2008 March | Beyond Within

Archive for March, 2008

Relinquishing Control

Posted by Palehorse - Saturday, March 29th, 2008

Today I’ve had an epiphany. A fellow member of a forum I participate on recently wrote a wonderful post on meditation. The point was that meditation is not somethin you do; it is something that happens when you are simply observing, rather than controlling, your experience. The mind will object that it wants a “technique” to make itself feel useful, but there IS no technique. That’s the point.

This is one of those times where I’ve probably heard or read this concept dozens of times, put many different ways, but today something finally clicked. I know my mind has certainly taken to violent protest against this concept of “not-doing.” It occurs to me that while I’ve never had a need or desire to control other people, for various reasons the need to be in control of me at all times has been almost militant. In many ways its been a good thing. With all the medical stuff I had going on when I was younger, not being in control of what happened to me became an ingrained subconscious pattern. Follow that up with a string of controlling and manipulative people in my life, more run-ins with negative entities than I like to think about, and even the typical societal influences that want to tell us who to be, what to think and how to live… and I’ve had to go through a long process of figuring out how to take back control of all aspects of myself. All told, I’m very pleased with my progress.

Unfortunately, psychologically speaking there’s a very human tendency to take a coping mechanism that works well in some situations, and apply it to ALL situations. My tendency is to feel that if I’m not in full control and taking direct action, I’m not accomplishing anything. On an intellectual level I know this is false, since many of the best things in my life seemed to come to me in ways that were seemingly unrelated (or even in spite of) any effort on my part. Obviously there are times when it’s beneficial to “get myself out of the way” and allow things to take their course without trying to micromanage. All the same, for me this mentality of iron fisted self-control has extended to areas where it’s not so productive, like meditation and manifestation. I’ve realized that what I do when I meditate is a lot like what I do when I shield — I found out that I could hold up a sort of mental barrier against straying thoughts, and set part of myself to maintain it while the rest blanks out. And sure, I can maintain a blank mind for a long time now, but it’s not very relaxed, and it’s very difficult for me to reach any deeper trance states required for more specialized exploration.

So it would seem now that I’ve learned how to be in control, the next step is to learn how to deliberately relinquish the need for control when it’s beneficial to do so. Something tells me this has been the biggest sticking point in my efforts to meditate, astral project, deliberately manifest good people and circumstances in my life, as well as recent efforts to establish a more reliable connection with my higher self (or any other source of higher help and guidance that’s interested, really). I’m sure whatever comes of this will find its way into future posts, but hopefully this one has brought some insight to anyone with similar struggles.

–Palehorse

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Tags: astral projection, higher self, Law of Attraction, meditation, not-doing, relinquishing, self mastery
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Thoughts on Self Healing

Posted by Palehorse - Saturday, March 29th, 2008

One of my biggest interests has long been the mind-body connection, specifically as far as it relates to self-healing. It’s something I’ve theorized about and experimented with quite a bit, often with good results. Yesterday I talked about an early experience where I meditated and sent my intentions into a glass of water, which I then drank. I also made the point that if water is able to record and respond to intent, and our bodies are largely made up of the stuff, then there should be major implications for our physical healing. Another early experience seems to illustrate that this is indeed the case.

One evening a few years back, I cut my lip shaving. And for whatever reason, it would not. Stop. BLEEDING. For four hours. It kept soaking through bandaids, toilet paper and whatever else I put over it, and putting pressure on it would only stop it while the pressure was applied. I had to miss class that night, because I couldn’t very well go in looking like I had tried to make out with a piranha. Besides, if there were any vampires hanging around, I’d only make myself a target, and we just couldn’t have THAT. Err… Ahem.

At some point I came up with an impulse I wished I would’ve had a few hours earlier. I bounced some energy around the site of my battle wound until I felt it tingling, and then tried to heal the spot with a technique I came up with on the fly. For a visual I used, of all things, the rapid self-healing scenes with Wolverine from the X-Men films, and Eric Draven from The Crow. Amusing, yes — but the idea was that modern CGI special effects have advanced to the point where if someone really could heal instantly that way, that’s exactly what it would look like. Thus it seemed to work as a good way to communicate to my subconscious, which understands symbolism and concepts more readily than words, what I wanted. What I did was more than visualizing though; I really tried to feel it as well, to pull the wound closed and feel it sealing up. Those familiar with Robert Bruce’s method of energy work known as “tactile imaging” will be familiar with what I’m talking about here. Literally thirty seconds later, the bleeding had stopped completely.

