chatting with my daughters. As we reach the school, I drop the paper ball in a bin, imagining it heavy with negative feelings. As I walk home with the baby, I feel lighter. Doing this exercise on the morning run to school leaves me feeling great for the rest of the day. I believe it is good to encourage children to do simple metaphysical visualisations; for example sending healing energy to a sick relative or manifesting a new house for Barbie. The “disposable stress ball” is an easy way to encourage children to deal with stress in a positive way, and an undemanding and natural way of keeping cool for busy grown-ups. :)

–Gehenna

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Lifelong Problems of Unknown Origin Solved by Implant Removal

I. Negative Entities and Etheric Implants: An Introduction
II. The Blocking and Unblocking of my Crown Chakra
III. Hypercube In My Belly
IV. Heart Chakra Implant and a Retaliation Strike
V. Etheric Implant Causing Physical Problems
VI. Did I Swallow a Manhole Cover?
VII. Lifelong Problems of Unknown Origin Solved by Implant Removal
VIII. Negative Entities and Etheric Implants: Conclusion

There have been a lot of major positive changes since doing this work, that I’m not entirely sure about the direct cause of, but they have me elated enough that they’re worth devoting a post to. The first half of this post may read like a bit of a downer, or even like I’m complaining — that isn’t really the case. This is all in hindsight now, but I have to describe what things were actually like in order to show the contrast of how they’ve improved since finding and removing the true cause of the issues. Ideally someone with similar issues would see some of themselves in this article, and gain ideas on how to help themselves as I have. Then again, I never intended for this to be your average personal development blog, where I, the Grand Poobah of All Things Wonderful™, tell you how to reach my pinnacle of awesomeness — I’m still learning, I struggle with things, and I believe it’s more honest to portray the struggle along with the success. So onward we go…

I won’t sugarcoat this one — I believe my ability to give and receive love, relate to others, and process emotion, was severely fucked with from as far back into childhood as I can remember. At this point I do want to make clear that I had an average, American middle class, relatively happy childhood, and good supportive parents who I still maintain a positive relationship with (which may be one of the reasons I haven’t gone completely off the deep end by now). But at some point, something changed. The reasons I believe these issues were deliberately caused and not, say, an issue of mental illness, are 1. because I can remember very early on (like preschool age) being a lot better at managing emotions and making friends than the point things eventually reached, which doesn’t make sense without some sort of intervening event. And 2. because all the internal work I’ve done, and now all the discoveries and removal of implants with Gehenna, has solved the problems as if they never were — often shockingly quickly.

At some point in early childhood, I seem to have lost a lot of things that are supposed to be normal parts of the human experience. In short, I had to relearn, from scratch, something it seems like most people know innately — connections and time spent with others are good in and of themselves. Some examples that come to mind: in 1st grade someone gave me one of those “friendship bracelets” kids gave each other in the 80s. My only thought was “I’m a boy, boy’s don’t wear bracelets” — no concept of the intent behind it. Around the same time I remember a friend’s mom wanting to take us to see Snow White in the theaters — my response was “why? I have the book…” — no concept of going out with friends being a good thing. Something was causing me to push others away and close myself down in a way I don’t believe was at all natural, and by the time I figured out that this wasn’t a good way to live, I was too ingrained into these patterns to know where to begin trying to undo them.

I had nonetheless come a long way on this front by high school, mostly by observing others and trial and error, but I was still pretty much a mess socially and emotionally. Very much cut off from other people, and parts of myself as well. I spent years wrestling with the question of whether being separate from others in this way was just part of my basic nature that I would have to accept. In hindsight I believe someone or something was trying to pass off a lot of false stuff as true aspects of myself, and that if let go long enough, that would have integrated into my actual nature. I believe this to be the case especially after reading accounts of other metaphysically inclined people being isolated in eerily similar ways.

