The last three posts ended up becoming an informal series after I had the dream that became the basis of this one. If you’re just joining us and need to catch up, the other two can be found here, and here.

A quick recap: soon after editing and posting my recent article on the connection between negative influence and the concept of gravity, I went to bed and had a dream that not only demonstrated its validity, but tied in some work I had been doing with the “woman in red” archetype previously, as well as the message I received from an unexpected visitor and recounted in the previous post.

The dream opened with me walking through a corporate office with a sense of purpose (which, for anyone who’s actually seen me, may be an amusing mental picture in itself). I passed by a group of beautiful women in flashy performance costumes, standing in formation as if they had just done a show. Two or three of them were excitedly trying to get my attention so I’d stop and say hello. As I went to do so though, a scruffy misshapen guy, wearing one of their costumes, stepped out of the group to block my path, staring me down with a mix of hatred and smugness.

After jumping back a bit and thinking to myself “…well this is slightly peculiar,” and sensing what was happening and who it came from even though I wasn’t lucid, I was just disgusted. I rolled my eyes and shoved past him, saying “screw you buddy, I’ve got work to do.” As I went by one of the girls was still motioning me over, being pleasant and giving off noticeably positive energy, so I smiled and gave her a little handshake-squeeze as I went back to what I was doing, feeling brightened after the unpleasantness prior.

As I walked past, I heard two male voices behind me. “Aren’t you gonna screw with him?” “Nah, he hasn’t eaten enough.” At that I saw a flash and got the odd impression that it was “behind the scenes” of the main dream – a very questionable looking plate of donuts that appeared to be full of lead shavings, and radiating a nasty, poisonous vibe.

The scene flashed back to the office, where I was handed some mail. The first thing was a little package from a friend in California, just to say hi, which contained several large quartz crystals. The second was a substantial and unexpected financial gift.

The scene then changed to myself, entering a bank to deposit the surprise check, and sitting down with a decidedly unpleasant employee at their computer. I’m not a fan of such situations in general and was hoping it would just go through without any weird hassle, and the employee was being snappy about the whole affair. With that, another very attractive woman walked up, who seemed pointedly designed to fit the LA version of the “woman in red” stereotype, and insisted she urgently had to interrupt us, which visibly irritated the teller. The standing woman playfully rested her elbow on my head, and the two of them proceeded to have a conversation about some key elements of the very mythological / metaphysical themes I’ve been thinking on lately. She finished what she was saying and started to walk away, at which point I was told my deposit had gone through without a problem. Thinking to myself “well that was strangely relevant,” I turned around to regard the woman leaving as if to say “alright, what just happened here?” and she waved back, looking pleased with herself.

I woke up feeling the tell-tale sign of negative dream interference, associated with Scruffy McGee from earlier; namely, a quantity of dense, energetic tar lodged in my system. Interestingly, unlike other similar encounters in the past, I only felt the density, rather than having it be dense, heavy, energy-draining and radiating a sense of anxiety, despair or something equally unpleasant. It cleaned out easily, and the sense left by the more positive and enjoyable elements of the dream remained long into the day.

Observations

I found this dream both important and fascinating on a lot of fronts. First, it obviously has implications in the psychic self defense department, and I consider it a demonstration that my experimenting to counter the natural gravitational “pull” of more energetically dense negative influences and thus negate their default advantage, has been extremely successful.

Before I did the work on this issue, dream interference would have meant that the entire night’s dreams would have been warped by the intrusive energy, and taken on a dark, dirty aesthetic that would be familiar to anyone who’s seen the Saw films. Those who have some experience in this area will probably also notice the common tactic of trying to take something positive and desirable, and twist it into a distorted and disturbing version of itself in order to create a subconscious aversion. As it was though, the office and other settings remained normal, the positive elements and people were not affected, and the negative ones stuck out very obviously (and thus were easily avoided). This is the first time I’ve ever seen this mix of elements in the same dream, with an obvious distinction between them. Usually if there’s going to be an intrusion or an unpleasant turn of events, it’s going to quickly drag down the entire dream sequence, or otherwise dreams usually take on roughly the same tone throughout, even if positive.