I have had many similar experiences since. In some cases I’ve noticed that I could make a nagging long term problem or old injury that never healed right feel better for a short period, but it would soon go back to the way it was. In those cases I would often find an underlying energy block in the affected area. Once cleared, the physical issue would heal more permanently. I can’t help but draw a parallel to the western medical paradigm’s tendency to mask symptoms rather than looking for the root cause of an issue, but that’s a whole other post.

My experiences have confirmed to my satisfaction what mystics have been saying for ages and modern medicine is just beginning to admit: the mind has a very powerful ability to change the physical state of the body. My million dollar question is: if I can heal something like a cut, an old injury or the flu, shouldn’t healing something “bigger” be every bit as possible based on the very same principle? Consider the fact that the body’s cells are constantly dying and being replaced; indeed, that the body you have today is not the same body you had several years ago. Consider also the research that is currently learning how stem cells can be triggered to develop into any kind of tissue in the body. If the “stuff” we’re made of is constantly replacing itself, why does it regenerate things like scars, injuries, disease, instead of reverting to its original healthy state? Is there an underlying “blueprint” for our bodies that can be altered by sickness and trauma? If this is the case and it were possible to access this blueprint, could it be reverted to a previous state just as we can solve many computer problems by restoring a previous save? Could deliberate changes to the blueprint be made? Why do our bodies age if the cells are new?

Do we have to stick with the reality that we’ve always taken for granted, or is reality a bit more customizable than we thought?

–Palehorse

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Tags: anti-aging, experiences, focused intent, healing, reality manipulation, regeneration, Self Healing
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The Power of Water

Posted by Palehorse - Thursday, March 27th, 2008

What would you say if I told you that one of the most powerful tools for our healing is also one of the most common substances on earth? What if I told you that to find large quantities of this miracle substance you need look no further than your own body? “You’re mad, Horse!” you might say. Be that as it may *ahem* — work with me here, I’m going somewhere with this.

The substance is! (drumroll) …Plain ol’ water.

A Japanese scientist named Masaru Emoto has done some amazing work investigating the properties of water. His experiments involved slowly freezing samples that had been subjected to various influences, and photographing the resulting crystals. The first results indicated that clean, pure water would form beautiful symmetrical crystals — whereas samples from polluted areas would not form crystals at all.

The really amazing results came out when Emoto subjected his water samples to different kinds of emotional stimuli. On some, he would focus positive emotions like love and gratitude. On others, hate and derision. He found that, again, the water that received positive attention formed into intricate geometric shapes, whereas the negative samples would freeze into a shapeless mass. This same effect was reproduced even when words and phrases were typed onto slips of paper, attached to the water samples and left overnight. Influences like meditation and different types of music have been tried as well, with similar results.

A summary of Emoto’s work was featured in the film “What the Bleep Do We Know?!” and its implications were explored. The idea was that if this is the effect emotions have on water, and over 2/3 of our planet is water, and over 2/3 of our bodies are made up of water — what can this tell us? The implication seems to be that water is an impressionable substance that can “record” focused emotion and intent in a way that clearly demonstrates the effects of consciousness on physical matter.

Shortly after seeing “What the Bleep…” one day I woke up and found myself sicker than I had been in years. I had been up since about 3am with severe flu-like symptoms. As of about 10am I was still unable to hold down even a few sips of water for more than fifteen minutes. Thinking back on the film and Emoto’s work, for lack of anything better to do I got myself a large glass of water and meditated with it for about fifteen minutes. With the glass in my lap I raised a bunch of energy between my hands, and intended the concept of “perfect health” into the energy. When I felt like I had a good enough flow going, I directed the energy and intention into the water. The result? I was able to finish the whole large glass, and it stayed down. By noon, I was feeling almost back to normal. By that evening I was completely well. Score one for Emoto!

I can’t help but wonder how far this can be taken. I’ve done a bit more experimentation with it, but have a lot of ideas I’ve yet to test. I’m particularly interested in further exploration of the fact that we are all connected, not only by energy as is often pointed out, but physically by the water cycle. Think about it — water passes through every living thing on earth, in and out of the earth, into the atmosphere and back down again. With that in mind we can come up with even more implications and ways this knowledge can be used to improve things at the individual and world levels. Experiments have already been conducted involving group meditations around a lake, which was then noted for having a marked decrease in pollution compared to the norm. (Source) I am also aware of group meditation experiments that have been correlated with a noticeable decrease in the crime rate of the area in which it was conducted. (Source) I’m not aware of whether these two ideas, meditating around a body of water and then noting any change in crime rate, but if such an experiment has not already been conducted, it should be.

What other experiments could be done with water, toward improving our quality of life and coming to a more full awareness of our interconnectedness?