When the blocking of my emotional processing wasn’t keeping me isolated, I believe it also allowed the wrong kind of people to come into my life. Knowing on some level that I should have some sort of companionship, I’d end up with people around me who would take full advantage of my inability to sense how toxic they were. It would take me so long to process a reaction and figure out how to feel about what should’ve been obvious mistreatment, that by the time I’d realize the need to distance myself from such people, a lot of damage had been done. I’ve gotten a lot better at this and can now sense pretty quickly whether there are red flags with a person or situation, and have also done a lot of emotional clearing — but to this day, it’s not uncommon for Gehenna (who is, admittedly, the strongest empath I’ve ever met) to sense that I’m in a crappy mood, or have fallen into a funk, like 20 minutes before I do. “You don’t feel right.” “I dunno, I feel okay.” [20 minutes later] “Damn, I don’t feel right.” “See? SEE?!” It’s creepy I tells ye! :P

Speaking of the metaphysical, based on things I’ve heard from my parents, my natural abilities may have been tampered with as well. Apparently when I was very young I used to pop out with stories of conversations with dead relatives that I had never met, or even known about, though I have no memory of this myself and am not able to do anything like this now (yet?), even though I’ve been focused on developing whatever abilities I have for several years. When I first felt drawn to spirituality and metaphysics in my later teenage years, I processed things completely in a logical/intellectual way. It took several more years before I was able to be convinced that there were other ways to take in and process information. Though, oddly, something kept drawing me back to those subjects even though at the time it was more of a curiosity than anything I was actively practicing. This is another instance of having very limiting beliefs and strong mental blocks with no known origin — my parents have always been spiritual, accepting and reasonably open-minded; today I’m able to talk to them openly about most of the stuff I’m into.

In addition to the above, all my life I’ve had what I’d assumed before were neurological problems. I couldn’t focus. I’d get overloaded easily. I had no sense of direction at all. I would sometimes get disoriented. I had visual processing issues; scanning an entire scene I’d miss important information, and what I did take in would be misinterpreted. As with the other problems I’ve talked about in this series, I asked doctors for input, and was told there was nothing I could do but adapt.

As you could imagine, all of this really came into play when I tried to learn how to drive. When getting in the car, these issues even seemed to increase. For instance, I had a complete inability to remember how to get places — even places I had been many times. I would try to pay attention to streets and where I was going when other people drove, but after about thirty seconds of this, a few minutes later I’d realize that I somehow blanked out, a bunch of turns had been made and I now had no idea how we got there. I often said (without knowing anything about entities or implants) that it was like someone took a checklist of all the basic skills you need to drive, and in me they were all damaged or missing. It didn’t help that every time I’d arrange to practice driving with someone, plans would mysteriously fall through. When I arranged to practice with my then-girlfriend, her parents switched her insurance the day before so nobody else could drive her car. When I arranged to practice with a friend, there was an accident that wrecked that car the day beforehand (though thankfully no one was hurt). When I started planning to practice with a family member, I would come in ready to go, only to find them hammered drunk — relapsed alcoholism after several years of sobriety. I could go on with many, many similar instances, but long story short after eight years of this I finally managed to obtain a license and a car, and do well enough to get by with the help of a GPS system… though I was never what one would consider “functional” with it. Unfortunately in southern California where I grew up, it’s very difficult to get by without driving, and my social life was what suffered the most. I was becoming more isolated than I’d ever been, and between work, school, and trying to figure out how to work out my transportation woes, trying to rebuild my social life took a backseat.

Fast forward to my trip back to soCal for the holidays this year — where there was a major breakthrough. I’m pretty sure the breakthrough happened long before that, but since I can function perfectly well without needing to drive here in the UK, I wouldn’t have noticed. I went out a lot with my brother — and at some point realized I was remembering routes and directions without even trying to focus on them! It was as if some sort of internal compass I never had use of before had suddenly flipped on. He got lost twice — and I’m the one who managed to navigate us home. I felt like I could’ve easily driven myself, and had it feel natural. It’s hard to describe how this felt after a lifetime of not having these basic skills, but it felt very much like I was suddenly functioning “normally” after years of having those natural abilities surpressed to the point where I thought I just didn’t have them at all. Wow.

In my next post I’ll finish out this series with some final thoughts, insights I’ve gained, further reading, and some simple methods I’ve learned for dealing with implants and neg phenomena for those who don’t necessarily have well developed psychic senses.

If you identify with any of the information found in this article, please note that we offer energy body scans, etheric implant removal and other services on our energy healing page.

–Palehorse

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