The donut-related flash and the phrase “hasn’t eaten enough” seems to offer a glimpse into the mechanics of dream interference – an amount of energetic “tar” is sent into one’s energy body, which draws out one’s own dark and unpleasant subconscious material, as well as attaching to and corrupting more positive elements in a darker direction and taking the whole thing toward the lower astral, likely giving an intrusive entity a large payoff for a small investment. Of course without the advantage of its natural drag-effect, everything stayed where it was to begin with, and a clear separation was very evident, vibrationally speaking.

The mix of the performing women and office indicates that I have been successful in my efforts to tear down the subconscious divide between work and leisure, and correct in my assumption that the “lady in red” archetype is best aligned as part of our foundation, not separate from or even in conflict with it. Though brief, my encounter took my mind off the negative interference, put me in a good state to be productive, and arguably made possible the segue into something even better.

The elements of the women in red (earthy pleasures), the quartz crystals (clarity, spirituality) from a distant friend (connectedness) and the financial gift (material security and surprise blessings) all being present and manifesting positively, indicates that not only do these things NOT have to be in conflict, and are NOT mutually exclusive – it may well be that we get the best results when they are all honored and acting in cooperation with each other. It seems worth noting that it wasn’t even clear what I was doing in that office, and work (struggle) played no part in the other elements. This seems to confirm my suspicion that the proper place for struggle is to develop mind and will, not necessarily to produce the resources to survive, much less to enjoy life. In short: the current model of work / life ratio that most people labor under, is both faulty and changeable – but it involves making friends with many of the very things we’ve been taught to view as the enemies of productivity and virtue.

The sequence in the bank put an exclamation point on this theme, and seemed tailored to confirm the validity of the work I’ve done and turn a lot of stereotypes on their heads all at once. I had decided to see if I could frame the women in red archetype as a teacher rather than an obstacle to learning, and here was this one giving some impromptu confirmation of things I’ve been wondering about. Having also grown up being conditioned by the “gold digger” stereotype that is arguably more prominent in southern California than anywhere else, I decided to uproot that one as well. I have come to strongly suspect that this is yet another perversion we’ve been led to believe and manipulated to act out in order to divide and limit our potential. In reality I strongly suspect that without the beliefs and cultural / religious conditioning, the feminine principle is not only the one responsible for producing the raw resources, even ex nihilo, but is also capable of making them easier to come by. The “woman in red” aspect of the feminine is just the one that says “I’ll go one better; let us make the resources of a high quality, and their acquisition a fun and often magical process, too.”

And Palehorse saw this, and said that it was good.

Reflections

Once separated from the unhealthy influences that have co-opted and distorted her to our detriment, the “woman in red” symbolizes the ability to not only move beyond struggling for the basic necessities, but is an important component of realizing one’s most deeply held desires. Those desires aren’t meant to be a distraction or a hindrance, they’re there for a reason, and that reason is to give you a glimpse of your own authentic nature and a way to explore it. I have begun working with this aspect symbolically and getting it integrated into my life in a way that works for me – but it’s something we all relate to in some way (even if not as an actual woman or overtly feminine symbol, so don’t get tied up in being too literal here), and whether your relationship with her is a beneficial one, is up to you.

Is she a trap that you have to keep from consuming your resources, or does she help multiply those resources and encourage you to enjoy and share them?

Is she a symbol of the unattainable; “out of your league”? Or is she telling you to knock that shit off and encouraging you to start treating yourself better and exploring your potential?

Is she an enemy of healthy relationships and a source of competition, or something that can be integrated and welcomed into all of them, romantic, platonic and otherwise, to add a whole new dynamic?

Is she incompatible with spirituality; a pitfall and a distraction, or a sacred part of the Self that should be expressed in balance, which frees up our resources to focus more on the spiritual; even show us that spirituality and materiality can blend and compliment each other rather nicely?

You tell me!

–Palehorse

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“Were you listening to me Neo, or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?”