Allies and Adversaries

Posted by Palehorse - Sunday, March 23rd, 2008

Good vs. evil. Over the course of human history this dichotomy has been a fundamental part of our existence. Typically we cast those who support our interest as “allies” and those who act in opposition as “adversaries.” Today our world is becoming increasingly polarized into opposing camps of various sorts, based on this idea. Much of this is caused by scapegoating and placing blame for one’s struggles upon an external source. Or worse, groups and people are manipulated into a manufactured conflict for the benefit and profit of a third party. I used to engage in a pretty combative “me vs. everything” mentality myself, until I began to consider a deliberate shift in the way I was framing various difficult situations in my life.

It occurred to me that in a sense, allies and adversaries are both teachers. Allies simply teach via support; adversaries through their opposition.

This is not meant to downplay the fact that there are people and forces out there that genuinely seek to oppress and limit the freedom of others, and who directly oppose our best interest (though for that matter, I’ve had teachers who the same could arguably be said about). What it IS meant to do, is completely change the rules of the game, level the playing field and take much of the force out of the opposition. More importantly it resolves our internal conflict, often causing external circumstances to rearrange themselves to reflect that.

Consider the associations that come up when we hear the word “enemy.” Fear. Struggle. Someone actively working against our best interest, who may attack us at any time. Someone whose “victory” over us might bring about our downfall. Remember that when we put ourselves in a defensive position, our position requires something to defend against. A defensive mentality is like a chinese finger trap: the more we struggle, the more resistance we get in return.

Now consider the associations with “teachers.” When one works with a teacher, both parties are working on the same side. The teacher may create opposition in the form of challenging exercises, but in a controlled way that is intended for the student’s benefit. In an ideal student-teacher relationship, the responsibility for how the lesson is learned rests just as much upon the student as the teacher; maybe moreso. Another good thing about teachers is that bad ones can be fired.

For me this concept started out as a thought experiment with nonduality and taking responsibility for my own experience, but when I began testing it in real life situations I found I could use it to great effect to neutralize the opposing forces in my life. Conflicts dried up; people I formerly had an antagonistic relationship with either ceased to be a problem or drifted out of my life entirely. Perhaps the most drastic example happened when I used this idea to immediately halt a direct psychic attack by what I suspected at the time to be a persistent negative entity. I simply smiled and said something to the effect of “thanks for showing your hand; I’ve really learned something from this experience.” Literally within seconds I felt the entity leave and all attack symptoms cease. I’m not sure if it couldn’t stand the idea of me benefitting from whatever it was trying to accomplish, or I just confused the crap out of it, but well… whatever works, right?

At this point anyone who’s read my other posts recounting my encounters with some very negative stuff, might be wondering how I can simultaneously regard such people and entities as “teachers.” I would have to point out that the worst of it happened at a time when I was too young and unaware to take responsibility for my experience. A combination of learning how to neutralize the effects of things I couldn’t prevent, and taking responsibility for my thoughts, actions and experience NOW, has dramatically cut down on the amount of conflict in my life and put me in a more empowered position to deal with any that remains.

At this time, most of the world is playing a game that is essentially unwinnable, because we’ve been convinced that it’s the only way to go about things. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if people began rejecting all the usual “rules of engagement” we’ve been indoctrinated with, and creating their own on a larger scale. At the very least, it has to be a lot more fun than the alternative, I figure. Now I want to hear from YOU: how are you doing this in your own way, in your own life?

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Tags: adversaries, allies, Consciousness, enemies, Law of Attraction, opposition, stress
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Negative Entities and Etheric Implants: Conclusion

Posted by Palehorse - Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

I. Negative Entities and Etheric Implants: An Introduction
II. The Blocking and Unblocking of my Crown Chakra
III. Hypercube In My Belly
IV. Heart Chakra Implant and a Retaliation Strike
V. Etheric Implant Causing Physical Problems
VI. Did I Swallow a Manhole Cover?
VII. Lifelong Problems of Unknown Origin Solved by Implant Removal
VIII. Negative Entities and Etheric Implants: Conclusion

My impression is that a lot of sources of information on this do something along the lines of taking a legitimate experience of interference, and run wild with theories and speculation about it. Thus while my theories and explanations may seem to raise more questions than they provide answers, this is because I’m deliberately not going beyond what I can verify through experience and reasoning, if I’m going to state something as fact. When I’m getting into intuition, theory and speculation, I will generally make that clear.

Who is targetting us in this way?

The most logical questions to start with would probably be: who or what is targetting people in this way? The short answer is that strictly speaking, I don’t know who. I’ve never come face to face with whoever is responsible, at least as far as my conscious memory is concerned. And that’s probably for the best; based on experience even if I did, the last thing I’d expect is honesty anyway. All I know is what I’ve read from others who claim to have more evidence to go on, and what I can infer through my own experience. The three usual suspects are regular negs, negative aliens with multidimensional capabilities, and factions of humans with the means to pull it off. At present it could be any of those, or any combination as far as I’m concerned. I do know that beings of negative factions “don’t play well with others” unless it benefits their own immediate goals, so there’s probably any number of factions doing similar stuff and vying for dominance.

Why are we being targetted?

I believe I can fill in a few more blanks on this one by making deductions and inferences, as well as referring to the theories of people who have had similar experiences which offer a logically valid explanation for my own. For the sake of convenience, the perpetrators will be referred to for the rest of this entry as “the perps.”

The most common idea I’ve come across is that feeding upon energy is the motivation. The theory is that humans are natural batteries of energy (which is true even from a scientific standpoint) and that the perps are not able to sustain themselves in the same ways we do — so they need to take the energy of other beings to survive. Since their vibration is negative, they require negative energy. The energy draining and morale-dropping effects of many kinds of psychic attack would seem to fit this explanation. My feeling though is that while this reason accounts for some of the bigger picture, it’s too simplistic to cover it all.

Going by my own experience and what I’ve seen and heard from people who report similar phenomena, it seems that something really doesn’t want us to wake up or develop spiritually. Nowadays, for me all things point toward the idea that we’re all interconnected and part of something bigger — and that something bigger is part of us. The common thread running through the interference I’ve experienced is that it seems suspiciously designed to push me away from those ideas. The worldview that I feel was being drilled into me was that I was inherently alone, struggling to survive in opposition to everything and everyone, with no help or support, human or divine. Trusting anybody was out of the question. In hindsight I realize that these views were just self perpetuating — I saw what matched my beliefs and got what I expected. What concerns me though is where this worldview came from to begin with, because there’s a lot to it that I can’t match to any of the people or influences in my life at the time. My impression is the perps are terrified of people becoming spiritually advanced, self empowered and well connected to other likeminded people. I can think of no other reason why they would “rig the game” against some people as children seemingly from birth, or target people during times of debility, like during major surgery.

What Can We Do About It?

Ideally if etheric implants are suspected, one would get in touch with someone skilled in detection and safe removal. Gehenna is offering this service on the Healing section of our site along with our other reiki and energy healing services. I am all for personal self-empowerment though, and so I am always experimenting with new methods that will allow me to personally counter whatever might be thrown in my way.

My Technique for Removing egaive Emotions and Energy was actually invented for this reason, at a time when I was waking up nearly every morning to some sort of weird crap lodged in my system. At the time my senses weren’t refined enough to target the actual implant as I’ve been able to do more recently, but I could target the feeling, compress it into a dense little ball and remove it. This has proved effective in many cases, though mostly when the attack is not advanced, or maybe even conscious. Negative entities often seem to leave behind what I call “ick” (technical term ) — the energetic equivalent to feeling like your belly is full of nasty-emotion-flavored tar. Unfortunately this technique will not work on more advanced implants, many of which are deliberately designed to be hard to find or remove even if one does have the necessary sensing ability.

Magnets

A while back I came across the suggestion to use neodynium magnets to disable etheric implants. Neodynium is a “rare earth magnet” with an extremely strong magnetic field. Since they’re cheap and easily obtained online, I ordered myself a few and would tape them over spots on my body where I sensed problems, or negative feelings that I could tell weren’t “mine.” My results were very encouraging — within seconds, one little magnet can dispel a whole lot of ick. More experimentation is required to figure out exactly how much they can do and what specific psychic self defense applications they can be used for. I don’t yet know if they’re effective against more advanced etheric devices, because when we were finding those in me, 1. we didn’t have the magnets, and 2. we both wanted them removed as quickly as possible.

Useful tip: I’d strongly recommend buying them from an industrial or hardware type website, rather than one selling them for healing purposes. To use a term I’ve lovingly yoinked from Gehenna, the latter will charge the “Weirdo Tax” — and they’ll be a lot more expensive than they need to be.

Disclaimer: These are powerful magnets, and I’m not a doctor. As such, I don’t know what medical conditions, if any, placing these magnets on your body might aggravate. If you have any medical conditions, consult your doctor and use your better judgement before plastering yourself with magnets, mmkay? And if you end up stuck to your fridge… I had nothing to do with it.