Most of my readers will likely be familiar with this scene from the Matrix. Neo is being given a lesson on the nature of reality, and is distracted by a beautiful woman in red. When he turns to look at her again, there is an Agent with a gun inches from his head.

This idea of “woman as deadly distraction” for the male spiritual seeker (or indeed, anybody who grew up near LA), has a long history. A few months ago however, I recognized that she was a symbol of some important archetypes, and began connecting and dialoging with the image of the woman from the Matrix as a handy symbol of the integration work I was doing at the time.

Archetypally speaking, this woman is simply one potential expression of the Feminine, or Anima; whether she acts as a threat or not depends on how the individual relates to what she represents. Working with “her” via internal dialogue and making use of the image, I re-aligned my relation to the archetypes so that what she represents could manifest in my life, not as an obstacle, but as an ally.

Being dressed in red she relates to the root chakra, which covers the areas of sexuality (which broadly includes all forms of creative potential) as well as sensuality, foundations, and our relationship with the material world. This specific manifestation of the Anima also has a lot to do with fun, pleasure, “the finer things in life.” While she has often been portrayed as devious and predatory, this is a projection upon an archetype that has the potential to be a lot of things – my impression from my connecting was that she’s rather tired of that role, and would prefer to embody the harmless uninhibited playfulness for the sake of itself that most of us could use more of in our lives, and mutual exploration rather than selfish gratification at another’s expense. In any case, whether those things are a distraction, or something we can reward ourselves with, keep life fun and improve our morale and motivation, is up to the individual.

In the Matrix movie, Neo’s distraction would’ve gotten him killed had it not been a simulation, and the woman also represents the same things that Cypher, playing the Judas figure, sells himself and his former allies out to gain. But does it necessarily have to play out this way? Are the things she represents inherently false?

“Not in my universe” and “only as false as your own root chakra,” respectively.

Ironically, being led to believe that this figure is an enemy seems to be one of the ways we have been sabotaged, forcing us to struggle in the material world (and thus have less energy and resources to devote to things like spiritual and creative pursuits) rather than manifesting what we need easily and having more resources to devote to raising everyone’s quality of life. Being part of the feminine aspect of the root chakra which is our energetic foundation, could she shift from representing an obstacle to our liberation, and become a teacher helping us to get there, with even those “carnal” aspects of ourselves integrated into wholeness with our “higher” functions? Well, I know I’d have an easier time paying attention to her than Lawrence Fishburne, but…

Isis Agrees

One of the notable experiences during my recent hiatus from writing occurred after I’d just had a massive volume of unhealthy subconscious material cleared, and had a lot of fragments reintegrate in a short period. The Egyptian goddess Isis presented herself, and being mentally exhausted by this point, but having always had an affinity for all things Egyptian, I communicated something about as eloquent as “…err, hey, good to see ya; what can I do for you?” What I got back from her was a very adamant “I love you… but don’t ever do that again,” followed by a strong wave of emotion, from which of us I’m not sure, to emphasize the point.

The stream of intuitive impressions that followed indicated that the dismembering of Osiris, and subsequent scattering of his parts by Chaos (in the form of Set) is tied into many of the same themes I covered in my soul fragmentation series. Namely, we have all been convinced, deceived and coerced into engaging in excessive self-betrayal, abuse and punishment, which causes fragmentation (and then our fragmented aspects often take up the task of unconsciously punishing us further and on into future lives in the form of our Shadow Self). The way the Divine Masculine within ourselves (biological men and women alike) has often been convinced to hand over our sovereignty and capacity for self-direction, and “just be” or “go with the flow” of someone else’s direction, against our own nature, also mirrors the deceiving, dethroning, murder and dismemberment of king Osiris.

This is a major source of unnecessary suffering, and apparently the Divine Feminine is particularly unhappy about, and affected by it. The various forms of suffering, sacrifice, self-denial and relinquishing of personal power that we inflict on ourselves is not only unnecessary, but does real damage to the ideal order of things. Who or what started this cycle is debatable per my current understanding, but the part that is clear is that we’re the only ones individually and collectively, who can finish it.