Orgone and Orgonite

Orgone is a term coined by Wilhem Reich, for “life energy” which he claimed to have figured out how to generate. Orgonite, which is said to generate this energy, consists of metal (like shavings, or BBs) and various combinations of crystals (quartz being the most common) mixed into resin. I don’t have any experience with it myself, but I put it here because 1. it’s often claimed to be a great tool for keeping your space clear of negative influence, and 2. I’m very curious about it myself. However, my impression is of mixed reviews from people who aren’t actually selling the stuff, or heavily involved in the orgone scene. So I’ve never gotten around to experimenting with it, and don’t currently have the time or resources to spare for something that might work. If anyone experienced in this field who has some spare orgonite samples and is willing to trade for a reiki session or a tarot reading, we’d be all for it. Get in touch with me and we’ll work something out.

State of Mind

I’ve saved the best for last: the most powerful weapon you have against entities and interference, is your own state of mind. The two main weapons these things have in their arsenal are fear and stealth — therefore the two best tools in yours are to overcome fear and increase your knowledge. These are not beings to be feared. Why do I say this? Well, consider the methods of attack. They target young children and people at their most vulnerable. They exploit weaknesses. They thrive on lies and covert manipulation. Do these sound like the hallmarks of a being who’s secure with itself, and in a dominant position? Not hardly.

The best state of mind I’ve found for dealing with these phenomena is one that’s detached, relaxed and even slightly amused. It’s also helpful to figure out what the implant or attack is trying to accomplish, and deliberately do the exact opposite. Writing these posts is in fact one way I’m doing just that. The idea was to isolate me and make me feel alone with my problems (that were being created deliberately for that purpose) — so I’m going public with my experiences and trying to make connections by helping others. Even when the problems are etheric implants, I believe that deliberately choosing our state of mind can work to disable them, or help us attract people who can do so more directly. When Gehenna started finding these things in me, in a few of my chakras she sensed the residual of something that had been there but wasn’t anymore; this may have been due to all my work on specific issues, without knowing what was causing them. My habit of deliberately challenging the mentality and course of action these negative influences were pulling me toward was also what made my connecting with Gehenna possible to begin with.

Where Do We Go From Here?

It would be a mistake to assume that I have all the answers when it comes to the things I’ve experienced, or that I don’t still struggle with it. Once these long term problems started being solved in such a short period, I had very mixed feelings. On one hand, I was ecstatic to finally solve all these things that I didn’t think had a solution. On the other, I couldn’t help but think — what kind of world do we live in where things like this can even happen? And not even so much that, but where were the positive influences while all this was going on? Why did it take so many years before I stumbled upon the information and circumstances to fix it? I don’t have an answer to any of those questions. But I do see the silver lining. Although the “silver lining” should NOT be mistaken for the idea that these attacks were “meant” to happen, or that they were a good thing. I don’t believe that at all; I believe there are a number of ways we can learn any given lesson, both positive and negative. I will never give credit or justification to any person or entity who acts without honor and seeks to control; to limit the freedom of others for any reason.

But the fact is, whatever initiated these attacks shot themselves in the foot by doing so. I resonate strongly with Odin of Norse mythology, who gave up an eye (a method of perception) to gain divine wisdom — because I feel like that’s what has happened. By having certain aspects of myself blocked off, I developed strenth, wisdom and perspective in other areas to compensate — and now the original abilities are coming back. By cutting me off from my emotions, upon regaining them I learned, from a very unique perspective, how they worked and how to observe and manage them. The attempts to isolate me have only caused me to appreciate other people more, and to gain a lot of perspective on what it means to have, and be, a genuine friend and ally. As for spiritual abilities, well, one of the big reasons I started exploring metaphysics is because of these blocks causing problems that conventional methods weren’t solving. Now the issues causing sabotage are fixed, and I’m continually discovering new perspectives, strengths and abilities because of the path that I was pushed toward out of necessity. Not only that, but my experiences undoing the damage that has been done to me are now being used to help others do the same.

Ongoing Energy Shifts

Posted by Palehorse - Saturday, March 15th, 2008

I’m still in the process of writing the conclusion to the “Etheric Implants” series, but I want to make sure it’s complete and as well thought out as it can be. Considering the state I’m in at the moment, that’s easier said than done. Right now I’m just trying to roll with it and not force things if I don’t feel it’s going to be my best work. So for this entry I thought I’d go a bit more into the shifts I’m seeing and/or hearing about, which have me and lots of others a bit frazzled at the moment.

I’m not sure if the current wave of stuff I’m seeing is a soul-group thing, being experienced by myself and people I’m more directly connected to, or a more widespread “energetic weather” type shift, though I lean toward the latter. By posting this I’m actually hoping to hear back from readers about their own experiences, to get a more realistic sampling of people I don’t know personally.

The common theme I’m seeing is that a lot of old core issues, really heavy stuff, is coming to the surface right now. I’ve definitely had it happen over the past few days, as has Gehenna, as well as many of our friends and acquaintances. If you’re going through this now I recommend doing what you need to in order to acknowledge and express those feelings — but make it clear to that aspect of yourself that things are different now. For me the old theme of being and feeling isolated has been coming out in a big way, even though I haven’t felt like that in a long time and know that it’s not the case. The difference between now and the past was that literally two minutes after I acknowledged those feelings but explained to that aspect of myself how things are different, gave it a reality check and a bunch of positive affirmative statements, I got a nice email from a good friend. Made me smile. I’m still feeling a bit disoriented though; lots of strange and interesting energy sensations. Heachaches, mystery illnesses and random soreness are also common at the moment from what I’m seeing. On the other hand, there also seems to be quite a bit of major healing going on.

So, take it easy all; be good to yourselves and hang in there. If you’re having a difficult time now it’s only because you’re going through growing pains, processing a whole lot in a short period, and/or clearing out old outdated stuff to make room for more of your true, ideal self.

–Palehorse

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Tags: clearing, energy shifts, healing
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A Vision of the Earth Grid

Posted by Palehorse - Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

The background for this post was that the day before the vision, I decided that following the news — whether from mainstream or alternative sources — wasn’t doing me any favors, and was only pulling down my mood and vibration — which is what it’s designed to do. That the bulk of what I was reading wasn’t even real; it is, as the band Tool has so aptly put it, “one great big festering neon distraction.” If something really big and significant did happen, those claiming to know what the “real deal” was probably wouldn’t, those who did wouldn’t be talking about it, and the rest of us probably wouldn’t find out about it until it was literally on our doorstep. Cynical? Me? Neeever. Well, maybe a little. So, I decided on a general media blackout. And truth be told, it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in recent memory, and I don’t think I could stomach turning back if I wanted to. Which I don’t.

But I seemed to get confirmation the next night during my meditation that I was on the right track. I received something that was part vision, and part interactive. I saw the earth from a perspective high above it, with a grid around the entire planet. But this grid was black, dirty and had a really bad vibe to it. I instinctively felt for a cord coming out of myself, and literally unplugged myself from it. I then saw another grid that was bright and clear, great energy and awesome feel to it, which I then plugged into.

I don’t think I was just making this up in my imagination, partly because of the way the grid was structured. If I was going to picture a grid I’d think of squares or rectangles. But both of these were made of triangles, and the dividing lines were themselves triangular, like long prisms. The image I found for this post is an excellent representation, though I hadn’t seen anything like that before doing the meditation.

I’m pretty sure I accomplished something “real” there, because for several days afterward I was on an energy-high that’s hard to describe. Very cool. After telling Gehenna about this she “unplugged” as well, except when she did she actually saw the dark grid crumble in the spot she pulled out of. She got similar positive energy effects from it as well.

My feeling about this and what it represents is that this isn’t an event, but a process that needs to be maintained with awareness. We are coming into something new and exciting, and old power structures are crumbling like the house of cards they are regardless of appearances. But choosing the new paradigm is something that has to be done every day, even in every moment, lest we fall back into being distracted by the usual “reality show” that is just that: a show. The more we choose where we put our focus, and the basis of our thoughts, words and actions, the more we’ll be in a position to cocreate our chosen reality, rather than having our reality chosen for us.

Good things are afoot my friends!

–Palehorse
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Lifelong Problems of Unknown Origin Solved by Implant Removal

Posted by Palehorse - Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

There have been a lot of major positive changes since doing this work, that I’m not entirely sure about the direct cause of, but they have me elated enough that they’re worth devoting a post to. The first half of this post may read like a bit of a downer, or even like I’m complaining — that isn’t really the case. This is all in hindsight now, but I have to describe what things were actually like in order to show the contrast of how they’ve improved since finding and removing the true cause of the issues. Ideally someone with similar issues would see some of themselves in this article, and gain ideas on how to help themselves as I have. Then again, I never intended for this to be your average personal development blog, where I, the Grand Poobah of All Things Wonderful™, tell you how to reach my pinnacle of awesomeness — I’m still learning, I struggle with things, and I believe it’s more honest to portray the struggle along with the success. So onward we go…

I won’t sugarcoat this one — I believe my ability to give and receive love, relate to others, and process emotion, was severely fucked with from as far back into childhood as I can remember. At this point I do want to make clear that I had an average, American middle class, relatively happy childhood, and good supportive parents who I still maintain a positive relationship with (which may be one of the reasons I haven’t gone completely off the deep end by now). But at some point, something changed. The reasons I believe these issues were deliberately caused and not, say, an issue of mental illness, are 1. because I can remember very early on (like preschool age) being a lot better at managing emotions and making friends than the point things eventually reached, which doesn’t make sense without some sort of intervening event. And 2. because all the internal work I’ve done, and now all the discoveries and removal of implants with Gehenna, has solved the problems as if they never were — often shockingly quickly.