I was shown that while I have largely overcome the hurdle of seeing various forms of overly excessive “self-discipline” and self-sacrifice as somehow virtuous, I still had to overcome the other side of it, which was many deep rooted patterns of denying myself pleasure, neglecting to deliberately devote some resources to treating myself well as often as I should, and often not even recognizing discomfort until it was relatively blatant or extreme. This came as a bit of a surprise, as at this point my personality is generally laid back and doesn’t take much too seriously, and I’ve come to value the very things being emphasized – but I was shown how this was a layer of “strata” covering lifetimes worth of ultra self-regimented, self-denying hard-assery that was still having an influence in many areas, both subtle, and not so much, once it was pointed out. At that point there wasn’t much to say other than “I’m on it, and any available help in untangling and cleaning up my part in this whole mess is much appreciated as always.”

Life was never meant to be about suffering and struggle. Valuing things like wealth, beauty and pleasure in all their forms is not synonymous with irresponsibility or immorality, and not mutually exclusive with a healthy balance of spirituality, conscious moderation, social conscience and personal responsibility. These are all tools for having experiences which, like any other, can be properly used or abused.

The character in the Matrix who created the woman in red is quoted as saying “ To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.” Based on what I have seen I would have to say the guy’s got a point. Life was meant to be enjoyed, and not just by cutting ourselves off from the part of ourselves that gives a shit, and calling the result “enlightenment.” While we should not be ruled by our impulses and unable to say “no,” being ruled by the inability to say “yes” is not much better. Wholeness is not achieved by abdicating one’s own nature or individual sovereignty in hope of escaping it. Our desires and potential are not to be repressed or released, but explored and experienced. This is not only our birthright, but our responsibility.

Soon after posting yesterday on my theory and experimentation with the principle of “gravity,” I went to bed and had a dream that poignantly tied together the theme of this one with a blatant demonstration of the other. I’ll pick it up there in my next post.

–Palehorse

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…Okay, strapping toast to a cat might be one way, but pending a breakthrough in cat / toast-based propulsion, I’ve come up with another method. Stay with me here.

A friend was recently musing and made a comment along the lines of “why are flashbacks always about the disturbing, negative stuff?”

This got me thinking again on something I’ve wondered myself. Why is it that it’s so seemingly easy to “fall into” negativity, whereas a habitually positive mindset needs to be cultivated, enforced and maintained, often with great discipline? Why do the negative elements of our experience, and our memories, actively draw our attention, while keeping positive takes our deliberate focus and cultivation?

Dealing with persistent negative interference, or even habitually negative people really brings this issue to the forefront, especially if one is sensitive to energy or empathic. It is often noted that negative entities are much more coercive in their approach, whereas our allies more often wait to be called on and engaged, and otherwise use more subtle means of contact. It is thought that this is because one respects free will while the other doesn’t – though I believe that while this may often be the case, this phenomena also has a lot to do with the types of energy we’re dealing with, and their natural properties. While positive influences are simply present, to be found, engaged with, acted upon… or not; negative unhealthy influences seem to exert an active pull on our awareness, our energy, our vibrational state. In an un-disciplined mind, positivity takes effort to maintain – while worries appear seemingly on their own until we learn how to stop. Why is it that if all things are equal and force of will is not being applied, everything seems to default or degrade in the direction of the negative?

And what does any of this have to do with strapping toast to a cat?

After meditating and doing some inner work specifically on this question, the answer I found could be summed up in a word: gravity.

The word “gravity” has two relevant meanings – one can refer to the perceived seriousness of a situation; the other refers to the force of nature that draws one object to another. As is often the case with linguistics, the meanings and origins of words can provide clues about “the way things work” that are known by the collective unconscious, but are not made completely conscious until someone notices the connection. In this case: the same principle that keeps our feet on the ground, also exerts an active pull on our thoughts, energy and emotions.

Many energy-workers can verify that having a high volume of positive energy moving through your system will make you feel like you’re floating. In contrast, having a blob of negative energy or emotion in your gut can feel like something heavy, dense, almost physical, and like it’s pulling the rest of your energy toward itself. “Pulling” is the key word there – negative energy has something akin to a gravitational pull, which typically draws energy and awareness toward itself if equal or greater force is not applied to direct it somewhere else. It’s like comparing a cloud of helium to a ball of lead: the lead has a gravitational pull; the helium does not.

Additionally, the navel chakra, which is in charge of our emotional processing, and also stores a lot of our most emotional memories, is associated with water element, and does indeed behave a lot like a body of water; the material it contains share many of water’s obvious properties. Of course, water doesn’t “decide” where to flow – it is naturally drawn by gravity toward the lowest point unless energy is expended to direct it elsewhere. Likewise, this explains why the attention of an untrained mind is naturally drawn to its traumas, its worries and its current problems, rather than, say, being magnetically drawn to a bright new possible future.

Enough of the high school science refresher course though – what can we DO about this?

Sci-fi geekdom came through with an answer. Anti-grav technology is a permanent fixture in every sci-fi universe; I figured, why can’t it be in mine? Could I make this gravitational effect optional in my internal space with intent?

Houston, we have a solution.

After some experimentation, I was and am very pleased with the results. I meditated with the intent of programming my chakras with the concept that my energy, emotions and awareness are no longer subject to the force of gravity, and almost immediately started seeing the effects I was hoping for.

The “pull” effect from negative and unhealthy influences is greatly diminished, the more that my intent fully sinks into all aspects of my mind and system. The implication of this is that I can set my inner state where I want it and it will stay there, or even move higher on its own momentum, without having to continually put effort into keeping it there and be vigilant that it’s not slipping. I can choose the direction of my thoughts (and by extension, my direction in general) without a bunch of resistance from various sources exerting a drag in other directions not of my choosing.

Without having to specifically devote a constant amount of my energy and effort to “staying positive,” I’m finding that, notably, my creativity and ability to be productive is greatly increasing. With negative influence no longer distorting its content and expending its energy, my subconscious mind seems to have a sense of humor all its own; recently its taken to making up amusing Family Guy style cut-scenes, in response to things people say in conversation. In other words, I’m pretty sure I’ve also accidentally discovered the cure for boredom.

Also very much worth noting is the change in experiences with manifestation. Before now if I wanted to manifest a positive outcome, my intent would have to be constantly reinforced so that I wasn’t being pulled off track toward a less preferable outcome between setting the intent and seeing it play out, especially if there was a stretch of time between A and B. Even then, results were not consistent enough to be reliable. Now? I basically only have to define my intent and state how it’s going to play out, and it happens at a rate I’m increasingly coming to rely on.

In normal cases, the practice of “being positive” pits a negative pulling force that often has a mind of its own, against a positive one that feels good, but usually doesn’t actively draw anything to itself. With gravity neutralized, it’s simply a matter of choosing what feels good over what doesn’t. There’s a tough choice… and by “tough” I mean “almost too easy.”

A quick word of caution to those who plan on doing your own experimentation with this principle (and sending me feedback and entertaining stories!): obviously just as if you were going to be without gravity physically, you need to establish your own strong sense of direction and intent, so you don’t just float aimlessly, or worse, send your life circumstances hurtling around randomly with great force like a pinball. That sounds a bit disconcerting I figure, so I wouldn’t recommend it. It is still necessary to break habits such as negativity, worry, emotional drama and taking things too seriously – the difference is without the extra resistance, getting away from those, and anyone trying to maintain them, is a lot less like trying to leave the mafia.

–Palehorse

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A friend I’ve known since childhood asked me to write on the subject of “Disappointment”, and how other people offer platitudes that, while well-intended, often make us feel worse.

Let’s start by looking at what disappointment is, so we can figure out how to move on from it. Simply, it is unhappiness with how something has turned out. The issue in question is partly fulfilled, but has a major flaw.