At some point in early childhood, I seem to have lost a lot of things that are supposed to be normal parts of the human experience. In short, I had to relearn, from scratch, something it seems like most people know innately — connections and time spent with others are good in and of themselves. Some examples that come to mind: in 1st grade someone gave me one of those “friendship bracelets” kids gave each other in the 80s. My only thought was “I’m a boy, boy’s don’t wear bracelets” — no concept of the intent behind it. Around the same time I remember a friend’s mom wanting to take us to see Snow White in the theaters — my response was “why? I have the book…” — no concept of going out with friends being a good thing. Something was causing me to push others away and close myself down in a way I don’t believe was at all natural, and by the time I figured out that this wasn’t a good way to live, I was too ingrained into these patterns to know where to begin trying to undo them.

I had nonetheless come a long way on this front by high school, mostly by observing others and trial and error, but I was still pretty much a mess socially and emotionally. Very much cut off from other people, and parts of myself as well. I spent years wrestling with the question of whether being separate from others in this way was just part of my basic nature that I would have to accept. In hindsight I believe someone or something was trying to pass off a lot of false stuff as true aspects of myself, and that if let go long enough, that would have integrated into my actual nature. I believe this to be the case especially after reading accounts of other metaphysically inclined people being isolated in eerily similar ways.

When the blocking of my emotional processing wasn’t keeping me isolated, I believe it also allowed the wrong kind of people to come into my life. Knowing on some level that I should have some sort of companionship, I’d end up with people around me who would take full advantage of my inability to sense how toxic they were. It would take me so long to process a reaction and figure out how to feel about what should’ve been obvious mistreatment, that by the time I’d realize the need to distance myself from such people, a lot of damage had been done. I’ve gotten a lot better at this and can now sense pretty quickly whether there are red flags with a person or situation, and have also done a lot of emotional clearing — but to this day, it’s not uncommon for Gehenna (who is, admittedly, the strongest empath I’ve ever met) to sense that I’m in a crappy mood, or have fallen into a funk, like 20 minutes before I do. “You don’t feel right.” “I dunno, I feel okay.” [20 minutes later] “Damn, I don’t feel right.” “See? SEE?!” It’s creepy I tells ye!

Speaking of the metaphysical, based on things I’ve heard from my parents, my natural abilities may have been tampered with as well. Apparently when I was very young I used to pop out with stories of conversations with dead relatives that I had never met, or even known about, though I have no memory of this myself and am not able to do anything like this now (yet?), even though I’ve been focused on developing whatever abilities I have for several years. When I first felt drawn to spirituality and metaphysics in my later teenage years, I processed things completely in a logical/intellectual way. It took several more years before I was able to be convinced that there were other ways to take in and process information. Though, oddly, something kept drawing me back to those subjects even though at the time it was more of a curiosity than anything I was actively practicing. This is another instance of having very limiting beliefs and strong mental blocks with no known origin — my parents have always been spiritual, accepting and reasonably open-minded; today I’m able to talk to them openly about most of the stuff I’m into.

In addition to the above, all my life I’ve had what I’d assumed before were neurological problems. I couldn’t focus. I’d get overloaded easily. I had no sense of direction at all. I would sometimes get disoriented. I had visual processing issues; scanning an entire scene I’d miss important information, and what I did take in would be misinterpreted. As with the other problems I’ve talked about in this series, I asked doctors for input, and was told there was nothing I could do but adapt.

As you could imagine, all of this really came into play when I tried to learn how to drive. When getting in the car, these issues even seemed to increase. For instance, I had a complete inability to remember how to get places — even places I had been many times. I would try to pay attention to streets and where I was going when other people drove, but after about thirty seconds of this, a few minutes later I’d realize that I somehow blanked out, a bunch of turns had been made and I now had no idea how we got there. I often said (without knowing anything about entities or implants) that it was like someone took a checklist of all the basic skills you need to drive, and in me they were all damaged or missing. It didn’t help that every time I’d arrange to practice driving with someone, plans would mysteriously fall through. When I arranged to practice with my then-girlfriend, her parents switched her insurance the day before so nobody else could drive her car. When I arranged to practice with a friend, there was an accident that wrecked that car the day beforehand (though thankfully no one was hurt). When I started planning to practice with a family member, I would come in ready to go, only to find them hammered drunk — relapsed alcoholism after several years of sobriety. I could go on with many, many similar instances, but long story short after eight years of this I finally managed to obtain a license and a car, and do well enough to get by with the help of a GPS system… though I was never what one would consider “functional” with it. Unfortunately in southern California where I grew up, it’s very difficult to get by without driving, and my social life was what suffered the most. I was becoming more isolated than I’d ever been, and between work, school, and trying to figure out how to work out my transportation woes, trying to rebuild my social life took a backseat.