Your current position in life may not meet your teenage aspirations. Prince Charming’s mask slipped to reveal that he is really Captain Bastard. The new job is nowhere near as rewarding as you thought it’d be.

So, you are disappointed. Friends will tell you that “It will get better, suck it up!”, “There are plenty more fish in the sea! Try that guy who likes you (but who you don’t fancy at all)”, or “Make the best of it! At least you have a job!”. They will jolly you along and try to take your mind of your woes.

Don’t forget the Love ‘n’ Light “Gurus” who bully you into plastering on a false smile, being grateful, and generally pretending that you are happy. Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil ..bury your head in the sand and convince yourself life is lovely-jubbly. Lie to yourself, and you won’t care that you are in debt up to your eyeballs!

Wait up! That is not dealing with the problem. It’s settling for less than you want. It is compromising. Do you really want to compromise on the life experiences you are shooting for?

Compromise in this case is a form of martyrdom, where you sacrifice your goals on the say-so of others. So fucking WHAT if “it’s the same for everyone”? That’s just peer pressure. Other people may have given up.. that doesn’t mean you should as well.

Try this instead:

Rather than trying to cover up your disappointment ..embrace it. What is it that is not good enough about the situation? What would it need to be perfect? Refine and script the experience you want. This worked incredibly well for me when I was looking for hot male company

Disappointment can be used as a tool to identify and craft the life you want. A better way to help a friend who is in the doldrums over their circumstances would be to say “hey, you are right to feel that way. I’d be feeling pretty upset too. So what is it you really want?”

That will encourage them to open up and focus on what they want, and to get back on to their life path with renewed excitement and enthusiasm for the future.

We all deserve happiness! To gloss over disappointment is to stop striving for the true joy, contentment and love that can be ours. Allow disappointment to express itself so that it may teach you it’s lesson and sharpen your imagination.. because the only limits on your achievements are self-imposed;)

–Gehenna

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Greetings all! Our regular readers will have noticed that I (Palehorse) haven’t been around for a while. For the past few weeks I’ve gone through a period where old understanding has been rapidly blenderized, and new insights, awareness and experiences were coming fast and furious, to the point that if I had started writing an article, by the time I finished it the first half would’ve been obsolete. I went on hiatus for a while to address things and process my experiences and what it all means; even still, I’m mulling over various experiences for insights and tools that I can use for myself and share with our visitors. Obviously, this post marks my triumphant return; ’tis good to be back and writing again! Onward…

With the widespread dissemination of ideas such as the Law of Attraction and the idea that “you create your own reality,” it has become a popular belief that we are responsible for creating ALL of our experience. From who our parents are, to how and when we die, and every aspect of everything in between, it is claimed that if you got it, then you created it, no matter what.

Admittedly this is a more empowering belief than to simply think we’re drifting through life as victims at the mercy of forces well beyond our control, even if it can be difficult to accept responsibility for painful experiences. But is it true?

There was a time when I decided to believe it was; I basically made a decision to take up the concept of “personal responsibility” and stretch it as far as it would go, if it was shown that it was a productive way to operate. I held that everything that came into my sphere of experience was either created or attracted by me, and I was responsible for every part of it, basically to see how this would affect my experience in practice. After feeling like I took this idea to the limits of usefulness, I have been swinging back around to a much more moderate view.

I will say that for a time, it accomplished some of the things I needed it to. When I first started exploring various approaches to spirituality, I quickly began uncovering signs of longstanding, severe negative interference which, not particularly wanting to be uncovered, quickly became hostile and much more overtly problematic. Taking responsibility for my life, and getting creative about extending the concept into every area that was affected, became the way to bring all those areas of experience directly under the influence of my own will, thus pushing out various hostile and unhealthy influences, entities and people, that would otherwise be vying for control. This period also helped me to form and clarify my personal boundaries, as I figured that if I could take responsibility for something, define how I wanted it to play out, and have that part of my life noticeably change, then that something can likely be considered part of my personal sphere. I also gained a lot of useful new tools and insight from stretching this idea as far as it would go – for instance, since deliberately and explicitly taking responsibility for my health a few years ago, I have not been sick, and have actually been able to head off symptoms of “pre-sick” from turning into “actually sick,” sometimes simply by sending the intent through my body that it’s not happening.

Are We Creating Unconsciously?

To say that we’re “creating” unconsciously betrays a poor understanding of how the subconscious mind actually works. The subconscious mind is where most of our experience originates, though it seems more accurate to say we emanate unconsciously; creation, on the other hand, is an inherently conscious act. Emanation and personal responsibility are mutually exclusive in the same way that it doesn’t seem fitting to say we “create” our dreams until we learn to become lucid and begin directing the experience. Before then, both are simply made of the “stuff” reflecting from the psyche, which the individual didn’t put there and has little knowledge of how to work with until we think to deliberately begin sorting it out. Said stuff would’ve been birthing experiences from wherever it happened to reside; that place just happened to be your subconscious mind. Once we begin taking responsibility for our emanations, only then does it start to becomes an act of creation.

The subconscious mind is made up of many aspects which come and go and can even get cut off from their conscious Self of origin. As I explained in the Soul Fragmentation series, subconscious aspects mostly run on autopilot, influenced by programmed beliefs and socialization we absorb from our upbringing, and whatever they happen to encounter and even fall under the control of while outside the influence of conscious awareness. The subconscious mind is not really capable of thinking critically and making choices – rather, it automatically makes connections and associations, and processes information; the interactions and energetic component of this process reflecting outward to form the basis of what we experience. What most people are emanating comes from a disorganized and contradictory jumble of absorbed influences and information, much of which can be negative, toxic or simply false. This conglomerate of influences does not think, plan or discriminate what would be healthy or desirable vs. not, when giving rise to our experiences – it simply reflects what it has onboard.

To make matters more complicated, the subconscious minds of individuals are networked with the Collective Unconscious, as well as each other. At this level, individuality seems to be much less differentiated in general, especially for the conscious mind if it were to try and trace all the origins of a given experience. Taking responsibility for what goes on at the subconscious level requires developing a working understanding of what’s actually going on there; otherwise “responsibility” becomes pretty much meaningless.

Interestingly, many of those who claim 100% responsibility for their experience are also anti-ego, which is often equated with the conscious mind. Y’know, the part of us capable of critical thinking, planning, troubleshooting, reasoning and evaluating why things happen the way they do so perhaps they can be made to happen in a preferable way? Or to make a long story short – the only part of ourselves capable of taking responsibility? Yep – if you manage to get rid of your ego, then no soup responsibility for you. You simply become part of the collection of influences, causes and effects with no “I” to organize or direct them, which the rest of us then have to take responsibility for if the artist formerly known as “you” should wander into our respective spheres. It could thus be said that the movement to be rid of ego can be rightly viewed as a collective ducking of responsibility.

At the end of it though – my personal guidance, as well as my intuition after piecing my experiences together, have repeatedly stated and shown that there were many things that have happened to me in this lifetime that were not chosen, planned, expected or wanted at any level of myself. While it is comforting to believe that our lives are planned by a benevolent sky council, and everyone follows the rules to ensure that we get exactly what we signed up for, this does not at all seem to be the case. In reality, while some people come in with a specific plan and a “backup team” behind the scenes to support its fulfillment, we share space with a vast diversity of people and entities, with many different agendas, and the same freedom to act on them that we have. With so many variables in play, some of them occasionally acting deliberately to change or block our plans, the idea of “taking responsibility” for literally every part of our experience is not realistic or advisable.

Toward a More Balanced View

While the concept of personal responsibility worked very well for pushing negative and undesired influences out of my sphere, I eventually noticed that I had taken it beyond the limits of its usefulness, as it was starting to push out positive influences as well. To figure out why that is, let’s take this belief to its logical conclusion.

Advocates of 100% responsibility often speak of life as if it were a dream; every person and event merely a reflection of some part of the Self. If this is true then it follows that if we can just figure out which part of the Self is reflecting which part of our experience, the actors can be rearranged at will just by rearranging the psyche. While this is often the case, it fails to account for the fact that at least some of the “actors” are conscious enough to be free free to write in their own part as they please at any point. (This can be true in night-time dreams as well, but that’s a subject for another post!)