Fast forward to my trip back to soCal for the holidays this year — where there was a major breakthrough. I’m pretty sure the breakthrough happened long before that, but since I can function perfectly well without needing to drive here in the UK, I wouldn’t have noticed. I went out a lot with my brother — and at some point realized I was remembering routes and directions without even trying to focus on them! It was as if some sort of internal compass I never had use of before had suddenly flipped on. He got lost twice — and I’m the one who managed to navigate us home. I felt like I could’ve easily driven myself, and had it feel natural. It’s hard to describe how this felt after a lifetime of not having these basic skills, but it felt very much like I was suddenly functioning “normally” after years of having those natural abilities surpressed to the point where I thought I just didn’t have them at all. Wow.

In my next post I’ll finish out this series with some final thoughts, insights I’ve gained, further reading, and some simple methods I’ve learned for dealing with implants and neg phenomena for those who don’t necessarily have well developed psychic senses.

If you identify with any of the information found in this article, please note that we offer energy body scans, etheric implant removal and other services on our energy healing page.

–Palehorse

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Linkification

Posted by Palehorse - Sunday, March 9th, 2008

‘Tis that time again; here’s some of the nifty stuff I’ve been reading (and has been reading me) this week.

Forgiving Our Past: Key to Unlocking Joyful Present — Great post on internal work from Seasons of Shadows, who recently featured my article on Energy Cords in its latest blog carnival. As a fellow Halloween enthusiast who formerly worked at Heartstopper’s Haunt halloween maze in Sacramento CA, I also dig the spooky theme they’ve got going. Three thumbs up, there.

How to be a Law of Attraction Expert — Great post on the LOA. Dean also recently linked to my post on Energy Cords. Thanks Dean!

Who Are Your Enemies? — A thought provoking post from Fearless Dreams on the subject of “enemies.” I’ve been meaning to write on this, and this post has definitely influenced and/or reaffirmed my thinking.

3 Tips to Install New Beliefs — Insightful post on how beliefs are formed and how we can use this info to deliberately create our experience. For further reading, check out my own post on the subject, Beliefs Create Experiences.

45 Tips for a Happier, Simpler and More Productive Life — A long yet excellent list for achieving exactly what the title says. Will definitely be putting this list to use!

That’s all for this week!

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Tags: beliefs, happiness, Internal Work, Law of Attraction, productivity, reality creation
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Did I Swallow a Manhole Cover?

Posted by Palehorse - Sunday, March 9th, 2008

A few days ago, I had my first experience with finding and removing what I’m pretty sure was an etheric implant on my own. I suppose it could have just been a regular block — but in my experience those are just formless blobs of stuck energy, and don’t have structures meant to hold them in place. So… hm.

The other day, I happened to have the time and motivation to do a long energy work session, so I systematically explored my whole energy body. When I got to my throat, I kept running into something. Like, literally — I couldn’t bounce energy from the top down, or from underneath at all; there was something hard and dense there. After poking around it a bit, my impression was something like a manhole cover. I tried to slide it out, but it wouldn’t slide very far, and kept sliding back into place. I figured I probably shouldn’t just force it out, for fear of damaging anything. It was then that I got the impression that it was held in place by some kind of ropes, or cording, so I took my big epic astral knife and sawed through those. It then slid out relatively easy, and I destroyed it.

For about seven years I’ve had some throat and esophagus problems. I got it checked back then but it’s just another nagging issue with no known physical cause. I actually thought it was because I used to be hopelessly addicted to hot Cheetos, and consume enough of them to kill a large land mammal. But as of today that problem has dramatically decreased, and I’m hoping its on its way to healing completely.

In my next post I’ll delve into some lifelong problems that we aren’t sure about the cause of, but have nonetheless been fixed since doing this work. I’m pretty sure it’s somehow connected to all the implants, since the effect was, again, to keep me isolated, ineffective, and not forming meaningful connections with others.

If you identify with any of the information found in this article, please note that we offer energy body scans, etheric implant removal and other services on our energy healing page.

–Palehorse

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Beyond Within

Archive for March, 2008

Relinquishing Control

Thoughts on Self Healing

The Power of Water

Allies and Adversaries

Negative Entities and Etheric Implants: Conclusion

Ongoing Energy Shifts

A Vision of the Earth Grid

Lifelong Problems of Unknown Origin Solved by Implant Removal

Linkification

Did I Swallow a Manhole Cover?

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