The factors in our lives that we influence solely by doing things like changing our beliefs and attitude, work to shift those variables that were previously undecided and thus open to our influence, as well as people who have no particular interest in influencing those specific factors or were otherwise operating unconsciously in that area. This is all well and good at times, but would you want to live 100% of the time in a reality with nothing BUT sockpuppet dream characters who always acted according to our own beliefs and intentions? I sure wouldn’t, for a lot of reasons, starting with the fact that after a while it would just get boring, lonely and without meaningful challenge.

If your life had movie-credits, then 100% responsibility means putting your own name after every role, and every crew member. What do you think some of those free-thinking and acting contributors would have to say about that?

Therein lies the other major flaw I found in this theory. The longer I held it, the more I noticed the general flow of my life shifting in a direction where there was less happening at all, and the existing dynamic was increasingly negative, in spite of any positive beliefs or actions on my part. It was as if negative influences and people, those who don’t want their role known and have little use for responsibility, collectively said “whoa, he’s taking responsibility for my actions! Free-for-all time!” At one point I even had my boundaries flat-out steamrolled and was smacked around a bit by an entity that seemed to be wanting to prove that not only does one being’s idea of responsibility have little bearing on another’s will and ability to act, the implication that it does could be considered offensive in some circles. “Take responsibility for me, will ye! Harumph!” Point taken, lesson learned, and truth be told, I can kinda relate to that, heh.

On the other hand, those people I would actually want as co-contributors with some creative liberties in my experience; those who are responsible and I would consider as working toward personal sovereignty whether they’d put it in those terms or not, those who enjoy gifting myself and each other with fun surprises, began to give off a somewhat resentful vibe, and then became much less active and visible in my experience. Given the above, I can’t say I blame ‘em. It seems that on some level they were picking up on the fact that I had framed things in terms where I was taking responsibility for their contributions in my life – so they stopped contributing as much. Definitely not the effect I was shooting for, and so needless to say, a change in approach was needed.

As of now I still hold myself to a high standard of personal responsibility, but I expect the same of those I share space with; for those who can’t follow this basic rule I take responsibility for making sure our time sharing space is cut short enough to minimize liability. For most people I recommend focusing heavily on taking responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions; i.e., the parts of your experience that are easily recognized as originating directly with yourself, and likewise viewing other people as being ultimately responsible for theirs. For most of us, mastering those three things is more than enough to keep us busy. As for one’s manifested experience – personal responsibility gets a lot more fluid, or should, if it’s going to remain beneficial. That which I understand to some degree and can have some deliberate influence over, I take at least partial responsibility for. Taking responsibility for one’s beliefs and learning how to use beliefs as creative tools is useful, though I can say from experience that some “beliefs” and similar material that influence our experiences are buried very deep, may even be unrecognizable or unassociated to anything ever held consciously, come from a variety of sources, and taking responsibility without having discovered them will not change the influence they’re having. After a point it begins to look like claiming responsibility for everything going on in the depths of the ocean, when we know less about the ocean than we do the solar system. There is a learning curve, and a process of exploration involved.

Beyond that I find it more useful to fill in the gaps, not with absolute responsibility, but with positive intent, such as the intent that my experience is being co-created by myself and a variety of people, entities and influences who share enough of the same values to make creating together a mutually beneficial experience. Combine that with gratitude to those who contribute to fulfilling my intentions, and we’ve got a pretty good recipe for what could be considered a more diplomatic approach to manifestation.

The effects of this shift have been encouraging. It seems that a lot of negative people and influences are scared off and repelled by the prospect of having responsibility imposed on them for as long as they’re in my sphere. On the other hand, the sort of people and influences I’d actually welcome in my sphere, helping to create mutually beneficial experiences and increased options for all involved to express and explore, have noticeably gravitated back in my direction. Good deal, methinks!

–Palehorse

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